Don't understand why people are giving me a hard time ??

kathy206

My DH was a SAHD until DS2 went to school. My eldest spent the first 2 years of his life in childcare,until we realised that we could actually juggle our shifts to save money and spend time with him,then DH was made redundant and we managed, until DS2 was in preschool. He was constantly getting remarks from friends and family members -ironically one of whom was and still is a professional dole dosser and will never work again if he has his way- about DH's so called "life of Riley". It's funny how people who are supposed to be your friends think it's perfectly ok to comment on how you live your lives and raise your children. Sure everyone is entitled to an opinion but you are also entitled to tell them to shut the hell up when they overstep the mark. I have plenty of opinions about some of my friends and family however I like to think I am sensible and sensitive enough to keep them to myself. Just smile sweetly when people acidly comment on your "perfect life of Riley" and reply-"yes it's just wonderful" and aggravate the hell out of them

System

jellyhead wrote: »

Well, even if you were claiming benefits, so what? Lots of people are in too much pain to work.

Indeed.

During my time not working and RECOVERING from illness, i've lost count of the people who have judged me cos it it. When someon has told me i have it do easy i just wanted to say please, swap lives with me for one day. Feel what i feel. Feel the pain. Feel the hoplessness. Feel the shame. Feel so bad you want to die. Feel what its like to hurt yourself because of how you feel. And then tell me how i have it "easy". I would give anything right now to have my health and be working. I really would not be jealous of me, there's nothing worth being jealous of.

Sorry..ranted there..

Treevo

I think it depends on whether you've changed or not. I've had friends who have fallen ill and given up work to care for their children full time and some of them have changed completely. Gone are the bright, knowledgeable worldly people I called friends and they've been replaced by people who moan constantly and who can only ever muster up a conversation if it's related to their children. We drift apart because people change and I really believe that you are a reflection of the company you keep and that like goes to like.

lostinrates

Treevo wrote: »

I think it depends on whether you've changed or not. I've had friends who have fallen ill and given up work to care for their children full time and some of them have changed completely. Gone are the bright, knowledgeable worldly people I called friends and they've been replaced by people who moan constantly and who can only ever muster up a conversation if it's related to their children. We drift apart because people change and I really believe that you are a reflection of the company you keep and that like goes to like.

There is a 'sick person' mentality which is fairly limiting for the ill person as well as frustrating to those who surround them, but its very, very hard to not fall into it constantly.

Illness changed me dramatically. I fail to see how it couldn't really. I went from being the person who motivatedw lots of my friends, who never was still, and was the life and soul of the party to someone who had trouble communicating, slept all the time, and cannot do most of the things I enjoyed as well as losing the ability to do some of the things I relied on professionally. How I look changed dramatically, which has huge impact on how I feel about myself, and behave.

Smedays all I can do is pain manage through getting the basics of my life done. I was never a 'just get done what needs to be' person. Now I feel relief when those basics get done. Most of our future planning has to consider various things that might happen. For example, in kitchen designing this year we wanted to lay out our kitchen in such a way as to minimise changes should I need a wheelchair in the future. Then I started to lose vision, which was unexpected. It's hard to live on a knife edge of what may or may not happen to you And I really admire those who limit its impact better than I manage, because I do feel its a failing.

Joons

Jealous, and ignorant.

MrsAnnie

I have had the same for a few years and it really got me down.

Until I wised up.

Now I pre-empt snide comments by saying that I 'sit on my lazy bum all day and do nothing' and 'I live off the profits of great investments'.

It quickly shuts the nosey parkers up :beer:

Goldiegirl

I think it's probably jealousy.

I work part-time, but I don't have children or elderly parents to look after.

I'm just in a position to work part time because it suits me and we can afford it.

Who cares what people think - you are doing nobody any harm, so life your life you way

Incidently, I've had no adverse comments about my choices