Hoarding - Springing Ahead

SingleSue

Hope people don't mind me posting, I have been posting on this site for years and didn't even know this thread was here!

I'm a sort of mid recovery disorganised person/hoarder, always been a little like it but it really took off when my marriage fell to pieces and I had a breakdown. Anyway, after many years of always promising that I should do something about the clutter and never actually doing it, one day whilst sat watching the telly, my brain just seemed to click..one minute I was watching the telly, the next, I had a roll of bin bags in my hand and I was tackling one of the many piles of stuff in my front room.

I have no idea what made me change, I had never told anyone about my problem and because youngest doesn't like people (complex autistic), no begger visited to be able to see the problem (if they tried, it would be screaming ab dabs and complete melt down from youngest whilst the visitor was still stood at the door - always been like it, even when the house was 'nice')

This was at the end of May, possibly at the beginning of June and since then, my front room has been completely cleared (we had a two person space of carpet free running the length of the room), my bedroom completely cleared (I had a sort of path through on one side, it was cluttered up to bed level on the other two sides), downstairs hallway, stairs and upstairs hallway completely cleared and a fair bit of the kitchen (although that was never really a huge problem, it is more stuff in cupboards there).

Although my house was never like those you see on the television with things piled to the ceiling, it certainly had the potential to get like that if I had let it carry on and I had been immensely proud of myself for clearing so much junk and working so hard....so hard in fact (because I was also decorating and helping to clear a compost pile in my back garden on top of being a carer to disabled children whilst disabled myself), that I collapsed 3 weeks ago.

Anyway, the housing association want to replace my kitchen and I went from being so proud of my house to feeling like it was the worlds worse, from the housing managers reaction, you would think my house WAS like those you see on television...talk about how to de motivate a person! To that end, they decided I needed the help of a decluttering company and called one in...she rang me today, she can't understand why her company has been called in as, in her words, my house looks better than the houses they are called to regularly, AFTER they have been in and decluttered and cleaned. As far as she is concerned, her services are not needed at all, apart from maybe some moral support to keep me motivated to keep it up.

Mind you, the housing manager declared my bedroom cluttered....my bedroom has a bed, a wardrobe, two bedside tables (double bed) and that is it. No clothes on the floor, no rubbish anywhere, just a clear carpet from the walls/wardrobe to the bed, if I took anything else out, I would either be sleeping on the floor, or my clothes would have no home or my beside lamp would be sitting on the floor, I don't know what she has in her bedroom but if it's any less than mine, I would love to know where she is sleeping or putting her clothes!

After their visit, I am now struggling to keep my motivation going to clear out the kitchen cupboards ready for the new kitchen, I am struggling with the positive feeling I had had with my achievement..in short, she made me feel a horrible person living in a horrible house that was never going to be good enough, no matter how hard I worked.

vulpix

Sue, The Housing Officer obviously has her own issues.The decluttering company lady sees hoarding every single day for her job. Please try to cling on to her comments. You have done well,you are doing well,go girl. Vxxx

silvasava

Right Gang - in we go! What a horrible experience for you SS - I'm absolutely fuming on your behalf. As long as your home is clean & safe for your children how DARE the Housing Manager make comments on your home. With three disabled children let alone able I'd be VERY surprised to see a tidy home 'cos thats what you've got - a home not a showpiece.
Breathe - have a cuppa. Can you ask the 'decluttering lady' for a letter to give to your housing association? Just let the prospect of a nice new kitchen motivate you in spite of the nasty 'jobsworth'
Hugs

SingleSue

Thanks...well had some disability equipment delivered this morning and he didn't run screaming from the horror of my house, so can't be that bad!

The boys keep telling me how nice it looks and are completely on board clearing out old toys but all their kind words doesn't dent the loss of confidence and pride caused by the housing manager..dread to think what she would have said if she had seen it before the declutter!

ellie99

Thank you for your help and good suggestions, especially pointing out that I should pace myself. Because I live in a different town, the time it takes to get there and the petrol cost means I want to get on with it when I'm there. But you are right, doing it slowly will be better for my health, I especially like the idea of doing 20 minutes and resting 10 minutes

SingleSue, don't let the opinion of one person bring you down, you know what you've achieved. If you want to listen to others opinions, then choose the decluttering lady's, not the negative one

thriftwizard

SingleSue, I am sooo angry on your behalf too! What a b!tch!

I am hobbling, which isn't helping. Broke my toe on a well-disguised rock (sand-coloured, nestling in sand) on the beach on Sunday afternoon, and am now strapped up & supposed to "rest" it for a couple of weeks. I don't think she was joking...

Two big items are leaving the house today, and one smaller one; my zig-zag treadle sewing machine, a smaller treadle with a straight-stitch machine on it, and a hand crank, all going to people who can use them, rather than just sitting here looking pretty - or useful, in the case of the zig-zag one. I haven't used either for over a year, so they are offski...

Struggling a bit with OH's reaction to my attempts to reduce the clutter; no sooner do I start to actually achieve something, than the barbed comments start... Curiously he seems almost happier when it really is appalling, than when it's halfway clean & clear.

Knit_Witch

Just a quick quote re the shoe comments, I have two pairs of trainers, 1 pair of slippers and a pair of smartish shoes!

Dr Warlock, 4 pairs of smart shoes, two pairs trainers, 1 pair slippers, 1 pair boots

I need to get on top of books/DVDs and crafty stuff!

pigpen

What is it with men??

Every time I mention going up to clear some landing he suddenly is spurred on to do something... he is currently building Dots new bed... seriously? .. I've been saying all week I need to get this sorted this week.. now it will be tomorrow before I can do anything.. I am getting through my yarn stash though

greenbee

pigpen wrote: »

What is it with men??

Every time I mention going up to clear some landing he suddenly is spurred on to do something... he is currently building Dots new bed... seriously? .. I've been saying all week I need to get this sorted this week.. now it will be tomorrow before I can do anything.. I am getting through my yarn stash though

Sounds like you've got a good plan there. I wonder how much he'll get done before you finally get to do the landing :cool:

silvasava

Thriftwizard - Hmmm Passive Aggresive comes to mind If there's clutter around maybe he can make comments but when its gone there's no chance to criticise & may you can then see who helps make the clutter????
Or maybe you making the effort means he's going to come up to scratch too - men are really from Mars I've decided haha