Nice people thread part 8 - worth the wait

lostinrates

silvercar wrote: »

I've never tried putting fish on top of soup.

The kids don't like chicken particularly, so I often flavour it by throwing a packet soup over it before bunging it in the oven. Onion soup works well.

You need a soup late rather than a normal bowl, so the fillet of fish looks like a sort of manatee swimming through it, when its really sitting on the plate. So it's not on the soup. When I do this the soup is quite lit, because the fish it the heft. It's another way of having fish with veg really. Easy and quick.

silvercar

Thoughts with the michaels.

My stress score was 23! Not surprising as I'm generally quite placid.

Ten years ago it concerned me that my work (a couple of years into my business that was based on an idea of OHs and the contacts to set it up were all OHs) was never going to use my training/ degree. Now I've accepted that that doesn't really matter and lots of people work outside their specialist field and the skills I gained before that point are actually used. Letting go of the idea that I should be doing something different meant I then filled the gaps that were missing by voluntary work. So now the balance is there, but what pays the bills isn't the stressful or the time consuming bits. And the stressy voluntary stuff is less stressful because I know I can let go of it if it gets too much.

silvercar

LJ wrote:

The inquest isn't upsetting in the way you might think - it's all such a terribly long time ago (3.5 years since he died, nearly 8 years since he left and 9.5 years since I discovered he didn't love me any more), so I'm long past the feelings of loss and distress, and because of the burnout I'm too numb to feel much emotionally about it anyway.

I do feel quite strongly, though, that being there for the whole thing is something I need to do - for him, for my kids, and for myself. If I didn't, I would wonder for the rest of my life what I missed. The kids will have to cope - my dad has agreed to come and live in my house and run things while I'm away, several of my friends will help out, and I'll be able to come home at weekends and probably week night or two each week as well - the inquest will be about 2.5 hours away, and I'm hoping to be able to stay with my brother who's half an hour from it (en route from my house). Courts usually only sit from 10:00 to 4:00, to allow time for witnesses etc to travel, leaving the beginning and end of the day for everyone involved to get their paperwork done.

It sounds stressful in itself. Even if you feel emotionally detached from him, you are feeling some emotion on behalf of your kids. I never even thought that it may be far away; so the comfort factor of being in your own home is gone.

michaels

silvercar wrote: »

Interesting thought. Why? I think it would be nice to increase the numbers slightly, don't mind what social or racial background particularly.

In general I find only associating with 'people like us' closes one's mind off from alternative ways of doing things and thinking about things and that mroe information is never a bad thing. Insularity and group think I feel leads to a lot of the problems of this country be it institutionalised racism, institutional bias or even the complacency leading up to the banking crisis.

In this thread everyone brings interesting things to talk about so the more and the more diverse the better (within reason, I have tried to keep up with the Mr T glitching thread at times but it becomes a full time job in itself and is then a chore rather than a pleasure. SC if you are over there make sure they know that double nectar can be doen with multiple cards on one account and for each category up to £50 rather than £50 total)

Generali

sss555s wrote: »

Sounds a nightmare of a situation to be in. Lessons learned and all that.

The up side of that is you could easily be living and coming into the best stage in your lifetime off the back of that negative.

I don't regret doing the job but it has damaged me, no doubt about it.

If everything had gone to plan I'd have a million quid in the bank and be 5 years from retirement now. Plus it taught me what my limits are and gave me the skills to do my current job which I really enjoy.

michaels

I have this theory that if you are the sort of person who could be happliy retired early on a 'modest' sum you are not the sort of person who has the drive and ruthlessness to ever make that much money whereas if you are the sort of person to make a large sum you are also the sort from whom having more and continually prooving yourself matters and thus you are unable to retire early.

Did that make sense?

Edit: I definitely fall in to the former camp

lostinrates

michaels wrote: »

In general I find only associating with 'people like us' closes one's mind off from alternative ways of doing things and thinking about things and that mroe information is never a bad thing. Insularity and group think I feel leads to a lot of the problems of this country be it institutionalised racism, institutional bias or even the complacency leading up to the banking crisis.
)

We are a reasonably diverse group with civility in common. Few extremes, sure but certainly not exclusive to minorities. :mad:

I would welcome more nice people , regardless of background, and love what i l
Earn about different waysof approaching things (i think its a particularly good way of communicating for that ) but I do feel my own real life circle is relatively diverse.


Edit...I don't know how the angry smilie got there!

mystic_trev

Just tried that burnout thingy and scored 17 :j Mind you that's probably because I'm retired:D

Generali

michaels wrote: »

I have this theory that if you are the sort of person who could be happliy retired early on a 'modest' sum you are not the sort of person who has the drive and ruthlessness to ever make that much money whereas if you are the sort of person to make a large sum you are also the sort from whom having more and continually prooving yourself matters and thus you are unable to retire early.

Did that make sense?

Edit: I definitely fall in to the former camp

Yes, that makes perfect sense.

I used to be in the former camp, now I'm not so sure. The trouble is I've had to sort of start again and that's really painful. I should be earning a lot more than I do which means I can't afford the stuff that makes working hard a bit easier.

PasturesNew

michaels wrote: »

In general I find only associating with 'people like us' closes one's mind off from alternative ways of doing things

I'm here for that!