Hoarding - Springing Ahead

thriftwizard

I think there's probably a huge crossover between the SHTF thread and here, because many of us who suffer from a tendency to hoard have been through one mill or another and are aware that being prepared & having some (relevant) supplies to hand & skills to use can make a heck of a lot of difference, possibly even the difference between keeping your head above water or going under. Part of the problem is working out what's sensible and what's OTT...

You know the people who can't use budget airlines because they have to take everything, including the kitchen sink, on holiday with them? I've come to the conclusion that whilst I can happily go abroad for two weeks on the contents of one backpack, & survive quite happily, I'm more like them at home; in my head I still need two of every pot, pan & gadget, because I'd have to try to get 5 small children ready to walk up to town & negotiate the shops to get another one, at top price too because this is a little town. BUT the kids are all adults now! And I have my own car - just as well, as many of our little shops have gone altogether.

So - once the mess from the Schemozzle has subsided, I'm going to turf out all the extra pots, pans & gadgets from the porch. Admittedly they have come in useful more than once, but my head needs the space now & we'll cope without them.

silvasava

GQ - My shoes were all neatly boxed and in rows at the bottom of my wardrobe . After I culled I had a quite a few empty boxes so they now live in my 'pooter' room (aka little bedroom) with back up discs & pooter info etc.
Decluttered 3lb of cherry tomatoes yesterday - roasted in the oven with Sunday dinner & now waiting to be turned into soup. Large amount of garden prunings in the 'green bag' ready for collection on Thursday & my mission today is to deliver the CS bag & empty the bottle box.
Mentally rolls up sleeves to tackle the upstairs hoovering & dusting today too. Right - Onward & Upward!

ModestyB

Siegemode, before you take your purple kickers to the cs, take a few photo's of them from different angles so you can keep your memories and still have the space. I've got rid of a lot of stuff that way and I keep all my pics on a hard drive. HTH.

catshark88

Smiling at the thought of purple knickers (I only realised it said kickers when I saw Skeeters reply) and the slugs in the car (sympathetic smile, honest Pigpen).

I felt like I was the CIA doing the school run today, making sure the kids didn't see their unwanted junk in the back of the car.... Spiders kept themselves hidden though, so that was a result.

Have a happy day everyone.

ellie99

Hi everyone

hope it's okay to post here as I'm not a hoarder myself, but could really do with any tips you can give me.

I'm having to clear out my aunts upstairs flat whilst she's in hospital prior to going into a care home. It's seriously packed, she's parted with nothing for a long time.

Have started by bringing home boxes and boxes of paperwork, and my head is frazzled trying to work out where her money is, because she hasn't thrown any letters away for about 20 years, so a lot of what I'm reading is probably outdated. Will keep working at that and I guess eventually will get it sorted.

I'm planning to speak to charities to see if I can find one who will send a van and men to carry donations down the stairs as I'm not able to do that. Do charities do that if the donation is big enough?

Any advice on the best way to tackle it?
How do you even make enough space to stack charity donations when there's no room to move in any of the rooms?

I'm quite resentful that's she's quite knowingly left it all for me to sort out, but I know I just have to bury that and get on with it.

silvasava

Ellie - Don't feel resentful (although I understand why you do!) she's not in good health & probably couldn't face the upheaval & effort & she's probably quite aprehensive of her hospital treatment let alone going into a care home. I don't know if you have anyone else who can share the burden but she obviously trusts you to act in her interests.
There are plenty of charities that would love your donations - BHF springs to mind and Barnardo's -but there are plenty more & I'm sure you'll gets lots of good advice from the gang here.
As far as the paperwork goes - sort it into years first & then start with the latest & work backwards IFYSWIM - it starts to make sense then.

ellie99

silvasava, I don't feel resentful of her now IYKWIM, but I've been suggesting to her for 25 years that she should start clearing some things out and she hasn't done anything. Until the last couple of years she was fit enough to do it, and I would have helped her.
I can't help thinking it's a very selfish thing to do when you live on your own to leave such a mess for someone else to deal with. Already it's causing my back problem to get worse, and if it gets bad enough it will affect my ability to work.
I'm really sorry if it's not appropriate to say that on this thread, I don't want to offend anyone.

Of course, I don't say any of this to her, I know she's now an old woman and just needs support. Am trying to be positive with her and tell her about the care homes I've been to see.

RadioHorse

ellie99 wrote: »

I can't help thinking it's a very selfish thing to do when you live on your own to leave such a mess for someone else to deal with..

