Don't understand why people are giving me a hard time ??

Retrohousewife

Hi all, basically last year I gave up my part time job this was due to two reasons first being I had hip surgery which failed so I'm in pain quite a bit and always will be. Secondly both my parents are in quite poor health so I have no available childcare for my children, I didn't see the point of paying my entire wage into registered childcare so they desicion me and my husband made was for me to give up work. It's worked out ok as my hubby has decent job we have no debt and I'm now able to help my parents out more, with hospital appts and taking them out for shopping . All sounds great but lately I've been getting a lot of snide remarks or sarcy comments from people some of which are close friends, comments such as "must be nice to sit on my lazy backside all day"(which I don't) or " how can I complain about things my life's so perfect since I have no work worries ( I ad to laugh at this)

The funny thing is these people who are giving the snide remarks often say to me that they wish the could afford not to work ?
I just don't get it I'm not claiming any benefits, I never ask anyone for anything don't offload any of my worries onto anyone and I try my hardest to treat people how I would like to be treat so what is people's problem I just don't get it !!!

Any one else in a similar situation or anyone any suggestions how to respond to these remarks ?
Thanks in advance
X

geri1965_2

They are jealous, plain and simple. I would try not to let it bother you, if someone says it must be nice to sit on your backside all day, just say "Yes it is" and change the subject. Once they see you are not bothered they will probably let it drop.

poledancer49

Welcome! Sorry to hear your hip operation did not go well...is there any chance in the future you can have another operation and be pain free? I think you are a star being there for your parents. Must be hard not to have them to help to give you a break every now and then.
Regarding your friends...tough one....sometimes jealously can make people say things they may not normally say although this is no excuse at all. If true friends I think you should tell them how their comments have upset you.

lushplus4

If you can afford not to work, good for you. There's now a job available for someone else who might be desperate.
Just ignore these people they're envious.

mrcow

1. They are jealous.
2. They are just the type of people to say idiotic things.
3. A bit of both.

Respond by saying a selection of the following:

1. If you work really hard and save up like I did, you might be able to leave work too one day.
2. I wish I was lazy, but I seem to still work harder than most people I know.
3. (If they are a serial offender) Are you trying to be insulting, because that's coming across as a bit rude?

Nicki

I get variations of this too. I'm a full time carer for a 12 year old with severe disabilities and have two other kids, one who isn't school age yet. I also do lots of voluntary work but people constantly ask me if I will be going back to work when the little one starts full time school, and even making plans for me about the kind of job i should do. I just ignore them to be honest as its noone's business but mine and my husbands so long as we don't claim benefits which we don't.

pigpen

Ask them if they are due on or if they are meaning to be a total b!tch today...

That usually shuts people up with their nasty comments darn quick! They aren't being nice why should you be?

Retrohousewife

Yes they must be ! its never really occurred to me that they couthere jealous as the last few years have been quite tough my life certainly hasn't been a bed of roses. Oh well I love your suggestion and will defo be doing that in future, Thankyou x

Person_one

I can't help but notice your choice of username which makes me wonder a bit.

Is it possible that you've reshaped your identity around this change in situation, and you might be possibly be talking about it a bit too much, or in terms that suggest you think other people's choices/lives are somehow lesser?

Sorry you've had health problems, and there's no excuse for mean comments of course, but if these are people you've always liked and got on with I wouldn't jump straight to the 'they're just nasty and jealous' conclusion.

Retrohousewife

poledancer49 wrote: »

Welcome! Sorry to hear your hip operation did not go well...is there any chance in the future you can have another operation and be pain free? I think you are a star being there for your parents. Must be hard not to have them to help to give you a break every now and then.
Regarding your friends...tough one....sometimes jealously can make people say things they may not normally say although this is no excuse at all. If true friends I think you should tell them how their comments have upset you.

I suffer from hypermobility syndrome which doesn't sound bad but my joints are literally popping out all over so drs have said unless they could replace my ligaments (which isn't possible lol) there not much they can donor now I've just gotta try and keep my musclesnstrong and be very careful what I do.

Better_Off_1983

When I worked part time people often asked if I had kids, I am nearly 30 so they would have assumed I had kids. I just said no, I am now debt free and can afford to work part time and not all the hours God sends also, I was glad that my whole day was not consumed by work and being so miserable that I was counting down the days until the weekend!