Gift Appreciation

Person_one

anniemf2508 wrote: »

I never said that we had, had no contact since the birth, we spoke when baby was a week old. She had a proper moan about everything her end. The reason i feel really quite upset over this , is shes managed to put photos of gifts shes recieved from other people and thanked them on facebook, yet i get a big fat nothing.

And i do know what it is like to have a new baby...have done it twice

I'd have put the facebook angle in the first post, as it makes quite a difference.

Maybe you aren't as close as you thought you were? Maybe she's slowly working her way through? Maybe your gift lost its tag and she can't remember who its from? Maybe as you're her oldest friend she thinks you won't mind waiting?

Only way to find out is to talk to her, I'm afraid.

Peanut2013

It could possibly be an oversight. I'm convinced I've probably forgotten someone

I have written my thank you's, just haven't had time to buy stamps for them. But I must get on it!

Mojisola

anniemf2508 wrote: »

My oldest friend had her first baby 6 weeks ago. At the moment i am house bound so a month a go i sent her a basket of goodies (few bits of clothes and essentials and a congrats card), i sent it recorded so i know it was signed for almost 4 weeks ago.

anniemf2508 wrote: »

I never said that we had, had no contact since the birth, we spoke when baby was a week old. She had a proper moan about everything her end.

The reason i feel really quite upset over this, is shes managed to put photos of gifts shes recieved from other people and thanked them on facebook, yet i get a big fat nothing.

I can't see any reason why you shouldn't phone her again and, after general "how are things?" chat, ask if the clothes you sent were alright.

Marshflower

Are you 100% sure she received it and it wasn't signed for by a neighbour or something? Or maybe tag/card fell off or got lost and she isn't sure who it was from. It seems a bit odd for her not to thank you. To be honest - and this is going to sound rather blunt I'm afraid - if you are as good friends as you say/feel you are, I cannot imagine why you haven't just called her up to check if she got the gift ok, rather than assuming the worst of her and posting about it on a message board. It's rather sad. Just give her a call to see how she is and while you're chatting say something like "oh I meant to ask, did you get my present ok? I hope it wasn't squashed or anything". Sorted.

suki1001

Maybe as such a good friends she's wondering why you haven't contacted her? Maybe the people she's spoken to on facebook have been in contact with her. And like the last post, maybe there are other reasons. I'll bet if you ring her she says something like "I've been meaning to get in touch with you, but it's been manic, thank you so much for your gift I've only got part way around thanking people, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch yet."

If you've seen the posts on facebook, have you not contacted her this way?

Lunar_Eclipse

Or how about commenting on Facebook with words to the effect of 'What nice gifts for a lovely mum & baby. Hope ours was a good size, that everything is ok with you and that you're managing to get some sleep and cuddles in' ...

chandler91607

AnnieMF2508 - You say this gift was given to your oldest friend. Please, take a moment and think about this. Do you really believe she has purposely not thanked you? Of course not. Therefore she may well have simply forgotten. Yes, we all forget things once in a while and can swear later on that we did something we quite clearly did not. If she's really your oldest friend then pick up the phone and quite simply jolt her memory and ask her. Say something along the lines of I sent you a package by Recorded Delivery which has been signed for but you have not mentioned it so I hope it was signed for by you and not a neighbour who may be sitting on my lovely baby gift to you...... Oldest friends are a treasure to hold on to so.....hold on to her.

pigpen

I'd text or ring and ask how she is and if she received/liked the gift and if everything was ok and you are looking forward to meeting baby etc (even if you aren't just lie a bit ).. a 5 minute call won't hurt.

janninew

I finally got round to sending out thanks you cards when my Daughter was around 7 months (though to be fair she was in the NICU for 14 weeks). I'm normally a very organised person and send thank you cards to people all the time for various bits, but I just couldn't find the time in the first few months.

As for the facebook issue, every time I read something on here and facebook is mentioned it seems to have upset somebody - more trouble than its worth!

Lifeforms

Maybe your gift was practical, but not outstanding,
Maybe your gift was appreciated, but not thought of being the best gift,
Maybe she is just over worked and hasn't thanked everyone,
Or maybe because you say you're old friends she just assumes that she doesn't need to personally say thank you because you should know she liked the gift.

Does a thanks need to come for every gift given out?
It came down to manners before, you were taught to say thanks for everything you got, but nowadays that doesn't seem to happen. gifts aren't really as thought out, or special, as they used to be.

Isn't the idea of a gift given to be selfless and as a nice surprise for the recipient? Giving gifts and expecting something back, even a thanks is not really the idea? What you might think is acceptable, is not what everyone else may think, so whilst you'd be mortified by not sending thanks out, perhaps she is fine with it.

As for judging on facebook, well that's a bad, sad, way to live your life. Facebook is not to show who is the best, or post neat little gift pictures to evoke jealousy. Take facebook posts with a strong pinch of salt, not worth going over it.

Why do you not phone up and find out how she's doing, a month is a long time in the life of a new born baby & parent(s). suggest as you are housebound, that she could come over for a bit to have a rest chat and either bring baby, or leave baby with someone else.

Then if you're still upset over not being thanked, ask her outright.