How to stop 2 year old coming into mum and dad's room at night?

daska

this is what I found with DS1, after about age 2 he wanted to be in his own bed. DS2 was a trial though, we'd get a spate of nights when he'd sleep through, maybe 3 on the trot every 3 months or so. The rest of the time he'd be awake until 3.30 or sleep for a maximum of 4 hours and then be screaming. Thankfully we found the trigger, though it was quite by accident, I stuck a hat on him when the heating broke and we've not had a broken night since unless he's genuinely ill or we forget to use it. 6pm to 7am or later usually, just shows how strong an effect a sensory processing disorder can have.

Savvy_Sue

Two words: Toddler Taming.

Well, adding a few: excellent book by Christopher Green, a qualified doctor who writes from his own personal experience. And he describes his own should-be-patented rope trip for confining young children to their bedrooms: you pretty much tie the door shut enough to stop them getting out, but not so shut that they can't hear you / get your attention.

He also describes the time when he didn't get the length of the rope quite right, and one of his sons got his head STUCK in the gap. :rotfl:

Also worth remembering that HVs will - and can - only give you general advice / the latest thinking. It may or not be right for YOUR child. Obviously some children will feel 'trapped' by the stairgate, and some children will just hate their bedrooms anyway. But I don't believe that DS1 was traumatised by me using a playpen from time to time (open plan ground floor) ...

Another bit of wisdom from Christopher Green: he used to think that children would get as much sleep as they needed, but then he realised that actually, they don't. So it is worth dealing with sleep problems sooner rather than later.

joeblack066

I was horrified to hear of a 2 year old the other day who had smashed stuff in the kitchen, climbed up on the worktop and dragged things out of a cupboard, and tried to microwave something- all in the middle of the night. Parents found it funny. Not making that child safe is neglect imo. End of. Safety gates, whatever it took. I would not allow that child to roam around in the night!

notanewuser

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Two words: Toddler Taming.

Well, adding a few: excellent book by Christopher Green, a qualified doctor who writes from his own personal experience. And he describes his own should-be-patented rope trip for confining young children to their bedrooms: you pretty much tie the door shut enough to stop them getting out, but not so shut that they can't hear you / get your attention.

He also describes the time when he didn't get the length of the rope quite right, and one of his sons got his head STUCK in the gap. :rotfl:

Also worth remembering that HVs will - and can - only give you general advice / the latest thinking. It may or not be right for YOUR child. Obviously some children will feel 'trapped' by the stairgate, and some children will just hate their bedrooms anyway. But I don't believe that DS1 was traumatised by me using a playpen from time to time (open plan ground floor) ...

Another bit of wisdom from Christopher Green: he used to think that children would get as much sleep as they needed, but then he realised that actually, they don't. So it is worth dealing with sleep problems sooner rather than later.

I hate the idea that toddlers need "taming".

I think tying their door shut is worse than using a safety gate, frankly.

Reminds me of something my parents told me. Once DD learned to stand she would wake many times in the night to try our her new skill, and then sleep all day. Somebody suggested a sleeping bag would make it harder for her. Nope. My dad then told me that I was exactly the same, but the sleeping bag I had had ties on it so that it could be secured to the cot, stopping me from rolling over or standing up. This was something they bought. Can you imagine if somebody suggested that now?

onlyroz

I've had this with my two. You just keep putting them back in bed with no eye contact. Even if you have to do it 500 times every night for a week they'll get the idea in the end.

emsywoo123

onlyroz wrote: »

I've had this with my two. You just keep putting them back in bed with no eye contact. Even if you have to do it 500 times every night for a week they'll get the idea in the end.

This. When DS went from cot to bed, it took 2 nights, probably 5 times the first night and twice the second. He has slept through since.

zaksmum

onlyroz wrote: »

I've had this with my two. You just keep putting them back in bed with no eye contact. Even if you have to do it 500 times every night for a week they'll get the idea in the end.

I just saw an old episode of Supernanny and this is pretty much what she says will work.

Mum and Dad are just going to have to keep returning him to bed without comment or eye contact as many times as it takes.

The idea of a kid still coming into mum and dad's room at the ages of 10 and 12 just horrifies me.:eek:

emsywoo123

zaksmum wrote: »

I just saw an old episode of Supernanny and this is pretty much what she says will work.

Mum and Dad are just going to have to keep returning him to bed without comment or eye contact as many times as it takes.

The idea of a kid still coming into mum and dad's room at the ages of 10 and 12 just horrifies me.:eek:

Best advice I could offer is consistency. Don't give up at 3am when they're knackered and just want to stay in bed

gizmodo_2

lindseykim13 wrote: »

wow harsh on the kid imo, i have 3 children and they all came in at some point in the night until they outgrew it around about age 4. Whats so wrong with him sleeping with his mum and dad for a few hours? My 3.5yr old dd comes in about 3-4 in the morning gets in the middle and sleeps. No way am i getting into a fight with a tot that time of the morning! Getting the sleep for all of them is the most important thing.
Each to their own but the kids only 2 he wants the comfort of his parents.
And they do grow out of it-my 10 and 8yr old have slept fine on their own since around 4. It's normal!

I don't think it's harsh. I don't get much sleep when DD comes in our bed. While OH and DD sleep soundly and deeply, I however get kicked in the tummy, back and boobs and whacked in the face as her arm flies over....I can't stand it! Don't mind a cuddle in bed in the morning, but not when I'm sleeping.

We've been tackling the issue of her coming in our bed the last couple of weeks. We've tried a Gro clock and it's working well. The earliest she's come into bed for a nearly a week is 6am which is massive progress on midnight. I've found she's also been in a fantastic mood and can't help but think she's getting a much better quality nights sleep too.

pigpen

zaksmum wrote: »

The idea of a kid still coming into mum and dad's room at the ages of 10 and 12 just horrifies me.:eek:

My brother didn't even go in his own bed until he was 13. It did ensure he would remain the youngest.

Mine outgrew bed hogging by about 3 or 4.. I wish my 2 would sleep in my bed it would save many many nights sitting dozing on the sofa while they run amok until they crash in a heap on the floor, I've not had a full nights sleep in 2 years.

I wouldn't care where they slept so long as they do so I can.

He is only little and just needs reassurance his mum and dad are still there. It isn't an issue in the day and he won't understand why it is not ok just because it is dark outside. So long as he snuggles in and goes to sleep I don't think it is or should be an issue.

As a child I slept in cupboards mainly, I felt exposed in bed and was convinced sommething would attack me, I still have thoughts of rats nibbling my toes if they poke out of the bed or waking to find someone trying to murder me..