Hoarding - Springing Ahead

good_advice

Hi all. 1/4 of the year is now gone and we are still plodding on.
The house looks quite tidy so we are doing ok ;0)

Today. out the door went x2 small bags for CH.
x1 bag of x2 old dressing gowns for clothes bin down the road.
Tossed in the bin lots of old photo's of days gone past. None family. Kept the album for reuse.

Using up bathroom products. Into recycle bin went a shampoo bottle yesterday. No buying any, I have shampoo to use x many.

Best wishes

elona

DD has been taking a big bag of books to the charity shop each week for the last month for me.

Have decluttered a stone of weight over the last couple of months and need to keep going as I want to be feeling happier with myself for dd's wedding next year.

Managed to find a couple of pairs of nice trousers and some tops on sale that are a size down and once they fit properly will chuck out all the things that are too big. Have already thrown out things that were too big or bobbled.

I would love to be able to buy clothes because I loved the look of them and how I looked in them rather than stuff that "will do for now!"

GreyQueen

Very interesting posts in the past day or two. It seems that a lot of us love clothes and shoes but have a very ambigious relationship with them.

Like ginny, I am an afficiando of the black yoga pant look, tidied up a bit with a loose, longline blouse for work. Our dress-code is smart-casual but we stretch the boundaries fairly far, it must be said. We're not seen by the public or by clients, and I sit in a call-centre, so comfort is key for me.

I detest uncomfortable clothes and tend to view social invitations in an unfavourable light if they involve dressing up. Perversely, I can scrub up pretty well, but the kind of clothes which suit a lanky woman like me tend to be from the more expensive ranges and are so seldom needed, compared to my limited income, that I seldom bother. Not much money and no storage for more than a few items.

I'm making additions to my charity shop bag and have now added the second book from my to-be-read-and-donated books, with another one on the go. Sometimes, it can seem a bit random, adding small and not particularly valuable things one at a time until I get a bagful. But it's a bagful out, not a bagful in, and the letters back from Hoxfam reveal that the stuff is selling and earning them money, even if it seems a bit 'small beer' at my end.

And, when we look at hoards, they don't tend to be made of a few huge items, they are aggregates of lots and lots of smallish items. Which is what makes them such beggars to sort out. So each random bit of paper off the premises serves a purpose.

I've now passed my self-imposed No Charity Shopping For March Ban and I have to say that the urge to dive into these has passed, for the most part. I'm aiming to use what I have and use the library for my reading materials as much as possible. It feels good and my spends are down last month as a result.:rotfl:

Hello and welcome to the new posters, by the way, it's lovely to have you with us on our collective journeys from behind the stash.

good_advice

hello elona, well done on getting rid of your books.
Here we mostly have cooking books and a few craft books. A small shelf and a half on the book case and that is it.
I have tossed out all novels as I read FREE books on my kindle now.

Ames

Hi everyone.

I've not posted recently, but I've spent today reading back over a few pages. Lots of inspirational progress, and hello to new posters. I've found this thread really helpful, even though I don't post as much as I mean to.

I'm another with 'inspirational' other lives. I realised a couple of years ago that I'd wasted a decade trying to get my life back on the track it was 'supposed' to go. I realised that even if I were on that track, I probably wouldn't be any more happy than I am now, because that track wasn't the right one for me. Since then I've been trying on various lives for size, but haven't really found one that fits until now. So I'm trying to see de hoarding as getting rid of all the other lives, and creating space for me to be myself.

I also recognise what people are saying about clothes. I veer between 'I'm so hideous that nothing I wear can possibly look good' so just buy cheap tat which doesn't suit, and 'I've decided that this look fits the aspirational life I want to lead so I'll go with it'. My clothes rail collapsed twice the other day (I picked everything up both times, then bought duck tape and fixed it for good). I've had another, more ruthless sort through but I've got bags and bags of washing to do and then sort through. Hopefully as the weather improves I can get cracking with it. I bought a few bits in the next sale, but took most of it back, which is a first for me. I've got a couple of skirts to return that were an online order, I'm hoping to do that tomorrow or Friday.

I had my tenancy visit a couple of weeks ago. I was really, really scared. I did a lot of dehoarding before hand to make it less hazardous for other people to come into the flat (my support worker said 'what have you got rid of? I can see you've got rid of loads but can't work out what it is', which has to be a good thing!). The woman from the housing office nearly had me in tears - in a good way. She'd only been here a little while when she said 'I think you have a problem with hoarding'. She got it!! I thought it was going to be like when a social worker said to me 'just have a good tidy up and you wont be depressed anymore' (I have bipolar). But not at all.

So, she's going to signpost me to various sources of help, and come regularly to keep me on track, and help with taking stuff away if she has to (ie, if the council don't do it). Which is all amazing, and so much more than I expected.

