Hoarding - Springing Ahead

lostinrates

MrsAtobe wrote: »

LiR, my darling sister in law to be came down a few times before we moved to help me go through the walk in closet that was overflowing with my clothes. She's training to be a counsellor, so she managed to hit just the right time with me. I purposely didn't tell her which was my mum's coat, because I wanted a genuine opinion on whether it suited me or not. It was a very good quality coat, camel in colour, woold and cashmere, but it just didn't suit me, so what was the point in me keeping it?

Is there someone you could trust to go through your wardrobe with you?

I have been thinking and thinking, and honestly, no. No one ATM. My social circles are very geographically disparate. The local ones are just not clothesy or the ones that are not in the way I am.

The ones who might come from further away I would find just too harrowing ATM. The people I might have turned to in the past for this are not in my life now! .

Right.

With no pressure to remove anything, I am going to look at the first five shelves on the hanging rail. Worst case scenario is still a win; everything a bit scrunched gets refolded.

Edit: four things gone. A cardigan and a jumper with holes I hadn't noticed and don't want for scruffy wear for rags , an almost unworn vest top and a smarter top suitable for the re wearable clothing bin. .


Also decided to resite so e stuff. I have some stuff I don't use ATM that could go in the loft and some things folded that would be better hanging.

166million

I have just stumbled across this thread, I am not a hoarder but I can relate to a lot of the things you have all talked about. Especially the 'fantasy self' - mine has beautiful dresses and endless sex appeal and self confidence, is a couple of stone thinner than me and gets invited out a lot! I think she also works in the field of linguistics or publishing, and has many hours a day to read intellectual and scientific books.

I am swimming in an old life, which is preventing me from living my current one.

I have decided to wear all of my clothes - if I am too embarrassed to wear it to work or outside then I shouldn't really be keeping it. I feel a bit scared!

moneyistooshorttomention

Nodding in sympathy here with that shoes falling apart when they hadn't even been worn comment:eek:.

This is something that has apparently been happening to some of the shoes/etc made over the last few years, because some manufacturers have swopped to making those "comfort" type soles to footwear from some awful material that disintegrates of itself in a matter of months. I cant remember what that material is called now, just that its man-made. I found out about it when it happened to a couple of pairs of my footwear that I hadn't "had my fair amount of wear" from. I looked it up online and its become a common phenomenon these days.

As it was two pairs of sandals this had happened to, I then went and bought a couple of pairs of replacements (one of which I hope is made from a "normal" sole). The other one of which I know for a fact is made from a "normal" sole, because I bought it from a place that makes that "greenie" handmade footwear. So I can be certain I will get my wear from the 2nd pair at least of those and can send it back by post for having the soles replaced should they wear out.

Even some formerly "good" brands, eg Ecc*, are using this material for the soles of their footwear and I will have to boycott this and buy "greenie" hand-made footwear instead as far as possible. Don't fancy the other option of having to stick to only a couple of pairs of footwear, in order to be able to make sure I've had my "fair wear" before they fall apart anyway, having come from a generation that was taught that it was necessary to have various styles and colours of footwear, so that there was a pair of appropriate footwear to match every type and colour of outfit (so I still think "That's a blue sandals outfit and that's a black boots outfit etc").

whitewing

I think I am finally ready to get rid of the pair of purple F* me shoes.Beautiful, they are, but unworn for 15 years. Even if someone else wears them once, they will get more pleasure out of them than I am - my pleasure is mainly from the memory of wearing them (for a Christmas do). As someone else stated, they didn't transform me into drop dead gorgeous anyway; they are a bit of a work of art in themselves. (Or they were the last time I looked). It is coming up to prom season (soon-ish) and it could make one young lady very happy indeed.

For me, it's not so much that I feel confident that I can go and buy a different replacement, if I need one. It's that I trust myself now to find and buy something beautiful and unusual that suits me as I am because I have the space in my head for good decisions (for a short notice event), and I can wait and take my time if it is a planned event.

Not done much dehoarding but have cleared out my bag and purse each day. Just this makes a difference.

lobbyludd

great stuff LIR, 166 and MITSTM.

I haven't got to that point yet WW where my head has enough space to think what I like and suits me, but I am getting better.

I have this morning released 8 bin bags of vintage clothing into the wild (cs) and 2 bags of rags. Much of it was vintage when I bought it and some had not survived storage. Mostly was a hoot going through it (ahh, the 70's bright orange velour jump-suit shorts that were a nightmare to go to the loo in a club, and hey! the green dress I made from mint-coloured rubber - glue still holding :rotfl:). Some I released with a little sadness (goodbye 1950's full skirted camping dress that I romped up glastonbury tor in, and silver dress that I swam in the bay across from mont san michel in because I hadn't packed a swimsuit for a festival), some with no thought at all - work things that I impulse bought and then didn't like on me, but wore anyway.

