Hoarding - Springing Ahead

GreyQueen

greenbee, if they wanted an easy life, they'd have less stuff. We're a family of bookworms but otherwise Dad is fairly minimalistic. Mum has isshews and KB can't watch hoarder programmes on TV, little to close to home, IYSWIM.

I was getting a little concerned about the recycling wheelie bin as it was virtually full. I instigatged hardcore recycling in this household when I lived at home many moons ago but I expected it to lapse when I moved out; I admit to control-freakery but accepted that there are limits to my remit, but to my surprise, the hardcore efforts continued. The domestic recycling outnumbers the rubbish-rubbish about 4:1 which is pretty much the same as at my micro-flat. And the bin is nearly full and will be emptied tomorrow, yay.

Dad remarks most visits that I somehow manage to motivate Mum to clear some things out. She did observe yesterday that it doesn't seem to make much difference to what's left, but that's because there's a lot in the first place and you'd need concerted efforts each week to make a noticable change.

She's reading through her personal book mountain and some of them can leave today to the c.s. and I will see if the oft-discussed bone-china mugs can go, too. The decision was made two weeks ago but the problem is with the execution.

After breakfast, I finished separataing all the tractor-feed sheets into single sheets and will randomly turn them into scratch-pads by quartering them. I'm an ardent preserver of re-usable paper, because I actually do use it at work, to temporarily scrawl customer's numbers and details of the enquiry on during the call - at shift's end it all goes into the confidential shredding. It seems a wanton waste of paper to use brand-new stuff for that, so I use second-use paper.

Plus, having the attention span of a gnat at times, I often have to write myself memos at home in order to keep up with what I am supposed to be doing.:rotfl:

Right, I am now going to turf out the big kitchen drawer. We started pulling this about half-heartedly after tea last night, but it really needs to be emptied for fuller investiagation and de-crumbulation. This was instigated by my stopping Mum buying another potato peeler of a certain type (because everyone has a minimum of three different types of spud peeler at home, several examples of each type) because I thought she had some more. We found another 4 unused without any particular deep grubbling.

Cover me, ladies, I'm going in.

ETA; The kitchen drawer has been decluttered. We now have order, a bag of stuff for the chazzer, some less-used things for the other cutlery drawers (one of two other cutlery drawers, this is a 3-sideboard house), a spare knife for me and three spare veg prep knives to go to Nan's as Mum cooks there for her and goes nuts about having rubbish knives. Several things have gone into the bin/ the recycling.

I'm up for more but she has hit the wall on her personal ability to endure decluttering today, so I shall bide my time, have another 6 days to work on things before I hie me off to the micro-flat to play Tetris with my own belongings. Result!

peatles_2

Really must join this, really need to de clutter, I hoard a bit and hate throwing things out I will one day use at school...primary teacher. Today I have tidied my daughters room ready to put Christmas bits into, got rid of a tv video combi and 34 videos from her room on local Facebook page and sold a pop up tent for £3 on FB page. Got 3 other toys for sale on them now, fingers crossed for more sales and more clutter gone. I also have a bag of clothes for charity shop and a bag of better stuff for a friend's daughter tomorrow. Happy new year all, I will one day be tidy and organised....honest!

silvasava

GQ - i do so enjoy your posts especially your trying to declutter for your Mum & Dad. I don't know why but the Johnny Cash song 'One Piece at a Time' came to mind.............. but maybe 'cos I'm a bit warped that way

GreyQueen

silvasava wrote: »

GQ - i do so enjoy your posts especially your trying to declutter for your Mum & Dad. I don't know why but the Johnny Cash song 'One Piece at a Time' came to mind.............. but maybe 'cos I'm a bit warped that way

You is a sick wumman and no mistake.

I like to help out by doing chores when I'm here but it's virtually impossible to do cleaning because of Stuff, and you can't declutter it without the owner of the Stuff to hand to arbitrate on what can stay and what can go. Left to my own devices, I can be quite firm, some of the time. But Mum (chief stuffer-upper) has psycological isshews around Stuff and can get stressed and ratty after a relatively short amount of decision-making (30 mins usually).

I also have finite energy (the old ME) so if I have to thrash around among the carp before I can get going, I ususally fizzle out and grind to a halt. And my parents are in their mid-seventies and getting more weary and the amount of Stuff becomes more of an obstacle to getting anything productive done.........ach well, it's the usual run of things, same for most people, I guess.

