Hoarding - Springing Ahead

GreyQueen

Blimming 'eck, mothernerd, that's a lot of Stuff to process, my mind is boggling at the enormity of it. And good wishes for your ongoing recovery, btw.

Re parental clothes, I am wearing some cast-off tops of Mum's as we are the same upper body size but I'm 5 inches longer in the leg so we'll never share trousers and I don't wear skirts at all. She's had major clear outs to the chazzers, too.

My Dad was given some unused pjs belonging to his BIL who died this autumn. I find a lot of families pass things within the ranks, if people are of a size to fit things. If you have to donate things belonging to a deceased relative and are cringing at the thought that you might see someone around the town in them, you could always donate them to a national chazzer chain and ask that they go out of the area.

Things are looking a bit more orderly here in the back bedroom, although there is still far too much Stuff in here. I shall shove a vacuum around later, the carpet is all bitty and dusty from the fluff I've stirred up into the air.

mothernerd

Thanks GreyQueen,she's very much still with us. She has loads of clothes, in part a reaction to having very little money to spend when we were young. It's more that she won't wear her good clothes.

She no longer does her own housework and her social life has been very much curtailed by both her own and her partner's illnesses - he loves being driven around, but if they stop to eat (sometimes one of his sons or his grand-daughters take him out so mum can have some quiet time it is hard work being with him all the time) or if they go to one of relatives for a meal, he now wants to come back home as soon as the meal is over.

When she did her own housework, she would wear 'old' clothes (I do mean old, she still has some of my grandmother's clothes and she died 34 years ago and my aunt's) and would only wear 'good' clothes if leaving the house. But she is still wearing the old clothes and sometimes looks slightly 'tatty', even though she is quite vigilant about her appearance in other ways.

Meanwhile she has wardrobes full of clothes lying unworn. I just want to persuade her that she is effectively 'a lady of leisure' (she's 79) and could perhaps downgrade some of her old dancing clothes (she has lots that would be suitable for daytime wear) and consign the 'old clothes' to the ragbag (they aren't fit to give to charity.

She does sometimes give me her off casts - I take them because, as I've said elsewhere, she needs to de-clutter more than I do. They always go to the cs - she's flat chested, I have always been well-endowed so they generally look hideous on me (some are hideous on the hanger). I wore one outfit from the last batch to Ds3 and when he had stopped laughing, he said I looked like something from the fifties and not in a good way.

Perhaps it's partly that we have both generally erred on the side of caution and worn classic clothes. We probably both dress older than our age but she's 79 and dressing for someone 20 or 30 years older.

I have dropped hints. On occasion we have been looking for something in her wardrobe and she has to physically push the hangers apart, in order to take something out. I said "You do know your clothes are supposed to have room to breathe?"

I need to be tactful (I'm not always). I don't want to hurt or upset her but she used to be so smart and her current choices are not doing her any favours. She has her done by a home hairdresser every week and gets lots of visitors (so home is more public than it used to be) but wears worn out clothes whilst the smart ones keep the wardrobe warm.

GreyQueen

Hmmmm, perhaps you could say something guilelessly along the lines of how all her lovely clothes will be so appreciated by some stranger eventually, because of their quality and how lightly-used they are.

And then zip da lip and allow the thought to percolate and maybe she'll start thinking , Huh, why should some stranger get to enjoy my good stuff, I'm going to wear it myself, so there!

I operate on the theory that under the surface of every mature adult is a truculent toddler just waiting to get out.

thriftwizard

Mothernerd, as a vintage trader I think I'd kill to get inside your mother's wardrobe... I only started doing clothing because my own mother had threatened to declutter her fabled wardrobe, and it's paid my rent & stall fees ever since! But not with stuff Mum has decluttered, because she hasn't... she's parted with 3 items, one of which (a very lovely 1940s Dior dark-blue-lace-over-light-blue-satin dress) went straight into DD1's wardrobe. Heaven knows how it fits her, as Mum is quite dinky at 5'2" and DD1 towers over me at 5'8", but it does & she looks stunning. No fake polka-dot "vintage" dresses for my diva...

