childminder - baby biting issues

Spendless

When my son was bitten at nursery I thanked the manager for informing me, asked if my child had been comforted and the wound cleaned and the child who had bitten been 'reprimanded' (as age appropriate) and could the staff watch them to make sure a similar incident didn't happen again if there was a 'trigger point' to this and the manager thanked me for being so nice about it as many parents 'go off on one about it' and don't take the viewpoint that I was doing, that I wouldn't do that as for all I knew my child would be the one doing the biting on a diff occassion (which did happen).

Look for another childcare provider. Even if you go back in June how do you know that any issues will have been resolved by then, or there's a problem with a different child and you'll be asked to leave again. Ring some other childminders/nurseries, explain what you are currently having an issue with and see what they say.

mikeandrach_2

thanks. i am going to put himin with another childminder who is a friend that he is used to seeing, so hopefully will settle. its an isolated area where towns are a good 10-20 miles apart so will mean a lot more trvaelling which isnt ideal but to be honest it may mean we end up moving back to the area we came from so that he at least grows upa round some of the kids he will go to school with etc, although maybe our thoughts on that will change at the moment its def an option

DevilsAdvocate1

mikeandrach wrote: »

forget my issue with the wife ok. and thanks idristhedragon good points made. its interesting that he hasnt attmepted to bite anyone else for quite some time. the last time he did i was laying in bed as the wife was playing with him, he bit me and i said no in a very firm voice. he coudlnt even bare to look at me for over an hour and woudl burst into tears every time i moved. i dont want him to be in fear of me but i do want him to know thta there are rules to follow. maybe its as simple as this childminder not following through with the discipline?

So you don't like to be bitten by your child, but you think its okay when a 2 year old is bitten by your child? Odd.

mikeandrach_2

did i say that?

mrcow

Really you just need to move on.

The childminder has made it clear that she doesn't want to look after your son any more. You obviously don't want her to change her mind.

So put it behind you and move on.

Any petty comments about the other family are only making you look bad. Making comments like this on the internet is one thing, but if you are repeating them in real life, you could well end up looking very foolish indeed. People talk. And you never know who you're going to end up standing next to in the playground when they all start school.

Be careful who you slag off. Because it could turn around and bite you on the bum when you least need it. And then you're left with 7 years of everyone knowing what kind of person you can be at your worst.

flutterby_lil

mikeandrach wrote: »

ok thanks, i must admit i am surprised by the responses but take them on board. im not the most experienced parent by any means but i thougt biting was part of the teething process in many children. i must add that atEVERY incident he has been teething. he is not aggressive, he is 15 months old he doesnt understand right from wrong. i am obvosuly looking at alternative childcare. talking to 3 other childminders tongiht though, all 3 have or have recently had children who bite, and none have had this reaction

I am not sure biting children is part of the teething process. My son never bit anyone. My daughter is 11 months old and is starting to know right from wrong. I think your 15 month old son would too be starting to know that was a simple but stern "ah ah ah" when they are doing things wrong they start to learn.

If it is a one off it is a bit different but I bet if those other childminders had numerous issues with the same child continually subjecting the same child to it's biting, they too would not be happy. If I was the parent of the victim, I would be voicing my opinion too.

My step daughter was but at nursery by various children about 8 times in 3 months, she was moved from there.

hellokittygal

Your 15 month old is old enough to be learning right from wrong.
You cannot blame the biting on "Teething" or the other child forever.

Yes, some children do go through a biting phase, however they get told no and they learn.

Have you even tried to look at it from the other parents side?
Their child is coming home with bites from your child, yet you say it's their child's fault....no wonder they were angry! I'm sure you would be too, if you were them!

thunderbird

Difficult situation. Without actually being there and witnessing it I don't think you can really comment on the cause.
However, it sounds like there was a breakdown in communication with the childminder - with the new one make sure you both have a clear understanding of how any unacceptable behaviour will be dealt with.

susancs

The whole situation seems to have got out of hand when you and the other Parents met to discuss the behaviour, instead of just letting the childminder deal with it individually with both sets of Parents. Like at school it is never a good idea for Parents to discuss emotive behavioural issues between their children and it is much better to let the school deal with issues as they are neutral. You obviously caught the bitten child's parents when they were still upset about the biting incident and if their child(ren) has never bitten another child they probably don't see it as "normal" developmental behaviour. You on the other hand as the Parent of a child who bites will see it as more normal behaviour and will be defensive if the other parents sugguested otherwise. I also suspect that any sugguestion that their child as the victim is to blame, will have really inflamed the situation.

Biting is a common toddler behaviour, but with proper interventions it usually stops within a short time. The problem seems to be have continued because there has been no agreed plan of action between childminder and home to ensure you are both consistantly following the same behaviour management strategies i.e using the same words and actions to re-enforce. It was really up to the childminder to speak to parents of the bitten child and re-assure them by giving them details on her planned strategies that would hopefully reduce risk of further biting injuries to their child. Shadowing the child and saying "no bite, it hurts" when they are about to bite and the same when they have bitten another child, removing them away from the hurt child and ignoring them for a few moments whilst the child who has been bitten is comforted, plus reminding at other times that "biting hurts" usually works if used consistantly.

With your next childminder I would agree a plan of action that you both consistantly follow to help deal with the biting behaviour and if there are any incidents I would let the childminder speak to the Parents as the neutral person who has witnessed the behaviour. I would also expect her to reassure the parents that the behaviour is common, but show empathy that it is painful to be on the recieving end of a bite and how sorry she is that it happended whilst their child was in their care. She should give them details of how the she will be dealing with the situation in her setting, inline with support from you at home.

Silentmemory

Sounds to me like the whole family have anger management issues! :rotfl: