How does church work?

1sttimer_2

I think it's lovely that you want to join a community church. I'm a Methodist and have just come back from a weekend away where we had really good fun. I felt just like you did 30 years ago. I looked for a Mother and Toddlers and tried a few churches and found the Methodist to be more friendly and welcoming. I'm still here so I think I can say I enjoy it. I had 2 DD's, neither of them continued with any form of religion, but I don't have an issue with that, they tried it, loved it when they were growing up, but they left when they went to Uni and never rejoined. OH has never attended, but supports me and my choices.
Messy Church is great and a good way to meet others of like minds. You can always take it from there. We have meeters and greeters who hopefully make you welcome and if you've got any questions will try to answer them, or lead you to someone who can.
Don't expect your first visit to be 'perfect', as there are so many different facets to services. We Methodists have quite a number of lay preachers circulating, each one unique in their own way but if you feel you were welcomed, but didn't enjoy that particular service, then try again another week.
Again, as others have said, clothes are not an issue, and children are more than welcome with toy bags/creche/family services available. After each Sunday morning service we have a coffee available where you can meet people under a more relaxed atmosphere.
Please give it a try, if you don't, then you will never be able to answer your own question about whether it is right for you or not. Your child will be happy if you are happy.

duchy

peachyprice wrote: »

Please don't tar all athesist with the same brush. Tolerance isn't a religious value.

As I mentioned in the Mothering Sunday thread, my DD lead the service at church yesterday for her Discovering Faith guide badge, I stood there proud as any other parent in that church. I joined in with the songs I learned as a child, admittedly I didn't sing the new ones, and didn't join in the prayers. But I had no problem at all attending church for her, if that is what she chooses, then good on her for having the courage to stand up for what she believes.

Sorry -it was a throw away comment at some of the negative posts on this particular thread ......... NOT a slam at atheists in general. I really can't understand the attitude that because *I* don't subscribe to a particular view then anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. I hold strong opinions on lots of things but I'll always listen to an opposing view -I may not agree but I love discussion The athiests on here in the main haven't displayed that kind of respect.

As for the non-mainstream churches I have attended the local LDS church -and have several good Mormon friends. I know they'd love me to become a member of their church but I've met nothing but respect and tolerance from the members there despite not joining . It has a lovely atmosphere and people really do strive to live good lives but are still fun to be around.

cattie

I was brought up as R.C but over the years have tried different churches, although I'm not a regular churchgoer. I found the most friendly & welcoming of the churches were a local Community church which had a wonderful friendly atmosphere & people of all ages attending & a Methodist church, oh & a Salvation Army hall I went to in one place I lived some years ago.

I've never been approached or made to feel welcome & part of the community by other members in an R.C or C.of E church I'm sorry to say, but perhaps it's because I live in London & churches are much friendlier & more welcoming on the whole when you are outside of a city.

peachyprice

duchy wrote: »

Sorry -it was a throw away comment at some of the negative posts on this particular thread ......... NOT a slam at atheists in general. I really can't understand the attitude that because *I* don't subscribe to a particular view then anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. I hold strong opinions on lots of things but I'll always listen to an opposing view -I may not agree but I love discussion The athiests on here in the main haven't displayed that kind of respect.

No prob Duchy.

TBH to me there is no findamental difference between being of a religion and being an atheist, it's all our own personal belief which should be respected.

I wouldn't preach to anyone of faith that they were wrong and I expect the same respect in return, unfortunately far too many people don't share the same view and are firmly of the belief that relgion=good, atheist=bad or atheist=sane, religion=barking mad.

HeatherintheHills

UsernameAlreadyExists wrote: »

I honestly can't imagine kids going down one route, changing their mind, and then trying something else ... but perhaps that's just me. Muslim for one week, Catholic the week after, and then Sikh the next? Seriously?

This made me chuckle, that was almost exactly what I did, although I spent a bit longer than a week at each. :rotfl::rotfl:

I was brought up C of E and attended Sunday School throughout my childhood. My parents were not pushy and encouraged me to be aware of the existence of other religions. I put off being confirmed because I didn't think I knew enough to make a promise like that.

By 16 years old I was exploring other beliefs and it was a fascinating journey. I talked with people with lots of different beliefs and, in most cases, was encouraged to find what worked for me. I found true honesty, hypocracy, shallow mindedness, unthinking belief, honest questioning, faith struggles, real care and goodness and the whole gamut of things that make us human. I think that journey of exploration was a very valuable time in my life and have never regretted it.

It is as important to let young minds open and explore. OP, letting your little one dip his toe into the waters of faith and belief, with you beside him, is a wonderful thing to do. Just be careful he is always aware that he is free to make whatever choices he feels are right for him and encourage him to think through what he is told for himself.

