Uncommitted partner

belfastgirl23

I agree wiht other posters about the need to take it gently. My OH was not keen at the start and still isn't keen in principle but understands in practice the need for it. I have been trying to get on with OS reasonably quietly to be honest and he has really been enjoying the meals etc, I just try not to go on about it too much and he would have no clue about what our budget is etc. I am having to compromise on some elements such as eating out at least once a week, yes it's nice but it does feel like a lot of money.

The other thing that has *helped* us is that we were hit with a huge increase in our gas direct debit and in our rates which I have managed to absorb into the household budget without increasing the money either of us put into this. About a month in he got really grumpy about buying tesco value stuff and I got totally p****d off and told him that either we cut back on spending money on stupid things that we don't really get any pleasure from (basics like milk where we don't taste the difference) or we had to divert more money into the joint account that could be spent on things we enjoy. It was really not nice at the time but he did come around over the next couple of days and now he's mostly fine.

My other compromise is that we still go to M&S. If I were doing things entirely my way I think we could have our food spending budget down a lot more but I've had to make some accommodations on this. You need to gently examine boundaries and see which ones 'give' and which ones don't I think

Good luck!

daysieblue

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

My other compromise is that we still go to M&S. If I were doing things entirely my way I think we could have our food spending budget down a lot more but I've had to make some accommodations on this. You need to gently examine boundaries and see which ones 'give' and which ones don't I think

I would agree with this. DH seems to have this total mental block about Asda etc, and so we do all our shopping either at Sainsburys or Ocado. I'm slowly chipping away and I plan to shop on my own at Asda some time soon, and I'm hoping that when I do he will just accept it! (His main argument actually is distance, 5 mins in car to Sainsburys, 20 to Asda, says the savings on shopping would be eaten up by the petrol.)

jovichick123

My OH was suspicious of OS, he doesn't like the idea of meal planning at all (so I just meal plan what we are having and tell him about 5 mins before its served lol)... his main complaint was that he thought if he knew what he was having for tea every night, it would take the element of suprise out of it. Like I said, now I don't tell him until it's too late for him to say no (not that he has so far). I also try to incorporate one 'last minute' meal for him a week (that way he doesn't feel like he's missing out on choosing what to eat). Luckily, he has liked everything we have had since we changed to OS and now he's very supportive (except with meal planning, which will probably never change lol)

angelavdavis

I think my OH's OS lightbulb moment was when I managed to find him cheaper contents insurance, electricity and gas and reduced his grocery bill by £150 per month through meal planning, home-making, slow cooking and bread making!

Suddenly he had over £200 extra in his bank account every month.

I then started growing veg in earnest which meant our grocery bill went to about £30 a month last summer!

To top it all, he also lost half a stone because he wasn't eating ready meal rubbish!!!

So he now puts up with my "potty" oldstyle moneysaving ways!!! Recently, I found him on the mortgage overpayment calculator site seeing what he could save if he overpaid his mortgage.

He's a convert!!!!:rotfl:

Herbaholic

Miss_Kitty_Fantastico wrote: »

my problem is like moneysavingsapphire is that i get so excited about ms and os that i do his head lol

Me to! :rotfl: I think I drive my poor hubby nuts when I tell him how much I've saved and what I did in great detail, I think I do it to prove it to myself more than anything, sometimes I can't believe it! I probs am being boring but as it becomes second nature it will probs not be so important to tell him what I'm doing as he'll be able to see the results!

There is another way of looking at it though, you're saving money and getting a buzz from it, ask your partner if he'd sooner you be like that, or be waxing lyrical about yet another pair of shoes that you don't need (don't add the don't need bit though ) Surely it's better to be saving money than wasting it?

Keep feeding him tasty goodies and once weaned occasionally give him the ready meals, he'll soon be onside They do say that the way to a mans heart is through his stomach, I've found it works on his brain sometimes to :rotfl: You could also try pointing out if you don't look after the pennies to ensure there are always spare pounds, he may end up living like a hard up student again!

Moneybubbles

daysieblue wrote: »

I would agree with this. DH seems to have this total mental block about Asda etc, and so we do all our shopping either at Sainsburys or Ocado. I'm slowly chipping away and I plan to shop on my own at Asda some time soon, and I'm hoping that when I do he will just accept it! (His main argument actually is distance, 5 mins in car to Sainsburys, 20 to Asda, says the savings on shopping would be eaten up by the petrol.)

Same here!! Though I go shopping by myself now so he has no choice, again as the others drive him mad on all my money saving ideas LOL

But we've cleared the credit card this month:T :j so that will make a huge difference so saving will start to build up now (and my shoe cupboard!)

xM

allIcouldwishfor

For me, trying to be more OS has meant that I cook once or twice a week, portion it all up and sling it in the freezer, then I can give OH a choice of whatever meals are there so he doesn't feel hard done by. This works better for us than me cooking every day as it's ready a lot quicker than it would be me cooking it from scratch once he's decided what he fancies.

Also, if we're having a HM curry, he can still get his onion bhaji from the restaurant up the road so he still feels like he's having "takeaway"!

beemuzed

My DH isn't really a convert to OS or MSE generally which is a bit worrying as when I retire in two years or so there's going to be a lot of downsizing to his lifestyle unless a few changes come in now! Funnily enough he does the cooking, mostly from scratch -but if he wants expensive ingredients he'll get them! However, I am gradually making a few changes but I'm learning not to go on about them - very counter-productive! We'll get there, and who knows, he may become as addicted to this site one day as I am fast becoming! Then a bit is bound to rub off on him. Well, here's hoping!

daysieblue

As part of my chipping away process I have now persuaded DH to set a £200 grocery budget for the next 4 weeks, which we are going to do by drawing out the cash when I get paid tomorrow and going shopping with this cash only, and a shopping list He then suggested (which I thought was very OS of him) that for one week only we should have two trolleys, one which would be full of my list, and the other which will contain the stuff that we didn't list, but would (according to our usual shopping practice) normally go in the trolley anyway. We would then have a very graphic demonstration of how much we "waste".

trulymadlydeeply_indebt!

Blimey - I'm reading this thread and laughing my socks off. My OH is also bored to death with me going on about how the other day I watched my bread rise in the oven! LOL.

I'm reasonably intelligent and KNOW that I should keep my trap shut about OS, meal plans, budgets etc., but I simply can't shut up coz (shouts from rooftops) I'M DEAD PROUD OF MYSELF and I'm sure you all are about yourselves too!

Don't you think it's funny how much we have to "mother" our OH's? I've got 2 kids under 5 and thought that my "weaning" days were over, but I have to say that OH is by far the most difficult "baby" yet!

Men - don't you just love 'em!