One day all this will be mine to deal with, and I really don't fancy wrestling the Carp Mountain and mourning at the same time; anyone reading this who is 50+ and has children, if you love them, declutter starting now and spare them a lot of aggro later on.

camelot1001

GreyQueen - Your posts are great, your parents house reminds me of my parents, stuff everywhere. Particularly good was the collection of egg cups. One had a note in that when mum died they should go to a certain person. That person was me and I hated them! We never have boiled eggs for a start, but when it came to sorting them out they were nearly all chipped and totally useless. They all went to the skip!

I am decluttering quite a lot today as I am flying out to The Netherlands to stay at DS2s flat (he has gone to Iceland today for a holiday). I am taking his XBox with about 20 games, lots of christmas presents and various items of clothing from his wardrobe. As long as I can manage the rather heavy suitcase and rucksack we will be fine!

Lots to do in the new year, took a load of spare bedding to the CS, why we needed 14 quilt sets in a 3 bed house is anyone's guess!

pavlovs_dog

lacking my usual motivation to have a good old decluttering blitz (probably not helped by the fact that I've already done the easy targets and what remains is more sentimental/ingrained kibble.

have been quite ruthless with a few well intentioned but unwanted Christmas pressies, which have gone straight to charity shop corner

GreyQueen

The recycling collection lorry came a few mins ago and I was able to have a fast gather round of stuff from the draining board (washed cans and bottles etc) and get them into the bin so that we start the next fortnight with a clean slate. That 240 litre wheelie was full to the brim. The other bin, same size, usually gets one black sack in it per fortnightly collection period.

Am pootling around in the back bedroom, a tiny space with a bunk bed, and office desk for Dad's pooter and a lot of carp in boxes everywhere. This is always a bit of a hell hole, but it's my hellhole for the rest of the week, so at the very least it can be dusted.:rotfl:

Some of the things which went out where the plastic containers which came as part of the fridge freezer. Not the present incumbent, the fridge-freezer before that, gone these several years. WhyOwhyO why?!

silvasava

GQ - DH & I are in late 60's early 70's so thats part the reason why I need to clear the loft. I saw so much of MiL's stuff sent to the CS & tip because we didn't have the time to sort things properly. My Mum (bless her) had managed to clear a lot but a houseful of stuff is still a houseful, no matter how much its been decluttered.
I've managed to give my willow plates that decorate the breakfast room a wash & I've culled quite a few which will be sent to the CS. A lot of them have sentimental associations for me so I'm aiming to just keep those. Amazing how good it looks when they're all clean & shiny again.....note to self - should clean more often

GreyQueen

Yeah, I take Nan's ornamental plates off the wall from time to time and wash them. It's amazing how slowly grunge dulls things without you noticing until you clean them up.

My Nan is 91.5 years old and there is absolutely nothing in her loft, nor has there been for decades, but there are two outbuildings and two sheds. It's a council place so will have to be given back sharpish, when the inevitable happens (note for people with relatives in council housing; if there is an executor, they have to serve 4 weeks' notice on the council, if there isn't, talk to the council asap as the housing dept will have to serve notice and the tenancy will run until it expires).

Have been taking a breather from pulling stuff around in the back bedroom and the adjacent landing. Have boxed some teetering dusty stacks of books, videos and dvds, after dusting them. Still far too much stuff but at least it's contained.

We scoffed the last two R0ses choccies this aft and after a short discussion, the tub can go into the recycling. Which is a minor triumph as it would normally trigger hoarderish tenancies.

Righty, need to continuing boxing stuff and re-arranging piles. Time spent in the family home re-affirms my minimlistic leanings in my own gaff. Love 'em to pieces but they're a bunch of muddlers, bless them all.

mothernerd

GreyQueen you are so inspiring and so many of your stories echo with me (the third hand fridge freezer accessories - although I have been grateful for saving a microwave plate from a broken machine). I took on the job of de-cluttering at my mother's partner's place (they've been living together for 17 years) after she fell downstairs in February 2013.

When I started (with one of the two unoccupied back bedrooms) the door could only be opened a few inches and you then had to squeeze round the door into the room. Her partner will not throw things away - she has only allowed several recent purchases in on condition that the older broken item goes to the tip but has spent too many years living by 'his house. his rules'.

I have gradually worked to the point were you can get all the way across the room to the window but there is still much to do. They had a new kitchen over two years ago and a lot of stuff made it up there (his sons made additional storage space in there about 15 years ago by installing their own ex-kitchen units. Despite the fact that it is not needed, she is still reluctant to part with this extra kitchen stuff.

In the past her partner did a lot of diy (he's also got OCD symptoms) but even before his dementia and Alzheimer's diagnoses he mostly spent the day snoozing in his chair. Despite having gone fishing once in the last five years, he has a small shed full of gear (3 fishing baskets) plus more in the room of doom.

