Hoarding - Springing Ahead

GreyQueen

(((((((Just2Ashamed))))))))) you're in the right place for help, humour and encouragement, pet, and you weren't being self-indulgent, you were just letting it out.

We've all been there, with infinate variations, so don't feel that we're any better than you, we're fighting the good fight on a daily basis, too.

Aim to start with the baby steps and see if you can equalise the messload by letting no more in than goes out for a while. One item of a certain type in? Let another item of same type out.

This simple rule stops the mound getting any bigger while giving you a breather to start chiselling away at the hoard. It didn't arrive overnight and it won't depart any faster than it came. Steady and slow, especially as you're expecting, is the way to go. HTH.

Florenceem

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Room for 1 more?

I am in need of so much help... I've been in denial for so long. I didn't want to admit that my mental health had got this bad as I'm pregnant and scared of being judged by professionals... but I'm now at the point where the house is an absolute state, I'm not able to work, my compulsive behaviours are getting worse and I'm in more debt than ever

I know what I need to do to get things sorted, but I'm just so overwhelmed by things that I end up doing nothing and feeling worse about myself. My friends and family have no idea how bad things have gotten financially and housework-wise (I'm good at hiding) but even so I keep getting the odd 'jokey' comment about 'losing the baby in all the mess', etc which really upset me.

I need some help, but all my family have their own issues at the moment and I'm too embarassed to admit how much I'm struggling. It should be so easy, I'm at home full time at the moment, but I actually did more when I was working... just being in this mess all the time is making my mood worse and making it more difficult to be motivated

Anyway, enough whinging... I'm off to make dinner. Tomorrow is a new day and I intend to do *something* I can at least be proud of. Hope everyone else is doing well and sorry for such a self-indulgent post.

Have you got friends or neighbours who could help?
Try just doing some decluttering and a bit of cleaning each day. It will soon make a difference and encourage you to do more.

Just2Ashamed

Thank you so much for the warm welcome

I'm hoping to get stuck into things tomorrow but realise I'm going to have to take things easy - I have a bit of a tendency to wade in, get overfaced by things and then give up. That just can't happen this time, the house needs to be at least safe and habitable by December

I think first step is going to be sanitising the kitchen and getting rid of the mouse I've just discovered!

caitybabes

Just2Ashamed wrote: »

Thank you so much for the warm welcome

I'm hoping to get stuck into things tomorrow but realise I'm going to have to take things easy - I have a bit of a tendency to wade in, get overfaced by things and then give up. That just can't happen this time, the house needs to be at least safe and habitable by December

I think first step is going to be sanitising the kitchen and getting rid of the mouse I've just discovered!

Some people find that setting a timer for 15 mins and then doing as much as possible in that time works for them. It's motivating and you can make a difference without being overwhelmed.

I find that when I get really into sorting something, it often looks a lot worse as it's all spread out. If I'm lucky, it then gets tidied away at the end and I can have the lovely feeling of having sorted something properly, but I think the messy-stuff-everywhere bit is the moment when it's tempting to walk away. I think I might need to change the way I sort and do it in little bitesize tidy chunks!

You are indeed in the right place - lots of people who are here to motivate you and inspire that's what it's been for me anyway. I feel that my mindset has totally changed since I started reading this thread and, after I've read other peoples' posts, I'm more motivated to go and have a bash at a bit of dehoarding.

Hope it works for you, slowly but surely.

procrastinator

Well
Had my arris well and truly kicked over the weekend, had a team of workmen in who needed to see into every room! My bedroom was the worst. I now have multiple bags and boxes in my wardrobe full of toot from off the floor and chest tops but I can see all the floor and it has been hovered all over for the first time in mnths. Nearly killed me and I ache like mad. DD did her room and I had to fight the urge to bring back in the stuff she was moving out. DH put bags into his car for the charity shop and made sure I couldn't get at it. I get so emotional about stuff bought for the kids years ago. Money was tight so each purchase felt precious, floods of memories tied up that I struggle to let go.

