Gift Appreciation

anniemf2508

My oldest friend had her first baby 6 weeks ago. At the moment i am house bound so a month a go i sent her a basket of goodies (few bits of clothes and essentials and a congrats card), i sent it recorded so i know it was signed for almost 4 weeks ago.
Am i wrong to have expected at least a text of thank you in return?

mrcow

No you're not wrong.

But go easy on her. Six weeks after having my first, I was so tired and busy I barely had time to dress myself. Perhaps it's on her list but she just hasn't got there yet.

If she's such an old friend, maybe she thinks you'll understand?

Why don't you call her and see how she's doing? Don't mention the present (or lack of thank you) as it would be ungracious.

Meadows

Right now you might have one tired mum, depending on the birth and how well the baby sleeps.

Yes in an ideal world she should say thank you but maybe she has a few things on her mind and going through a busy time as well as adjusting to motherhood.

Maybe as you are old friends she may have thought you might ring her to congratulate them and ask how mum and baby are doing?

You could always ring her just to ask if she got the gift (although you say it was signed for).

suki1001

I think I sent mine a while after, my first 3 months were horrendous (although texting was for 14 year olds back then) and if she ends up with something like PND - don't expect anything. I'm sure she is very grateful, but unfortunately even doing something simple like getting a bath can be a truly mountainous task.

Person_one

New parents tend to look like zombies for the first few months, they can barely remember their own names let alone anybody else's and any that can get it together enough to send out thank you cards or have the dexterity to text are superhuman!

If she really is your oldest friend I'm surprised you've gone 6 weeks with no contact except a card. Pick up the phone and talk to her about the massive life changing thing that's just happened to her.

londonsurrey

I agree that in an ideal world, you'd get some kind of acknowledgement.

However, I always bear in mind this experience - when I was in college, I went with a friend to visit his little 10 year old brother in Great Ormond Street. His brother had been in and out of there since babyhood. The child was cheerful, the mother great.

The tired mother was just popping home, to get some washing done, and some sleep. She confided in me that she was dreading the well wishers - well meaning friends who knew that her son was in hospital again, and would leave messages on the phone and little cards, most of whom expected some acknowledgement. It wasn't much of them to expect, but when added up, together with her hectic schedule and exhaustion, it felt like a lot.

Amanda65

As others have said, in an ideal world she would have replied but when DD1 was 6 weeks old I didn''t think it would be possible for me to go anywhere or do anything before 3pm ever again as no matter what order I did things in (and I am only talking feeding and changing DD, putting her down for a nap and having a shower and getting dressed). It has no doubt just slipped further down her 'to do' list than she would have liked.

If she is your oldest friend, and you are housebound but presumably able to sue the phone / computer, why not give her a call and see how she's doing?

londonsurrey

I also remember the first few times I was left with my baby brother for the whole day, as my mother had a job lecturing on Saturdays. It was all I could do to keep up with his demands, and every time I'd just about settled him off to sleep, if I left the room, he'd wake and start crying again!

My mother would come home to a happy baby and one very parched teenager who had been gasping for a cup of tea most of the day. Lol.

anniemf2508

I never said that we had, had no contact since the birth, we spoke when baby was a week old. She had a proper moan about everything her end. The reason i feel really quite upset over this , is shes managed to put photos of gifts shes recieved from other people and thanked them on facebook, yet i get a big fat nothing.

And i do know what it is like to have a new baby...have done it twice

notanewuser

anniemf2508 wrote: »

I never said that we had, had no contact since the birth, we spoke when baby was a week old. She had a proper moan about everything her end. The reason i feel really quite upset over this , is shes managed to put photos of gifts shes recieved from other people and thanked them on facebook, yet i get a big fat nothing.

And i do know what it is like to have a new baby...have done it twice

I would be upset by this, yes.

victory

anniemf2508 wrote: »

I never said that we had, had no contact since the birth, we spoke when baby was a week old. She had a proper moan about everything her end. The reason i feel really quite upset over this , is shes managed to put photos of gifts shes recieved from other people and thanked them on facebook, yet i get a big fat nothing.

And i do know what it is like to have a new baby...have done it twice

An oversight? Certainly not a pleasant one but tiredness, trying to remember everything right at this moment is a lot to do. I would hope that not all presents were put on Facebook, she may have had a moment spare and uploaded some but unfortunately making you feel worse not yours?