I have achieved quite a lot - even unwrapping the many different types of tape from their individual plastic bag and elastic band shells and lining them up against one side of a drawer at least means that when one of his children or grandchildren needs something (one grandchild had water pouring in through the bathroom ceiling last year, her father wanted suitable tape to protect some part finished work until the damage could be repaired) they have a chance of being able to find it.

I was doing well until the middle of last year, asked one grand-daughter to take and use or dispose of correctly (she's done some of the same environmental modules as I have) all the car accessories (the car went years ago - what is smoke treatment anyway, no I don't need to know), ditto light bulbs for a long deceased cooker.

My own ill-health (couldn't get up the stairs at all) has slowed progress and my mother had a range of symptoms which got worse culminating in a 3 week hospital stay for mum in September and a total hip replacement for me in November. I moved back into my old house the week before my op and have de-cluttered and still have more, piles of bedding and other items left by DS2, who was renting it from me.

My proudest achievement of last year (February) was de-cluttering a boy. DS1 and all his furniture (the things I gave him, his previous 2 gfs have left with all joint purchases) came back to occupy my second largest room. He had already filled the tiny bedroom with all his mountaineering and larping gear following another downsizing, nine months previously.

He and his current beloved (this one is going to last, they've extended they rental from 6 months to a further 2 years and are saving for a house deposit) moved in together last February and despite filling a van and gf's uncle taking another carload it took some weeks of me meeting him on the bus route home to finally transfer all his possessions to their new home. I kept at it (had as much as possible lined up in the hall and vestibule and started moving stuff out onto the drive as soon as the van arrived) because I seem to have been on a permanent mission to de-clutter DS2's things and move DS3 down from the attic for the past 2 1/2 (nearly 3) years.

This is the year to step it up another gear. I tried to clear as much as possible before our move (too much rubbish moved with us last time) and have gone through each box as I unpacked - all boxes were broken down and put in the recycling bin so clutter has nowhere to go. I've further refined things since my operation.

I have a number of baskets and boxes (wood and strong manilla card) and there are already two large emptied oval baskets to hold Christmas decorations when they come down (was 3 cardboard boxes + two bags - all gone), any excess must be further culled. All diy screws etc have been sorted back into their drawers (been used by me, DS1 and numerous workmen over the past 15 months).

I need to get back to de-cluttering as soon as I am back on my feet. I was only given permission yesterday to walk (around the house only) without crutches. My sons keep telling me that I own nothing which is of any value to anyone else and I haven't had much joy selling things, but have successfully given away quite a lot.

My own faults are probably my craft supplies (I need to work on completing a few bits now that the items with Christmas deadlines are out of the way) and feeling that things are too good for me. I have finally persuaded myself to use a notebook I already had as a diary for next year. I bought it several years ago, it was beautiful, I loved it. Felt guilty by the time I got home (I've always found it difficult to spend money on myself - probably years of putting myself last when the boys were small) so put it away in the 'present drawer' to give to someone else and it's been there for perhaps 7 years (no longer exchange gifts with the people who would appreciate it).

So this is my year, I'm using it (instead of buying) and I will enjoy it. I will need some new clothes. I have lost weight steadily since being diagnosed with diabetes in December 2012, have worked my way through 3 sizes of clothes in my wardrobe (used up/used for painting/donated anything that was still in good condition) and am now in the smallest.

I had a temporary setback (and weight gain) when my leg deteriorated to the point where I was diagnosed and told my leg was so bad I shouldn't be walking on it (was still trying to increase my walking and carry out house repairs needed for selling up to then). Since my operation I am back on track (had to fish the last of the larger skirts out of the painting pile to go in hospital).

I have been looking at clothes websites for a while - there really wasn't any point during the years when I gained weight despite any effort I made and looked like a badly made beach ball. However I have decide that, as I should get to a sustainable size at some point in the year (will start with simple items which could be easily taken in) I am going to use the material I have as the basis of my new wardrobe. The material I have had for 7 years minimum, 15 or 20 years for some pieces and didn't want to spoil or use when nothing looked good on me - so have existed on other people's cast offs and the odd cs purchase. I have set a budget of £25 for the year including notions, but will check my own and my mother's stash of cottons and zips before any purchase are made (mum hasn't made anything since she hung up her tap dancing shoes but still has tins full of these).

Sorry for wittering on. I'd be interested if anyone has any tips for dealing with a parent's clothes, apart from the obvious 'don't even go there'.