There's a pile on the sofa (another bag's worth) that was too hard to decide on: my beloved floor length victorian velvet coat, my mother's mini skirt from the 60's and some lovely new-to-me-at the time silk/cotton/wool clothes that I need to think about. SOme will definitely go, I've remembered that the floor length silver dress was made from very scratchy material that hurt my arms, so that can go.

I was thinking when doing how much fun I used to have with clothes, of how my friends and I would go camping in ridiculous wigs and vintage dresses, or all go out as different versions of adam ant, this despite feeling very depressed a lot of the time, and it has reminded me of happy times within that mire. Also of times that I was unhappy too, but - I think as well as being a bit fearful of going through them alone, I had also been thinking to save them for dd, which is daft, they can be living a new life jumping around the world now (I live in studentsville, they'll be snapped up).

but it also shows me how dull-ly I regard clothes now - I've never been a follower of fashion, but I am currently sitting in some grey linen trousers that are too big and I have to keep hitching it up. These will go after a wash and I'm going to go through my wardrobe again and get rid of the things I don't like (I did this not long ago, but I will be more ruthless). When I need new clothes I'll try and think about it a bit more - there are some types that I know I like myself in so I'll go for those.

lostinrates

lobbyludd wrote: »

great stuff LIR, 166 and MITSTM.

I haven't got to that point yet WW where my head has enough space to think what I like and suits me, but I am getting better.

I have this morning released 8 bin bags of vintage clothing into the wild (cs) and 2 bags of rags. Much of it was vintage when I bought it and some had not survived storage. Mostly was a hoot going through it (ahh, the 70's bright orange velour jump-suit shorts that were a nightmare to go to the loo in a club, and hey! the green dress I made from mint-coloured rubber - glue still holding :rotfl:). Some I released with a little sadness (goodbye 1950's full skirted camping dress that I romped up glastonbury tor in, and silver dress that I swam in the bay across from mont san michel in because I hadn't packed a swimsuit for a festival), some with no thought at all - work things that I impulse bought and then didn't like on me, but wore anyway.

There's a pile on the sofa (another bag's worth) that was too hard to decide on: my beloved floor length victorian velvet coat, my mother's mini skirt from the 60's and some lovely new-to-me-at the time silk/cotton/wool clothes that I need to think about. SOme will definitely go, I've remembered that the floor length silver dress was made from very scratchy material that hurt my arms, so that can go.

I was thinking when doing how much fun I used to have with clothes, of how my friends and I would go camping in ridiculous wigs and vintage dresses, or all go out as different versions of adam ant, this despite feeling very depressed a lot of the time, and it has reminded me of happy times within that mire. Also of times that I was unhappy too, but - I think as well as being a bit fearful of going through them alone, I had also been thinking to save them for dd, which is daft, they can be living a new life jumping around the world now (I live in studentsville, they'll be snapped up).

but it also shows me how dull-ly I regard clothes now - I've never been a follower of fashion, but I am currently sitting in some grey linen trousers that are too big and I have to keep hitching it up. These will go after a wash and I'm going to go through my wardrobe again and get rid of the things I don't like (I did this not long ago, but I will be more ruthless). When I need new clothes I'll try and think about it a bit more - there are some types that I know I like myself in so I'll go for those.

This resonates a lot actually.

I do still have fun with clothes at home. I am aware I am regarded as a local loon, but I don 't mind, I'm happy. But its harder in winter...or has been, heating /hw should help now. And the cruddy stuff doesn't give me joy,

Eg. I have a skirt and a dress I garden in a summer I know LOOK awful but they feel joyful and DH and I know I feel good and happy in them and I won't bosh them because they are light and happy clothes. I have a very sensible and chic black linen dress to wear out and while it looks as good as things look ATM on me its just not me. (I mention these three items as they are the last three I handled this morning)

But the getting up daily in beautiful AND joyful outfits? Doesn't happen ATM. I am not prepared to accept that part of my life is over. Is that a fantasy me? Mainly Its an issue of health and life falling into place. Life is falling into place slowly, so that leaves health, I feel if I get rid of the stuff in the attic, for example, or the stuff I keep for smarter days which happen but increasingly rarely, I am saying,....its ok, I accept it, I'm fading out now. I am NOT prepared to do that! and sorting out my wardrobe is not important enough a task to give up that fight for IYSWIM. It's not so much the clothes, its the times that went with the old me....I want them back and I need a wardrobe to do it in if I become able. So I suppose there is an element of 'fantasy' in there (though not in my day to day wardrobe).

Its almost the opposite. Its as if on not having the life I regret losing with health I have got used to the scruffy of this one and taken them to heart. Hmm. Now looking at it in this way its a pain ful and nasty truth. Thank you.

I wonder what the minimum scruffy I can do with is!

lobbyludd

yes - it is the times that was holding me back from going through the bags, although getting dressed was a big part of those fun times. I am however glad to be free of the worry over what I wore that accompanied a very young me, and any thought of how others view my clothes, that with age has completely gone.

As however I am wedded to the idea of wearing clothes I don't think it's consumerism gone mad to decide only to purchase things I like .

I'm also fond of scruffy clothes, but for me they can be scruffy clothes that I love rather than scruffy clothes that I don't - why am I wearing a khaki T-shirt for example? I'm wearing it because I bought it, but why did I buy it knowing full well that I don't like khaki and don't like me in it? I like rich plums and petrol blue and maroon, and sea colours and yes grey but with these colours. I don't like brown/cream/beige/khaki, so I'm going to stop blinking buying it.

the jolly thing is I've realise that in my 10 crates of fabric in the loft is enough material for any number of skirts of a style I like that I can make in a trice (I used to make a lot of clothes).

so my treat for clearing the loft will be a clothes making session with a friend I think.

I don't know if anyone has any ideas what to do with old sewing machines , the one I use is 30 years old, and I've 2 older ones in the loft (unfortunately not my hand powered one which disappeared when I went away one weekend leaving exH in charge of the house) so they aren't pretty, they are electric, they probably don't work but they were my grandmas - is there any market for these? I'd give them to a good home, just don't really want to trash them if there is somewhere they can go.

if not then to the tip unfortunately.

whiteguineapig

you could always put them on freegle
we have done this with things that we felt weren't worth anything and they have been collected
it saved us the hassle of taking them to the tip

good_advice

Hi everyone. Yes, back here again. Another spring clean.
I did a large give away, throw out last spring too!

We hoard stuff from our past, it only collects dust and takes up space. Time to move forward, we are almost empty nesters.

In the bedroom today, spring cleaning and tossing more stuff onto the get rid pile.

I keep hoping one day we will downsize to a little house by the sea.

Catriona_P

GreyQueen wrote: »

Over the years, I came to the conclusion that, for me, the issues about clothing were about (lack of) social confidence. I was convinced if I just got the 'right clothes' my life would suddenly be transformed and I would be a different sort of person altogether. One who was confident, glamourous, sexy, accomplished, professional, arty etc etc.

It wasn't a single LBM but a journey dotted with them, including reading stuff like Alison Lurie's The Language of Clothes, which opened my eyes to the fact that confidence is something your grow from within yourself, not something you purchase. And that the great con of fashion and hyper-consumption of apparel is trying to fill the personal voids, the ones where we are five year olds standing outside the circles of the popluar kids with our lower lips wobbling on the verge of tears and our inner selves saying Why don't they like me?

I've grown in confidence over the years, from a terribly low starting point, and know what suits my temperament as well as my lifestyle, clothing wise, and when I'm trying to placate my inner five year old by purchasing (or even wanting to purchase) the in thing which I know will be a white elephant because it doesn't fit the life I have, but rather my Fantasy Self. Miss Minimalist has a lovely post on this very subject:

http://www.missminimalist.com/2011/08/declutter-your-fantasy-self/

Nodding along to this. Lack of self-confidence with clothing is a big issue for me (not helped by my leaving for work at the same time as my much more glamourously dressed neighbour). I have far too many clothes because of the 'fantasy' life I want - the fact that I'm on building sites or unheated machinery stores a lot of the time for work means I'd be stupid to rock up in heels and thin cardigans (and wouldnt get much respect from male colleagues if I did). But it doesn't stop the five-year-old self whining in my head "Why can't I look pretty?"

The language of clothes looks an interesting book, might try and find it!

I would love a sewing machine but sadly don't have the time (or the skill) to use one. Think thats my mummy fantasy self talking

HOWEVER. Another of my fantasy selves (the famous novelist one) has just finished writing the first draft of the novel I've had in my head for the last 10 years or so. I'm mid-way through editing and I'm hoping to try my luck with a few literary agents afterwards, so sometimes it's worth holding onto fantasy selves. On the plus side it also means I've been able to clear out a lot of my writing 'inspiration' things I've been holding on to - now the book is all but written I don't need much of it 'just in case' anymore. Even the decluttering of that is satisfying.