Don't understand why people are giving me a hard time ??

jellyhead

Retrohousewife wrote: »

Hi all, basically last year I gave up my part time job this was due to two reasons first being I had hip surgery which failed so I'm in pain quite a bit and always will be. Secondly both my parents are in quite poor health so I have no available childcare for my children, I didn't see the point of paying my entire wage into registered childcare so they desicion me and my husband made was for me to give up work. It's worked out ok as my hubby has decent job we have no debt and I'm now able to help my parents out more, with hospital appts and taking them out for shopping . All sounds great but lately I've been getting a lot of snide remarks or sarcy comments from people some of which are close friends, comments such as "must be nice to sit on my lazy backside all day"(which I don't) or " how can I complain about things my life's so perfect since I have no work worries ( I ad to laugh at this)

The funny thing is these people who are giving the snide remarks often say to me that they wish the could afford not to work ?
I just don't get it I'm not claiming any benefits, I never ask anyone for anything don't offload any of my worries onto anyone and I try my hardest to treat people how I would like to be treat so what is people's problem I just don't get it !!!

Any one else in a similar situation or anyone any suggestions how to respond to these remarks ?
Thanks in advance
X

What were you complaining about?

My youngest is 7 already, but I'm not working yet. I do some work during his school day, but it's only part time, and I do lots of volunteering. It was lovely last year to be able to visit my Gran every day in hospital, and I'm always on hand for childcare if somebody else's child is sick during the school day.

I think you should make sure your friends know how much pain you are in, and tell them you'd love to be healthy and pain-free like they are. It's nobody else's business whether you work or not if you can survive on one wage.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Retrohousewife wrote: »

Hi all, basically last year I gave up my part time job this was due to two reasons first being I had hip surgery which failed so I'm in pain quite a bit and always will be. Secondly both my parents are in quite poor health so I have no available childcare for my children, I didn't see the point of paying my entire wage into registered childcare so they desicion me and my husband made was for me to give up work. It's worked out ok as my hubby has decent job we have no debt and I'm now able to help my parents out more, with hospital appts and taking them out for shopping . All sounds great but lately I've been getting a lot of snide remarks or sarcy comments from people some of which are close friends, comments such as "must be nice to sit on my lazy backside all day"(which I don't) or " how can I complain about things my life's so perfect since I have no work worries ( I ad to laugh at this)

The funny thing is these people who are giving the snide remarks often say to me that they wish the could afford not to work ?
I just don't get it I'm not claiming any benefits, I never ask anyone for anything don't offload any of my worries onto anyone and I try my hardest to treat people how I would like to be treat so what is people's problem I just don't get it !!!

Any one else in a similar situation or anyone any suggestions how to respond to these remarks ?
Thanks in advance
X

I'd probably put down whatever coffee I was drinking, slowly, with a smile and say something like 'Yes, it's funny you know, I'd always wanted to have unsuccessful hip surgery that left me in agony and now, well, finally I get to live the dream'...

lostinrates

Retro housewife,

I also gave up work due to health issues. I was in my twenties, and it was traumatic and galling, and yes, people are extremely opinionated about it. It works for us, dh is well paid but over worked, and me not being tied to an employer is really the only way we get any time together.

I now actually have set up, with my husband, a micro business which is doing ok, plus I use my time for a few shorter term commitments (local charities, some organising for things that uses one of my previously used in employment skill sets) and I am able not to let people down when I am ill and to prioritise our homelife, which in our circumstances is right for us.

I love lots about my life, but peoe fail to realise how frequent medical, appropriate therapy or other appointments which support quality of health etc can be pretty consuming, let alone working round the failures of health and body...that can be truly full time for many.

Retrohousewife

Person_one wrote: »

I can't help but notice your choice of username which makes me wonder a bit.

Is it possible that you've reshaped your identity around this change in situation, and you might be possibly be talking about it a bit too much, or in terms that suggest you think other people's choices/lives are somehow lesser?

Sorry you've had health problems, and there's no excuse for mean comments of course, but if these are people you've always liked and got on with I wouldn't jump straight to the 'they're just nasty and jealous' conclusion.

I would like to think not as I'm a very private person I generally don't really talk about myself or my family too much ( oh and my daughter picked my username as I'm wearing a very retro pinny at the today lol)
I think every one wishes that there was something in their lives that they wish they could change or tweak I guess some can't deal with this in the same way others can.
I defo don't think others peoples situations or life choices are any lesser than mine I just hope that I don't come across this way to them ? Xx

kansaskitty

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I'd probably put down whatever coffee I was drinking, slowly, with a smile and say something like 'Yes, it's funny you know, I'd always wanted to have unsuccessful hip surgery that left me in agony and now, well, finally I get to live the dream'...

This! Yes!

I think, like others have said, they're just jealous.
Good luck to you.

Retrohousewife

Brilliant idea that's certainly made me laugh x

londonsurrey

My life imploded, and I soon found out who my real friends were.

As someone who is a several years down the line, post implosion, IMHO the best time saving recommendation I have is for you to find new friends. Don't waste time on jealous unsympathetic morons.

If they're not there for you even now, do you think they'll be there for you if you needed them more?

SuzieSue

londonsurrey wrote: »

My life imploded, and I soon found out who my real friends were.

As someone who is a several years down the line, post implosion, IMHO the best time saving recommendation I have is for you to find new friends. Don't waste time on jealous unsympathetic morons.

If they're not there for you even now, do you think they'll be there for you if you needed them more?

Yes, they don't sound like friends to me. True friends wouldn't make snide remarks.

FBaby

Of course they are jealous! I too am jealous of the few friends I have who don't have to work, but I still love them and am pleased for them. Saying that, I had a friend who constantly moaned about how hard things were for her on and on. At first, I was sympathetic, but after a whilst it really got on my nerves. I was a full-time single mum with two kids, she was a SAHM with a lovely husband who contributed a lot, with only one child. Yet, all conversations were about her, and how hard her life was and how nobody showed any sympathy and understood her. One day, she moaned about her husband who had dared to say that maybe she should be grateful for what she had, and that was it, I told her that maybe he had a point! She never talked to me again!

Turtle

I'd definitely go with jealous. But also mean! If I had a friend who didn't work because they could afford not to, I'd be envious but I would never dream of making a nasty / sarcy comment about it.