How to stop 2 year old coming into mum and dad's room at night?

flutterby_lil

Chakani wrote: »

Stairgate on his door.

This...or a lock on mum and dads door and a stairgate at the top of the stairs.

My son is 5 in July and never got to come in our bed as a baby so very rarely does it now. I would be interested to hear if the child went in mum and dads bed a lot as a baby?

CRANKY40

We have a strange tall house and I would have needed 8 gates for the stairs, so we had one on the sitting room and one on my son's bedroom. It never gave him bedroom terrors and as soon as he was safe on the stairs (we leave an ikea lamp on all night so he can see) we took it off.

To be fair, he never tried to get out. He was a hopeless sleeper, but he never got out of bed, he just shouted for me. Now he's 8 I sometimes find him in my bed if it's been a very cold night as his room is colder than mine, but generally speaking he prefers his own bedroom and his own bed.

What we did do was program him with music like they do in nursery. At bedtime, play him some music, same music every time. Eventually, they nod off when they hear the music. The downside is that when my son's class was taken to a classical concert all 8 members who had been at nursery with him fell asleep :rotfl:

bossymoo

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Two words: Toddler Taming.

Well, adding a few: excellent book by Christopher Green, a qualified doctor who writes from his own personal experience. And he describes his own should-be-patented rope trip for confining young children to their bedrooms: you pretty much tie the door shut enough to stop them getting out, but not so shut that they can't hear you / get your attention.

He also describes the time when he didn't get the length of the rope quite right, and one of his sons got his head STUCK in the gap. :rotfl:

Erm, and if there's a fire and you can't get it undone quickly enough???

Rebecca01

bossymoo wrote: »

Erm, and if there's a fire and you can't get it undone quickly enough???

Or the head gets stuck or another body part, trying to squeeze out and they hurt themselves badly?

pigpen

My mother put a door chain on the bedroom door, high up so toddlers couldn't reach it. The door opened enough to hear any noise in there instead of fitting it horizontally it was fitted vertically so you slid the chain up to get it open..

It doesn't stop trapped fingers but is very quick and easy to open in an emergency.

I wouldn't do it though. I have fitted a gate to bedroom doors when the doorway was very near the top of the stairs and a sleepy child could easily stumble and fall down them only because it was not possible to fit one to the top of the stairs.

TBH though, mine could climb over them from being about 18 months.. making using them much more dangerous than not.

I've not used any at all when the last few have been little.

GreatBigBookcase

I've heard really good things about the Gro Clock:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Gro-Clock-HJ008-Gro-Clock-Trainer/dp/B002APJCNE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363523873&sr=8-1

Savvy_Sue

notanewuser wrote: »

I hate the idea that toddlers need "taming".

I get where you're coming from. However they do need 'teaching', 'training', or something. If they are running amok - and aside from this issue the OP doesn't suggest that the child IS running amok - then I don't think taming is in appropriate.

And it is in many ways an excellent book if you can get round the title!

notanewuser wrote: »

I think tying their door shut is worse than using a safety gate, frankly.

TBH I agree with you. However, I was just sharing the idea - which I suppose may not be in the later editions, I have a fairly early one - which comes from a respected author. Not everyone will agree with it, just as not everyone will agree with any other idea about bringing up children. However to me it establishes that just because one particular HV finds the idea of a stairgate horrifying doesn't mean it's a bad idea.

notanewuser wrote: »

Reminds me of something my parents told me. Once DD learned to stand she would wake many times in the night to try our her new skill, and then sleep all day. Somebody suggested a sleeping bag would make it harder for her. Nope. My dad then told me that I was exactly the same, but the sleeping bag I had had ties on it so that it could be secured to the cot, stopping me from rolling over or standing up. This was something they bought. Can you imagine if somebody suggested that now?

:rotfl: Oh IF ONLY someone had suggested this to me when DS1 was young! I used to hold him down in his cot for his daytime sleeps once he'd learned to stand up! If I didn't, he'd haul himself up to standing, howl until he fell asleep, fall over and wake himself up, then stand up and repeat the process over and over again ...

I wouldn't have minded, but he still NEEDED that daytime sleep!

but yes, now you'd have SS onto you.

bossymoo wrote: »

Erm, and if there's a fire and you can't get it undone quickly enough???

As I said, I'm not recommending it myself. I'm just saying what Christopher Green says.

Rebecca01 wrote: »

Or the head gets stuck or another body part, trying to squeeze out and they hurt themselves badly?

Which is why he says you have to get the length of the rope just right, and once he failed!!!

I'd go for a stairgate every time, personally. If you've had to tie it shut because the child can undo it, you can always leap over it in a fire!

pandora205

The Supernanny technique works well if done thoroughly and parents don't undermine it by sometimes letting the child in their bed.

However, the issue can often be that the child has not learned to fall asleep without an adult cuddling or in their bed. Children wake briefly several times per night but don't come fully into consciousness, letting themselves drift off to sleep again. However, if they need someone with them (or a dummy or bottle) to get to sleep, this can often cause problems. In this situation it is teaching the child to fall asleep initially (ie at bed time) which is the key.

Cash-Cow_3

Never did stair gates or locks on kitchen cupboards. Guess that made me a bad parent.

thorsoak

When our children were young, we also had a dog that could open doors, and open safety gates - which meant that he could let the children go wherever they wanted - and they soon learned that if they said "out" to Simba, then Simba would open whatever door they wanted - so we had to find a way to contain the dog before we could concentrate on training the children to stay in their own beds.

We achieved this by using hooks and eye latches - at the top of all doors - and we placed them on both sides of the door - so that we could shut ourselves in/shut the kitchen door so small children couldn't get in (and Simba couldn't get out). We also used one on baby's door the day that we found 3 year old hauling 7 month old baby sister out of cot "cos she was cwying and wanted to come to me" .....in the time it took for me to wake, up, judge that she wasn't going to drop off back to sleep - big bro was there!