God luck to all that are struggling and welcome all newbies.

sweetpea26

morning all

This morning I took into my little handbag and dumped all bits paper not needed. I cut up old Agrso card into little pieces and will dispose of this too.
Have been away for a break over the weekend and I have to say it has focused me ... house was overwhelming me last week now this week it all seems doable a bit at a time.

Filled out a form that needed to be completed and hung load of washing on the line.
Rest of the day is small steps with bagging old clothes for recycling. Any others can be put into the ebay pile.

Feel in control today and intend to make a list shortly which will be short but will be completed. Small goals easily attained does more for us than long lists that stress us out.

All the best to everyone and to J2A you are not on your own ... take a room at a time and dump like crazy.

Catriona_P

Hi J2A and welcome. The guys here have given some great advice already but wanted to say I know a little bit about how you feel. Before my daughter was born (she's 2 now) my hoarding problem exploded - not helped by the huge amount of baby stuff you seem to accumulate! When she was 5 days old and we were expecting a standard visit from the Health Visitor I was scrabbling around the living room trying to tidy as I was afraid that they would take my baby away as I was so untidy.

So...one step at a time, get people to help if you can (and no heavy lifting of course ). It'll be much harder to declutter for a while when baby comes so bear that in mind (and be gentle on yourself for not tidying when they're small, there's plenty of time for that but babies grow up quick ).

We were away all weekend so no decluttering going on and away this weekend too. Really gutted that I'm missing the bi-annual baby clothes sale at my local NCT this weekend as I have SO much to get rid of of. I'm reduced to selling baby clothes on my local facebook page or eBay and it's much more time consuming that way.

Doesn't help that with the sideboard gone we're even more short on storage space so there's boxes everywhere. :(:(

pigpen

J2A .. When mine got to the point I did 1 room.. there was an element of moving stuff to another room to deal with later but I needed that 1 room where I could go and hide and catch my breath and find some peace from all the craziness about me.. I then could do a second room. I did the kitchen first as it wasn't very hygienic then I did the living room where my baby would spend most of its time so it had somewhere safe to play.

My baby (due today and currently screaming her head off in the basket) is nearly 4 weeks old and I am facing the same dilemma having had fairly severe SPD which hasn't sorted itself yet I have been fairly unable to do anything but I a slowly getting there and need to throw everything out.. I sent bags and bags and bags of stuff to charity shop while I was pregnant, luckily we have 11 just round the corner and I have 2 teenage boys to carry them round so they weren't loitering about the house for long. I am currently wanting to do a massive flinging session but it won't fit in between feeds.

One step at a time!!

FlubM

I did laugh to see people saying they were coveting the mangle I had just got rid of. I had kept it thinking that it might come in handy if the washing machine ever broke down, then relised that when that actually happened (just after I had given birth) I just took a load of washing to my sister's house (she lives all of half a mile away) while my husband went out to buy a new washing machine. I then got a phone call from the card company saying that there was a security alert as my husband was trying to buy something "outside our normal pattern of expenditure". Post natal hormones raging, I gave the poor lady short shrift and told her that that it was actually within our normal pattern as we get through a washing machine every ten years and to call me back when he was purchasing one way tickets to somewhere exotic for himslf and another woman:eek:.

We had alittle set back on the decluttering front when my husband came back from dropping off our cast offs with various relatives as they took the opportunity to cast off some of their belongings in our direction:mad:. However, we got back an awful lot less than we sent so I have come to terms with it.

whitewing

J2A,

If you have a nice midwife why don't you have a chat with her. She and the subsequent hv are there to support you and the baby. The ones in our area are really good at supporting in general, and the aim is always to keep families together so you could well be worrying too much (understandably). I nearly didn't get help for post natal depression as I was worried they'd take my baby away. Luckily I have an extremely experienced health visitor. She has seen me and the house in all sorts of states. And she was great when I had some baby stuff to pass on as she knew of someone who'd be grateful.

It's always exposing yourself that is the worse part of it. Once you have done that, then you can chip away at it. and have a very satisfactory chuck out session, lol. I am past the stage of big chuck outs. It also appears I am past the stage of regular, small chuck outs so I need to keep an eye on that or we will be up to our necks again, lol.

I wish I could help. I also wish we could all descend on pigpen