Council Tax Support 500% increase in Council Tax - not so supportive

ab.da54

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

I am all for ideas and advice but I really do find it unacceptable when posters start telling people "they should move" as a solution, this is clearly a last resort for anyone and they don't really need telling.

That's not really true though, mysterywoman, because when someone offers advice - which doesn't include telling them to move, you claim they are patronising, and make sarcastic comments in return to helpful advice for someone else. Here's just one example:

ab.da54 wrote: »

Does your daughter visit you?

Perhaps you could do alternate weeks, where you visit your daughter one week, she visits you the next, which will help save some money. Not ideal but perhaps looking for ways now that will make the current situation more workable until perhaps the housing benefit decision is reversed - if it ever is.

Hopefully your father in law's stay in hospital will not be a long one

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

Well it didn't take long Nanny for the "advice" to be handed out!

It's just soooooooooooooooooo patronising to speak to another adult like this, as if Nanny can't work this out for herself!!!

Obviously she will HAVE to make do what other choice is there?!

As you say Nanny they just don't get it!

ab.da54

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

Ah right - I get it. You don't want solutions on how to deal with your benefit cuts. But moaning won't help you cut your cloth accordingly. Nor will wishing the benefit cuts aren't coming in, because they are.

There are plenty of ideas on this site; but I guess you don't want to hear those either?

Sometimes you just have to face reality.

I agree MissMoneypenny

Some people don't want any advice, ideas or solutions to this imminenet problem. They prefer instead to whine and complain rather than proactively look for solutions.

mysterywoman10

ab.da54 I was going to move on from it and I'm sorry if you thought I was rude to you BUT

I knew that by giving Nanny advice when specifically she had said in the post before people will start telling me to stay in etc. that is exactly what happened. That it would then degenerate and others would jump in. I wasn't not defending her either it was more exsaperation that it would then go off on a tangent, she is more than capable of defending herself I do know that.

I don't like people giving "unsolicited" advice to clarify the poiint you are making above my answer to Moneypenny was on a different point altogether.

I really do agree with you on one point that the Beneftis board goes off on a tangent and if people don't want advice etc. BUT that is what happens in discussions and it is poorly moderated. So unless someone complains the threads remain.

So again if I offended you I apologise but I think it is best to move on rather than keep going back to things to make a point of "you were wrong I was right".

DanE2010

ab.da54 wrote: »

I agree MissMoneypenny

Some people don't want any advice, ideas or solutions to this imminenet problem. They prefer instead to whine and complain rather than proactively look for solutions.

As said is it gets on your nerves why reply? She has been given 'advice' on loads of threads in the past few weeks do you not think by now she is sick of people offering suggestions already suggested? For example someone in this thread asked why she hasnt learned Braile, ive seen her answer in another thread a few times, if someone kept asking me the same questions id find it patronising too. Im sure you mean well im not having a go but all these posts picking apart her life choices isnt doing anyone any good is it?

DanE2010

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

ab.da54 I was going to move on from it and I'm sorry if you thought I was rude to you BUT

I knew that by giving Nanny advice when specifically she had said in the post before people will start telling me to stay in etc. that is exactly what happened. That it would then degenerate and others would jump in. I wasn't not defending her either it was more exsaperation that it would then go off on a tangent, she is more than capable of defending herself I do know that.

I don't like people giving "unsolicited" advice to clarify the poiint you are making above my answer to Moneypenny was on a different point altogether.

I really do agree with you on one point that the Beneftis board goes off on a tangent and if people don't want advice etc. BUT that is what happens in discussions and it is poorly moderated. So unless someone complains the threads remain.

So again if I offended you I apologise but I think it is best to move on rather than keep going back to things to make a point of "you were wrong I was right".

well put, thats what I was trying to say lol

ab.da54

DanE2010 wrote: »

As said is it gets on your nerves why reply? She has been given 'advice' on loads of threads in the past few weeks do you not think by now she is sick of people offering suggestions already suggested? For example someone in this thread asked why she hasnt learned Braile, ive seen her answer in another thread a few times, if someone kept asking me the same questions id find it patronising too. Im sure you mean well im not having a go but all these posts picking apart her life choices isnt doing anyone any good is it?

I haven't continued to respond. I placed nannytone on ignore last night following your comments. Not because it gets on my nerves, as it doesn't, but because it detracts from threads and nannytone makes a good enough job of making the threads about her as it is.

I haven't read lots of threads and don't know what nannytone has been asked before now. My suggestions were made in good faith but, I have now placed nannytone on ignore so I will not be part of the cause of derailing threads for other people.

mysterywoman10

I'm sure your suggestions were made in good faith I do not doubt that which is why I apologise to you because I think you just appeared a the wrong moment probably for the reasons you give above x

And yes she is a "character"

How does the ignore button work then? Do you not see the posts from that person?

ab.da54

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

ab.da54 I was going to move on from it and I'm sorry if you thought I was rude to you BUT

I knew that by giving Nanny advice when specifically she had said in the post before people will start telling me to stay in etc. that is exactly what happened. That it would then degenerate and others would jump in. I wasn't not defending her either it was more exsaperation that it would then go off on a tangent, she is more than capable of defending herself I do know that.

I don't like people giving "unsolicited" advice to clarify the poiint you are making above my answer to Moneypenny was on a different point altogether.

I really do agree with you on one point that the Beneftis board goes off on a tangent and if people don't want advice etc. BUT that is what happens in discussions and it is poorly moderated. So unless someone complains the threads remain.

So again if I offended you I apologise but I think it is best to move on rather than keep going back to things to make a point of "you were wrong I was right".

This forum is for advice and even nanytone will offer advice to others that they have not specifically asked for, because that is the purpose of this forum.

Many a time, you will jump in and you jumped in, making sarcastic comments to a perfectly valid suggestion.

It was not about nannytone staying in the house. She had already said she was out and about all day, every day. Putting nannytone aside, at the moment, these changes are coming in and people need to find the shortfall. It's not always fair, it's not going to be easy but how can someone claim they want support on the one hand, then on the other complain when someone offers suggestions. People are going to have to make changes - changes they don't want to make, until these new rules are reversed [if they can be reversed].

The comment yesterday could have been handled differently but by you juming in, it went down a different path. Now, it's easy for you to say it's because of others, but it was a post genuinely trying to look at where money could be saved.

It's done now and I have placed nannytone on ignore so that I am not the reason threads go off on a tangent but perhaps you need to view how you post and see where you derail threads for no other reason than making sarcastic comments and constantly jumping in to defend people against something they need no defending from.

ab.da54

mysterywoman10 wrote: »

I'm sure your suggestions were made in good faith I do not doubt that which is why I apologise to you because I think you just appeared a the wrong moment probably for the reasons you give above x

And yes she is a "character"

How does the ignore button work then? Do you not see the posts from that person?

I do accept your apology - thank you.

When you place someone on ignore, you cannot see their posts unless someone else quotes them. I have nothing against nannytone and hope she finds a way to sort these charges so that it doesn't impact on her life too much. The ignore means I will not derail any threads by responding and although I could just not respond, sometimes it is just human nature so the ignore function is a better option.

mysterywoman10

Sorry but I may be very blunt but I'm not sarcastic it is a question of interpretation and that is the problem when people communicate via the written word.

Many times is also some what an exaggeration it happened once before and that is why I did not respond last night or get involved further until it was bought up again this morning.

We crossed in the post above btw thanks for the explanation although I can see what you mean about the ignore button it could also lead to a lot of confusion so I probably would not use it.