I suspect Mum, like your mother, couldn't afford "good" clothes when she was young, and can't part with them now, however she came by them. When mine downsized into a very luxurious retirement flat, she complained that my stepfather was leaving his clothes "any old where!" Which was because with a mere 2 double full-length fitted wardrobes, one single and one half-length double, plus two full length double free-standing wardrobes and two biggish chests of drawers, there was nowhere left to put his two suits, one tweed jacket, 5 shirts, two pairs of trousers and two jumpers!

I'd be quite wary of donating them to a charity shop; half of the ones I work with bin "old" clothes straight away unless I can get to them in time. If they're not currently fashionable, they're not interested & they certainly won't put them on the shop floor. However, the rag man certainly will be interested, and he'll charge the likes of me a small fortune for them even though the charity would only have got, say £5 per full bin bag for them. You could quite easily put them up on Ebay as a collect-only job lot, even if you donate the money to charity; I'm prepared to bet they will sell, probably for a decent price, provided you keep the start price reasonable and put up some good pics of anything classic or outrageous, hanging up & well-lit.

silvasava

Took 2 bags to the CS yesterday & THEY WERE CLOSED!!! How very dare they!
Still - the bags have stayed in my boot for later this week. Decluttered my epilator 'cos the razor bit didn't work & DiL bought me a new one for Christmas. Its sitting on the side now with DH's old hair trimmer that also needs to go to the tip. I have a cunning plan.... when DH gets up in the loft to get the box for the Christmas tree I'll ask him to bring dowm the 2 television sets & old stereo system & DVD players. The DVD players can go on Freecycle & the rest to the tip 'so I only have one trip dear' )

thriftwizard

Two bags from this household being decluttered to our favourite CS today as well. But I missed my mark with the books, which are still piled high in the conservatory; my one opportunity to take them to the stall with space on the bookshelves, where such things do actually sell, was suborned when one of the kids had to return an item to a shop down in the city. The 14-day "returns" window runs out tomorrow, and she's working today, so needs must. I'm a bit disappointed though, as I'd wanted to start the New Year as I mean to go on.

Worse things happen, though - onwards & upwards!

heartbreak_star

Mothernerd - if you've managed to declutter some LARP gear I'm really impressed - share the secret as most of our house is doing well but we have larping kit EVERYWHERE!

HBS x

GreyQueen

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Mothernerd - if you've managed to declutter some LARP gear I'm really impressed - share the secret as most of our house is doing well but we have larping kit EVERYWHERE!

HBS x

I have a longbow behind the bed and a quiver of arrows behind the sofa, but they're defiantely not clutter.

Someone I know had a custom-made broadsword taken in a burglary (re-enactor). I imagine the loss adjustor's eyebrows rose when they read that claim.............:rotfl:

As part of yesterday's clearing up, I dragged a large shopping bag out from under a table (after vacuuming dust off it, had been there for some time). Thought it was a bag of Stuff of Mum's which had been slated for charity-shopping and not made it off the premises.

Turns out the top two things were of that nature but the rest were a misc of Stuff from a hasty tidy-round of her bedroom. About half the bag turned out to be old mags (ten year old mags) which are now in the recycling bin, and most of the rest is personal paperwork which will need sorting through when she's feeling minded; I have put that back where I found it.

A reduction in volume by 70% and no upsets; not going to push anything tonight, the CH has just gone BANG and she's a trifle stressed - lovely engineer due tomorrow morning to hopefully fix it.

greenbee

Are you sure she doesn't need to move stuff so the engineer can get to the boiler GQ? ;-)

GreyQueen

greenbee wrote: »

Are you sure she doesn't need to move stuff so the engineer can get to the boiler GQ? ;-)

Nah, it's a back boiler behind the fireplace but the controller is easily accessible in the airing cupboard upstairs.

The real fun will be in about 5 months' time when this same engineer will be spending the best part of a week here installing a whole new CH boiler. He will be in the loft, he will be in the airing cupboard, he will be running pipes hither and yon - I shall be in Provincial City minding my own beeswax.:rotfl:

Over 20 years ago. I spent 5.5 weeks minding this fort for them whilst the extension was built. 5.5 weeks with builders in is like 5.5 years of real time. Ah've paid mah dues, people, ah've paid mah dues.