16 year old possibly dropping out of college

silvermist05

My 16 year old started a levels in september however he has made no effort to do anywork and has just informed me that he has recieved unclassified in all exams he sat in January. To say I'm upset is an understatement. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? We will be contacting the college tommorow but I'm afraid he will be kicked out which makes sense if he dosen't want to be there. If he does leave college I don't see what else he can do there are no jobs in the local area.

pigpen

Then he will have to get a job.. there are always jobs and without any expenses (car/house/bills etc) a very low paid job will do.. the jobs adults cannot survive on.

He should be kicked out if he is taking a place another grateful student could use.

My middle son has learning difficulties and manages to go to college 4 days a week. My daughter has a baby and manages to go to college.. he has no excuse other than his own laziness.

Please don't make excuses for him or let him do nothing and you pay his way it does them no good at all.. foot firmly up his backside!

(((hugs))) for you.. parenting is never an easy job and sometimes you have to draw the hard line.

spacey2012

All benefits, tax credits, family allowance stop the day he leaves.
To be honest if you are receiving any benefits for him and he is that idle, make him get up and go every day and only allow him to leave when he finds a job and can pay the shortfall in board.
Tough love puts kids on the path, I know I have had these battles that make you go in to a room and fall in despair, puff your chest up and go out and dish out the line.
As years have passed, they do thank you when they have jobs and lives.

System

My kids were given the option, work or college. My middle son didnt want to do either but it was non negotiable if he wanted to continue to live at home.

Dont give him the option of dropping out of college until he's found a job though. If he's determined to leave and he has no genuine reason for leaving tell him he had better find somewhere else to live. He'll soon find he has very little option but carrying on.

TimBear

One of my biggest regrets was not trying in lower sixth and dropping out with mediocre results after only one year. Eight years later, I'm now applying to go to college for an access to higher education course so I can make something of myself. Menial jobs have driven me insane!

In fairness, I've earned good money in my sales role, but it's by no means what I want to do forever. I kick myself that I'm going through all this now (and will be paying c. £3,500 for my access course), when I could've just carried on with one more year at sixth form and have been fully qualified in my chosen career already for a few years by now.

silvermist05

Thank you both. I don't want to be making excuses for him but there really are no jobs in the local area, public transport is almost non excistent and myself and hubby both work full time so wouldn't be able to help with transport. I just want him to finish his a levels and come out with a qualification but I just don't know what to say to him to get him to put in the effort.

System

but I just don't know what to say to him to get him to put in the effort.

You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink.:(

TimBear

silvermist05 wrote: »

Thank you both. I don't want to be making excuses for him but there really are no jobs in the local area, public transport is almost non excistent and myself and hubby both work full time so wouldn't be able to help with transport. I just want him to finish his a levels and come out with a qualification but I just don't know what to say to him to get him to put in the effort.

I hope I don't get shot down in flames here, but would a bit of bribery work? Not sure what, perhaps money towards driving lessons when he turns 17 or something similar, whatever you could afford or want to offer?

19lottie82

What do you provide for him now, in terms of non-essentials? i.e. mobile phone, lifts, clothes, pocket money, treats in the food cupboard?

You need to sit him down and tell him that if he insists of dropping out of college because he won’t make the effort to do any work then he MUST get a job and pay his own way. If he can’t get a job, which from what you have described, is the most likely outcome, then all of the above will stop, and his life will not be very pleasant at all.

Make sure he knows that you mean it, and if it comes down to it, carry the threat out.
If he DOES drop out and you carry the threat out, I’m sure he will realise that life isn’t so peachy outside of college / work, and will jump at the chance to re-enrol after the Summer.

JimmyTheWig

silvermist05 wrote: »

there really are no jobs in the local area

Do people have cars? He could wash them.
Do people have lawns? He could mow them for them.

public transport is almost non excistent

Almost means there is some. If he's got no school work to do then it doesn't matter if it takes him an hour and a half to get to work. He's got no bills to pay (other than bed and board) and no benefits to lose so it doesn't matter if he spends 80% of his wages on travel.
Of course, there's always the option of walking.

I just want him to finish his a levels and come out with a qualification but I just don't know what to say to him to get him to put in the effort.

The only way is to demonstrate that doing this is better than the alternative.
He could be out of the house from 7:30am until 7:00pm (90 minute journey and working 9 till half 5) and have no money to show for it at the end of the day because it is all used on transport and bed and board.
Or he could get stuck in to his A levels.
I know which I would choose, even if I didn't like the A levels and didn't understand how important they were.

silvermist05

Thanks I have tried bribery it just dosen't work. To be honest apart from a mobile contract he dosen't get much. He's never had many friends so never asked for things however since going to college he has come out of himself and is now socialising with friends, this is the main reason that I don't want him to drop out. I know if he loses these friends and dosen't get a job he will become a recluse and I don't want that for him.