16 year old possibly dropping out of college

Joons

RAS wrote: »

They cannot claimn CB unless he is signed on with Connexions and co-operating with them. CB is for children in education; when he leaves education, it ends.

And they then can lose WTC, CTC if they have them although the LHA would remain the same.

Not so sure about them losing WTC or CTC, I also think boys mature at a much slower rate so at 16 they're still pretty immature and definitely still need their mummy!

Kanichen

Have to say I think this thread is pretty harsh so far. Further Education is not for everyone and so many fall into the A Level trap because it is expected of them (and don't even get me start on the farce that is university...)

Your son has obviously discovered that further education is not for him. That's fine. Sit down and ask him what he wants to do, I am sure the answer won't be 'sit on my butt' - although it might possibly be 'I don't know'.

My DH dropped out of college half way through his first year. He did the various pub/chip shop/supermarket jobs and then signed up with an agency for office temp work. After about 8 months of various temp jobs he got a permanent office role and within 4 years of being there was promoted to a management role. Not many 22 year old managers in offices!

Dropping out of college does not make him a failure or lazy - it just means he is going to find a different path. He could train as a plumber/electrician/decorator etc etc or go into retail and work his way up the chain - limitless options.

duchy

It sounds like he's totally unmotivated or daunted by his A level choices -possibly worked out he has no motivation to do X Y and Z a-levels but doesn't know what he wants to do instead. If you were very keen on A levels could he maybe not have properly investigated NVQs ?

Does he have any particular ambition or type of career in mind ? Or is he like a lot of 16 year olds and not got any firm direction yet ?

Treevo

Joons wrote: »

Not so sure about them losing WTC or CTC, I also think boys mature at a much slower rate so at 16 they're still pretty immature and definitely still need their mummy!

Only if you infantilise them. At 16 they should be more than capable of looking after themselves and applying themselves at school or college.

suki1001

Kanichen wrote: »

Have to say I think this thread is pretty harsh so far. Further Education is not for everyone and so many fall into the A Level trap because it is expected of them (and don't even get me start on the farce that is university...)

Your son has obviously discovered that further education is not for him. That's fine. Sit down and ask him what he wants to do, I am sure the answer won't be 'sit on my butt' - although it might possibly be 'I don't know'.

My DH dropped out of college half way through his first year. He did the various pub/chip shop/supermarket jobs and then signed up with an agency for office temp work. After about 8 months of various temp jobs he got a permanent office role and within 4 years of being there was promoted to a management role. Not many 22 year old managers in offices!

Dropping out of college does not make him a failure or lazy - it just means he is going to find a different path. He could train as a plumber/electrician/decorator etc etc or go into retail and work his way up the chain - limitless options.

Absolutely agree with this. It was the problem I had. I discovered my a level choices were wrong for the course I wanted to do. Once you get behind and into a mess, it's sometimes very difficult to see a way out and not bury your head in the sand.

I didn't really know what I wanted to do which was a big problem, so I ended up just getting part time jobs. Perhaps help him plan his essays, or help him find some courses he might be more interested in doing, where there is a practical element too.

If he doesn't find a direction, it's going to make it very difficult.

bodmil

RAS wrote: »

I would suggest that rather than trying to discuss, you lay it on the line in as few words as possible.

I would also go for this approach, you've said there's little transport and employment where you live so he doesn't have a choice but to sort his education out. Ask him where he wants to be in 10 years time and how his current behaviour is part of the plan to get there? Tell him your own goals and how your extra education now is going to help yourselves get there, give him something to aspire to.

Forget benefits, this is his life that he's giving up not, not a few bob.

bitemebankers

Treevo wrote: »

Only if you infantilise them. At 16 they should be more than capable of looking after themselves and applying themselves at school or college.

Complete rubbish, and a depressingly English attitude at that.

The reality is, most people have strong ties to their immediate family and friends until they're in their 20s. The UK is one of the few countries where we expect teenagers to grow up far too quickly, in all sorts of ways. The upshot is, our teenagers have the worst mental health of any in the developed world.

Reading between the lines, it sounds like this lad has been something of an outcast at school, and has probably had a completely miserable time for the last few years. Now, things are finally looking up socially and he's trying to make the best of that, at the expense of work. The fact that he got into college in the first place suggests he's not inherently lazy, and just needs pointing in the right direction. Certainly not the kind of aggressive nonsense posted upthread.

Person_one

bitemebankers wrote: »

Reading between the lines, it sounds like this lad has been something of an outcast at school, and has probably had a completely miserable time for the last few years. Now, things are finally looking up socially and he's trying to make the best of that, at the expense of work. The fact that he got into college in the first place suggests he's not inherently lazy, and just needs pointing in the right direction. Certainly not the kind of aggressive nonsense posted upthread.

I agree that this is probably the biggest issue, if he's got friends and a social life for the first time at 16, then that will be all consuming as he's never learned how to balance it with study before. At that age things like alcohol, relationships and big parties loom large as well which can be incredibly distracting. I was a massive swot all through school but even I got a full grade less on all my A levels than I would have done if I hadn't met an older boyfriend with a car and a flat.

I don't think micro managing him and completely taking over is the answer here, it might get him through the year but it won't do him any good long term. Whatever path he chooses he is at the age where he needs to start being able to motivate himself and get stuff done without parents or teachers constantly pushing him to. The next step will be either university or a full time job and he'll sink like a stone in both of those if he's still reliant on 'adults' dragging him along.

I agree with the posters who suggest a good long talk about what he actually wants to do and where his real strengths lie. What is he good at? What is he interested in? How does he want to spend his days? Then figure out what the best course for him is, whether that's A levels or something more vocational.

Good luck.

[Deleted User]

silvermist05 wrote: »

My 16 year old started a levels in september however he has made no effort to do anywork and has just informed me that he has recieved unclassified in all exams he sat in January. To say I'm upset is an understatement. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? We will be contacting the college tommorow but I'm afraid he will be kicked out which makes sense if he dosen't want to be there. If he does leave college I don't see what else he can do there are no jobs in the local area.

Is that what they mean when they say they "dropped out of college" today? :eek:

What next? 'Sacked' becomes 'opted for voluntary redundancy' ?

I know 'incarcerated' has often otherwise been known as 'housed at Her Majesty's pleasure' but come on, pur-lease...
:cool:

Joons

Treevo wrote: »

Only if you infantilise them. At 16 they should be more than capable of looking after themselves and applying themselves at school or college.

Some 16 year old boys might be able to look after themselves, my experience is they can't, don't want to and are still very child like. They can certainly apply themselves to school or college but I'm talking about expecting a 16 year old to be booted out the house during the day, to do what exactly, I don't know!