16 year old possibly dropping out of college

Joons

Treevo wrote: »

Then you remove his option of dropping out. He leaves the house when you do and doesn't get let back in until you return. He gets an hour supervised internet usage for job seeking and his phone is taken away from him and replaced with a £10 cheap PAYG handset that can be used for job seeking and emergencies only.

He spends his weekends doing work around the house to pay for his keep and he gets nothing from you at all.

When faced with that reality, I'm sure he'll soon buck his ideas up and start fulfilling his educational obligations.

He's 16, still a kid, I think that's extremely harsh. So when parents are at work all day, he gets tossed out to do what exactly, wander the streets until evening with no money, I doubt any parent would do this to a 16 year old.

19lottie82

Joons wrote: »

He's 16, still a kid, I think that's extremely harsh.

In regards to the locking him out of the house all day, me too. But I would definitely remove access to TV/Internet during this period.

Joons

19lottie82 wrote: »

In regards to the locking him out of the house all day, me too. But I would definitely remove access to TV/Internet during this period.

In theory I would too but in reality I know I wouldn't. I would give him a few weeks to sort himself out, he's still a child, has no idea what it is he wants to do, whether we like it or not, at that age, we're still meant to provide for them.

Treevo

Joons wrote: »

He's 16, still a kid, I think that's extremely harsh. So when parents are at work all day, he gets tossed out to do what exactly, wander the streets until evening with no money, I doubt any parent would do this to a 16 year old.

He's a young adult. He can go to the Job Centre or any one of a number of services and charities that help the unemployed find work.

Plenty of parents would do it and many do. We're not all of the opinion that 16 year olds should be allowed to spend all day in bed while doing nothing. That would be cruel. There's more to parenting than all the nice bits.

heartbreak_star

Agree with Peachy - could he try a more practical or vocational course?

What was/is he studying currently?

Make sure you don't always fight his battle for him.

HBS x

RAS

Joons wrote: »

In theory I would too but in reality I know I wouldn't. I would give him a few weeks to sort himself out, he's still a child, has no idea what it is he wants to do, whether we like it or not, at that age, we're still meant to provide for them.

In a nice world yes. But thi is a harsh world now.

The stark reality is that when this child drops out of college, his parents will be stuffed.

1. he cannot claim JSA
2. They lose CB and all the benefits that come with that.

So they have far less or no money to support him and he cannot support himself. the idea that he can sit around and doss for a bit is out of date.

I do not like it, but that is the reality.

Joons

Treevo wrote: »

He's a young adult. He can go to the Job Centre or any one of a number of services and charities that help the unemployed find work.

Plenty of parents would do it and many do. We're not all of the opinion that 16 year olds should be allowed to spend all day in bed while doing nothing. That would be cruel. There's more to parenting than all the nice bits.

I disagree, at 16 you are not an adult in my eyes, 18 maybe yes. I wouldn't do it and I doubt any of my friends would either but appreciate some parents would.

pinkshoes

As a trainee teacher, I have a Y12 pupil in my class who got unclassified in everything last year, was kicked out of his school, and the school I teach at gave him a second chance. To be honest, he's a lazy tw*t, and I'm pretty sure he's going to fail again this year, so will have wasted 2 years of his life.

Definitely speak to your son, as A Levels aren't for everyone. I personally think apprenticeships are a fantastic route after GCSEs.

If he doesn't want to do an apprenticeship, and can't get a job, then his "job" will be chores and running the home. He needs to meal plan, do the shopping list and food shopping (keeping to a budget - can do it online), all the cooking and cleaning etc... If both of you are working, then it's only fair.

(This is what my OH got told when he left school at 16 with very few GCSEs, so 2 weeks later he started an apprenticeship!)

Does he have a bicycle? Is there anything within 10 miles work-wise that he could cycle to?

Joons

RAS wrote: »

In a nice world yes. But thi is a harsh world now.

The stark reality is that when this child drops out of college, his parents will be stuffed.

1. he cannot claim JSA
2. They lose CB and all the benefits that come with that.

So they have far less or no money to support him and he cannot support himself. the idea that he can sit around and doss for a bit is out of date.

I do not like it, but that is the reality.

Can't they still claim CB? If not, they'll be worse off by what, £20 a week, hardly going to massively affect their finances. He can't claim JSA because at 16 the government presume we provide for your kids.

RAS

They cannot claimn CB unless he is signed on with Connexions and co-operating with them. CB is for children in education; when he leaves education, it ends.

And they then can lose WTC, CTC if they have them although the LHA would remain the same.