No-one has all the answers, all we can do is try to find one or two for ourselves.

geoffky

If there is something missing in your life the church will fill it..
But so will meeting other human beings for a good chat and natter..
Taking your child to the moonies at that age will have the same effect as taking them to church.
It is you making the judgement for them..

Affynity

I agree that if you're looking for a sense of community that you seek it a cause that strongly resonates with your own feelings and interests.
Why not find a hobby group, something you've always thought about being able to do and never took a first step, and go take that first step.
I volunteer for a local arts charity and we get all sorts of people coming along who don't think they have any business drawing or painting and you'll be surprised how fast you'll get into a positive habit.
Plus, I'm not trying to be a pushy non-believer but I think you'll find a creative outlet will be a lot more rewarding for your child than a conditional sense of values.

wiggywoo9

Hi if anyone was still interested in how it went, I did visit the CofE church today informally. First of all, I was embarassed to be near the church as I felt out of place but there were ladies doing knitting/sewing etc in the church hall and they were very friendly, a bit like the lovely people in my old book club (a small child to women of that kind of age seems like gold lol). The lady of the church showed me the church; they welcome children and have a special bit at the back for kids/parents. They're very happy for pushchairs and I met the temporary vicar, who had short purple hair! They were doing a funeral later on and had old rock music blaring, which they laughed about. The lady said I was welcome to come any Sunday and asked if my son was baptised. She said I was welcome to talk about that later if I wanted to. I explained the lack of religion in my family and my curiousity and it was very open. It was refreshing but whether its my family's influence or how I was raised, I felt very on edge with God etc, like its something wrong or unnatural? Maybe its something my mum's unconsciously put into my head, I don't know. I might go along and see how it goes
Oh and I've joined the two nearest book clubs, found every toddler activity in the next mile and discovered a Little Kickers club for him too, so when I leave uni in the next month, I've got something other than job-hunting to look forward to. Thanks for all your help everyone.

seven-day-weekend

Hope it works out for you, keep us posted!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

wiggywoo9 wrote: »

Hi if anyone was still interested in how it went, I did visit the CofE church today informally. First of all, I was embarassed to be near the church as I felt out of place but there were ladies doing knitting/sewing etc in the church hall and they were very friendly, a bit like the lovely people in my old book club (a small child to women of that kind of age seems like gold lol). The lady of the church showed me the church; they welcome children and have a special bit at the back for kids/parents. They're very happy for pushchairs and I met the temporary vicar, who had short purple hair! They were doing a funeral later on and had old rock music blaring, which they laughed about. The lady said I was welcome to come any Sunday and asked if my son was baptised. She said I was welcome to talk about that later if I wanted to. I explained the lack of religion in my family and my curiousity and it was very open. It was refreshing but whether its my family's influence or how I was raised, I felt very on edge with God etc, like its something wrong or unnatural? Maybe its something my mum's unconsciously put into my head, I don't know. I might go along and see how it goes
Oh and I've joined the two nearest book clubs, found every toddler activity in the next mile and discovered a Little Kickers club for him too, so when I leave uni in the next month, I've got something other than job-hunting to look forward to. Thanks for all your help everyone.

Some people just don't feel it. I can attend a religious service, see all these people happy about what they are doing, feeling comforted or buzzing - but I have not ever felt anything. I've been to different denominations, different religions - never got anything other than cold toes, followed by a weak cuppa and some biscuits.


The 'community' churches have been the well disguised evangelical ones round here. The type where they talk the talk of peace and tolerance in public, but as soon as they forget there's an observer in the group, the burn the gays, evolution is the deception of Satan and let's campaign to have the primary head moved because he and his partner must be a danger to our children all comes out to play.

They have also run the local alpha courses. Which were just high pressure sales pitches like you'd get with a stairlift or timeshare. With some food thrown in as a sweetener.

And with any group, you get an element of competition, so any church can have a few people vying for Most Pious. I've seen people be 'struck by the Spirit' or 'speaking in tongues' look out of the corner of their eye to choose the most opportune moment for it to happen and then shoot daggers at the nearest rival. But the believers can't imagine that could happen, so don't notice it. Which is no different to women competing over the PTA, play group or cake baking, but it happens, it's human nature.

Some people are cynical of people turning up in the six months before school admissions are completed. Especially if there are poor schools and a successful faith school in the area. And if you can't make the step to join, some will lose interest.

However, it can be a good way to find out more, meet people and it could be a wonderful and life changing experience for you and your little one. So it doesn't hurt to seek - as long as you remember the seeking meaning and purpose in your life isn't exclusively religious and finding something isn't for you is as vital as finding the one thing that fixes it all.