Unfortunately, Ellie, most people who hoard don't keep things out of spite or to cause problems. They keep things because they think it might be useful or that they have emotional attachments to it. The old bills that you think of as rubbish are vitally important to them - what happens if there's a tax issue from 20 years ago! - or the mixer that's broken was a wedding present and they just can't part with it. When you offered to clear it out, she probably thought she could handle it or she was too ashamed of the mess to let you in.


I can completely understand your frustration and anger though - my grandmother is a hoarder and it's horrible to have to clear it out and keep doing it because she can't do it alone. It all falls on myself and my mother to do it and it feels like a mountain to climb without any help.

I'm sorry you have to do it, too. It sounds like a huge task.

RadioHorse

Speaking from experience of when my grandfather passed away and his whole house had to be emptied:

ellie99 wrote: »

Hi everyone

I'm planning to speak to charities to see if I can find one who will send a van and men to carry donations down the stairs as I'm not able to do that. Do charities do that if the donation is big enough?

Many charities will do this, as long as the route to the door/stairs is clear and they can do it safely. You will have to tell them what items + measure them, and they may make several journeys over a few days if the furniture is large, but they will take it. You may find that you will have to use several charities for the different items. For us, the beds went to a church group for needy people, wardrobes and dressers went to a charity shop, and other items went to a second one.

Any advice on the best way to tackle it?
How do you even make enough space to stack charity donations when there's no room to move in any of the rooms?

You tackle it one room at a time, one wardrobe at a time, one shelf at a time. Paperwork can wait - that will take you a lot of time and patience - the main thing to tackle is the items, I take it.

My thing to do is to take a timer, set it for a period of time (twenty minutes on a good day, five on a bad one but whatever works) and work until the timer goes off, and working to completion on an space. For example, if I set myself the task of clearing a work surface that ends up a dumping ground, I clear it, clean it, and straighten everything that needs to be there until it's back to normal.

You could apply the same thing by making a space for a bag for life/carrier bag and filling it with rubbish, another for charity shop, another for keeping, even if you have to stand in the door way and reach into the room. Keep picking boxes, bags, or an area ("I'll work from the edge of this mirror to the white suitcase"), and focused on that little bit. Working until you have an alley way to leave things will take a while but you'll get there, and gradually, you'll start extending the space.

Taking regular trips to the bin, or down to the car will be a thing until you start making enough space to leave the bags in the room but you could pace yourself depending on your physical state of health and tolerance for stairs.

When the timer goes off, leave the room, have a cup of water, sit down for ten minutes, and then go back and do it again. It means knowing your own limits - I cannot do a whole day non stop and I've had to admit that to myself. My mother is the same. It hurts and I feel depressed afterwards when I try and fail to marathon clean/clear properly - but by 20/10ing it, I can get 4+ hours of good cleaning and clearing in every single day and not feel bad about it at all.

The state of the flat may mean that you go until you have a carful of charity bags and then you call it quits for the day, or bags for dump (I'm not sure what her hoard is), or you say, "I'll work from X time to Y time, and then leave" but setting yourself strict guidelines is important. Marathoning or trying to do it all by working for hours and hours and hours at a time just wears you out and leaves you fit for nothing the next day. *talks from experience*

A notebook and pencil is good to keep with you, along with a tape measure and camera/camera phone, so you can measure and photograph items you want valued/sent to charity/ebayed as they become clean and clear.

I don't mean ANY of this to be patronising - I just know exactly what it's like to be in your position, and all I can say is, you have to pace yourself. Hurting yourself by trying to do too much over someone else's stuff is never a good plan.

aeb_2

ellie99 wrote: »

Have started by bringing home boxes and boxes of paperwork, and my head is frazzled trying to work out where her money is, because she hasn't thrown any letters away for about 20 years, so a lot of what I'm reading is probably outdated. Will keep working at that and I guess eventually will get it sorted.

I'm planning to speak to charities to see if I can find one who will send a van and men to carry donations down the stairs as I'm not able to do that. Do charities do that if the donation is big enough?

When my mum's partner died she couldn't face sorting his clothes. A very lovely lady from the Red Cross came to her house and sorted everything - clothes, coats, accessories, shoes, etc. She packed it all into different bags and boxes and let mum help when she wanted. All was handled carefully and sensitively in front of my mum, not just chucked into a bin bag. She then carried it all downstairs and into the car so mum didn't have to lift a finger. She has always given to the Red Cross but I don't think she made an extra donation for this service.

Re, the paper work, even if you don't keep it all (of course you wont) please make a note of the names of any companies even if there isn't any obvious investment. Follow all these up with a letter to their 'search dormant accounts' department - you never know. Long story but I did this when my husband died and after nearly 2 years I received several thousand pounds from three companies. One which should have paid out 10 years before he died so I think even he didn't know about it.