My support worker asked why I had three printers - 'because two are broken and I haven't got round to getting rid of them yet' - then offered to take the two to the tip for me. I gave him a random cardboard box and old hoover too. Well, he did ask if there was anything else...

The hoover's a big deal, actually. It's a cast off of my dad's, he gave it to me so that I'd tidy up more. He thinks I'm lazy and messy, rather than it being deep seated problems. But then, most of the problems are linked to his attitudes, so he wouldn't see them as that. So getting rid of it (I bought my own, which is more suited to a small flat a couple of years ago) is symbolic of getting rid of the cr*ppy attitudes that go both ways between us. And it cleared some space.

I thought I'd had a breakthrough at my pre op assessment. I read a bunch of leaflets they gave me and left them behind, since they'd just disappear into one of the paperwork piles of doom. Until I opened the post a few days later to a cheery 'you left these behind' note. I put them all straight into the bin. I've read them, the info's online, I don't need the paperwork.

I seem to have clicked into a positive mood in the last couple of days, I've got some stressful situations out of the way and I'm raring to go. So tonight's job is to clear the bottom four drawers of five drawer chest. The top drawer has craft stuff in it, which I don't have the will to go through yet. I haven't been in the others for years, but I think they contain books and a few clothes. So sorting out will be just putting them in bags for the charity shop.

I've also got a 'no junk mail' sticker for the door. I just hope it works - I get loads of the stuff.

ginnyknit

Sounds like you are really doing well Ames, good for you girl :j keep up the good work and bless the support worker for helping you like that.

OH had a bad day today but we actually sorted out a couple of issues that he has with leaving things in the spare room. Put another couple of things on fleabay to move more stuff on and slowly but surely making a few pennies from the de- cluttering, bonus!

Have all day tomorrow for a little more bagging off and moving to new homes. I think the flu is finally on its way out :T so that will help no end. realised I have 6 hat boxes that are really just hiding stuff, so emptied 2 and will take them to the Cs on my next trip. They were full of odd balls of yarn which have gone in the freecycle bag.

Hope everyone is doing well, GQ I agree, every small thing re-cycled or moved on fractionally lowers the hoard but also mentally is a step in the right direction.

GreyQueen

:T Well done, Ames, you seem to have turned a corner and it's heartening to hear that you have professionals around you right now who can see the issue and offer practical help and support. Well done on getting rid of the two dead printers and the problematic hoover.

I don't know if you have ever come across Karen Kingston's Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui? I'm not a 'believer' in feng shui, apart from some of it being glaringly-obvious common sense, such as you might become anxious if you have large heavy things above the head of your bed. Cue a No S**t Sherlock expression from me.:p

But this little book is something I've read a few times from the library and it really is very helpful about clutter. What brough it to mind today was your comment about the hoover and your emotions related as it came from your Dad. She describes a stereo she owned which had a minor but highly visible piece of damage caused by the man who was by then her ex. And about how every time she saw this damage, which was several times per day, it caused negative feelings, and the relief of those by getting rid of the physical reminder.

Anyway, it's a good little read, I got mine from the library.

Last night I caught up with the washing and have ironed those few bits which require ironing before breakfast. Will see if the rest is dry and can be put away. Due to lack of space, having the airer up is a major PITA but I haven't got outside space, or even a balcony, so always have to do a wash and get it dry before I can do another.

Will be running some errands after work if the weather stays dry and my energy level holds up, have been thinking about the order of several of them so I can do them by bike with minimum amount of effort as the ME takes the juice out of the system and I have to plan in order to achieve anything. I am also half-way thru another of the to-reads which can go straight into the donation bag, and then onto another to-read.

The quiet satisfaction of seeing gaps appearing in the shelves as they thin out. Progress, my lovelies, progress.

whitewing

So I'm trying to see de hoarding as getting rid of all the other lives, and creating space for me to be myself.

What a fantastic quote for the day, Ames. That is exactly what dehoarding is to me.

whitewing

8 books out.
1 christmas lights thing out.
1 cheque paid in
3 long overdue postal items out
recycling out
1 tube wrapping paper used up
1 roll sticking tape used and the dispenser (probably 10 years old at least and a funny size) in the bin.
1 tin with big splodges ink in the bottom into recycling
1 vintage christmas tree away in the cupboard rather than by the back door

ginnyknit

Busy ginny, emptied bins which I had filled over the last 3 days - lots of bits of junk gone :j Have actually put the yarn on freecycle so now in motion rather than 'going to do' Have rewarded myself by decluttering some ice cream - and I deserve it! House still in turmoil due to all the work but definately getting better and feeling better too.

Keep it up guys we are winning the war :T:T