Uncommitted partner

Hannah_10

AngUK I have seriously considered asking you for a photo of that bloke of yours, clearly he and my one were secret twins who were separated at birth. You could be describing mine. In my house it goes like this.
Him: What's for dinner.
Me: The last of the pork chops, that broccoli in the fridge and some stuff from the freezer. Why, are you hungry?
Him: A bit yeah.
Me: I'll be about 20 minutes and I'll get the food on then.
Him: I'll just nip up to Tescos (10 mins drive away- each way). :wall:

Ms Hoarder that doesn't work either, he has his disposable income but I also am expecting at least half of the swimming to come out of that. It wont. You just know it wont. You just know already that next week I'll be putting up the entire of my spendables and some from the food budget to find it - again. Because he wont play ball.

Ilona I like the way you/ your Mum think! I think I am going to turn round to him tonight and hit him with the cold reality of this one... His business is struggling, and he's reluctant to make any of the big changes I keep pressing for, he wants to just wait for it to pick up, I think it wont. I shall lay the law down that either I run my house (it is mine too) and he runs his business, or we both run both and that means I'm starting by gutting his workplace- to the bare walls. He will have a meltdown! I bet I win then!

McKneff

life is too short to worry about 4 eggs

BitterAndTwisted

Honestly, I don't think it's worth having an argument about. I expect those eggs can wait to be used in the next week or so, they keep for yonks. Just do the float-test to check whether they're fresh enough.

Sometimes the best policy is just not to be drawn into a discussion about meals and menus: you just get on with preparing whatever it is that you have planned and put it in front of your OH.

I'm not married and haven't lived with a partner since before the Flood as I expect you can tell......

Bronnie

Every sympathy for you OP, I know how hard it is when it's hard when you're not all pulling together over things.

Hannah_10 wrote: »

In my house it goes like this.
Him: What's for dinner.
Me: The last of the pork chops, that broccoli in the fridge and some stuff from the freezer. Why, are you hungry?

QUOTE]

Hmm!

Try:
Him: What's for dinner?
You: Mmmm! Pan fried pork chops with apple and a honey and mustard glaze, little roasted new potatoes and steamed broccoli followed by Chocolate Surprise (chocolate ice cream from the freezer with a squeeze of sauce and some nuts from the cupboard) or something like that .....you get my drift!

Some "stuff" from the freezer wouldn't get my taste buds going either! I'd probably have bread and cheese instead!



After 25 years as chief cook and bottle washer for my family and trying to eat well but on a budget, I mostly just cook for myself now. You know what? I would now HATE not to be able to eat exactly what I choose and when I choose! That's not to say eating extravagently, just along the lines of being given a sandwich when I fancied a salad etc etc.

Still, I'm feeling after all those years, I've earned the right to be self-indulgent!

System

My sympathies. Every week my husband moans about the cost of the groceries and every week i remind him that £30 of that is on his fags.

Hannah_10

It's not about 4 eggs, it's about a fiver. A fiver two, three, four, five times a week. It's about that he wont live in a way that suits the means he has and he expects me to tailor every other aspect of life to fit the fact that he is too selfish to consider the consequences of the £80-£100 a month that regularly gets wasted in throwing out perfectly good food to purchase food from outside catering. The £34 a month we always struggle to find for babys swimming would be no issue at all and we'd both have a loads of pocket money if he would just think oaccasionally. But he doesn't think. He expects me to think for him, in spite of him, and for me to somehow make £xx cover £xxx as if by magic! If he wants to live like he earns too much to notice what he spends, then he will actually have to START earning so much he doesn't have to. For now, that he lives at all, is only because in spite of his best efforts to self-sabbotage I am somehow keeping everything together.

Rummer

I have to admit that my OH is not too bad and usually eats what is put down in front of him but we are both bad at keeping the cost of food down in the house. Food is our main indulgence and we spend far too much on it.

ALIBOBSY

My hubby was simular, he loves his shopping-he evens take the kids clothes shopping lol.

I got him into the whoppsies and reduced items and he now knows the time/day every shop local to us does reductions and takes immense pleasure in coming home with a bag of "goodies" for not very much. This is where my freezer and creative planning come in-he came home with a load of carrot and potato mash the other day each one reduced to 20p. A load of those covent garden soups and the chiller section "tub" soups all 10p. So bargains would we never use them that day so they go in the freezer. Those soups are fab because you can microwave them from frozen. OH can take one out in the morning and put it in the fridge at work. By lunch it will have partly defrosted and he can stick it in the microwave to warm up.

OH also seems to pick up those treats the kids love but are expensive when they add up, came home with a bag of various doughnuts the other dayand sometimes its bagels/croissants/pain chocolate/danishes etc stuff that very often can last a few days after the sell by date anyway. We love these and I can cook them from scratch (love baking), but he gets them so cheap and the kids and him see it as an extra treat, whereas when I bake its just expected somehow lol.

Its about giving him an outlet for his love for shopping without costs spiralling. I aim in my weekly budget to do one big weekly shop and allow some cash for him to get his extras. Some of these bargains save money on later weeks so it all balances out and he and the kids get that thrill when they get me to look at all the bargains they have hunted down-a bit like crimbo bringing out gift after gift rofl.

The eggs won't waste the use by on eggs is rubbish, my chickens don't lsy them with a date on use the water test. Boiled eggs will keep a couple of days in the fridge anyway or you could bake something which could be sweet treats for a few days and/or some frozen-cakes freeze really well and can be taken out in the morning and will defrost by lunch if in small peices like a tray bake.

Plus why are you "paying" for the lessons surely it should be a joint thing? My Oh jokes that the pay goes in and I whip most of the cash away to other accounts/to pay bills before he gets to see a penny. If OH can't or won't budget perhaps you should. I tried to show OH all the bills etc, but he works and I am at home with the kids and he is happy for me to hold the reins as long as he can have the odd treat and a small amount of cash ie 10-20 per week-he mostly spends this on us anyway lol. Perhaps if he sees how much the bills are he will get more on board, my Oh for one was shocked how much things are and how the bills add up.
If he just sees it as moaning he will dig his feet in (don't they all), but if you explain the plan eg so much put away for the lessons each week leaving x amount for food he will get it.
ali x

charlies-aunt

Yes - another one here! Frustrating s*d but wouldn't be without him!

For a snack - he'll scoff a full tin of tuna - won't make a sandwich with it cos he's "not that hungry"

HM cakes are lovely but not very money saving when OH & DD can scoff one between them as 'dessert'

Fortunately we live miles from the shops - by the time we have driven to the nearest chippy its quicker to bung oven chips in for a quick tea

purpleivy

I must be lucky, as it doesn't matter what I put on the table, it is always eaten with relish (LOL or chutney, hot sauce, ketchup, mayo!) and I'm thanked. Every night by ds and dh. Even if it's egg beans and toast or jacket potatoes cheese and beans.