Ex taking me to county court for gifts

kelstar1973

everyone given you brilliant advice! I was in your situation about 5 years ago my ex said that he had loaned me money and bought me a car, a video player and sold my mum a dishwasher which she hadent paid for! The video was a birthday present the dishwasher my mum actually gave him £200 (which he spent down the pub in 2 days!) he never gave me any money and the car which he said he bought me was on finance in HIS name and got reposessed!! Anyway he kept threatening me and send his parents round to my house with letters and their stupid threats.I went to a solicitor and they told me gifts cant be taken back! and he had no proof of giving me anything at all. The solicitor wrote him a letter and it must of scared him off because the court he was threatening me with never happened! Oh and the solicitor never charged me for the 1st meeting. hope this puts your mind at rest dont worry they are just trying to get to you.

nrsql

Don't believe the police - they aren't judges.
Letters can constitute harassment.
http://www.yourrights.org.uk/your-rights/chapters/privacy/harassment/harassment-and-unwanted-letters.shtml
To take you to court he will have to set out the evidence to support his case and will probably stop at that point if he has any intention of going through with this (which I doubt).

Can you get a restraining order against him which (I think) could include any contact including mail. Siting the caution and presenting the letters should help. Just say you're worried about his state of mind and he's already shown violent tendencies.
Do you have anything in writing from his father or from him stating his father is involved?
Sounds like the whole family is a bit odd - his father should be telling him to get over it.

Nothing that happens will be as bad as worrying about it - and that's what he's counting on.

Hmmm - wonder if I could add interest and claim back money for gifts I've made to ex-girlfriends? "You remember that ice cream I bought you on our first date - well with interest that comes to..."

girltuesday_2

Just to say, you mentioned you're at university. Well, most have a counselling service free of charge, and it might help you to talk this through with them, especially about the worry and anxiety it's causing you.

Also, if this is affecting your studies, you should be able to file mitigating circumstances, meaning that if your exam/coursework marks are lower than expected, the stress of all this will be taken into account.

I know how hard it is to put all this out of your head and concentrate on studying, but please don't let this !!!!! ruin things for you!

(I work for a university, in case you hadn't guessed!)

[Deleted User]

sallyanne1984 wrote: »

Hi all and thanks for your replies. I contacted the police yesterday explaining his behaviour and they said he's allowed to send me letters until he is blue in the face (apparently!). I really do feel that it is his whole family who are stalking me now as his dad is involved.

He cant send you letters until he is blue in the face it is harrassment, it sounds like whoever you talked to was a police chief wiggum "ill just type that up on my invisible typewriter" fob off.

Ask to speak to a female officer and say that you need a statement taken. Work out before hand the instances that you felt mostly threatened before hand including times and the witnesses (if any, doesnt need to be though). Might be best to even type it up, also speak with citizens advise, as im sure they will be equally disgusted with the police fob off, its annoying when people get paid 30-40K a year in a safe cushy poice job and cant be arsed to lift a pen. Also take copys of all his letters and highlight the sections that you feel are threatening eg those asking for money or just plain having a go at you.

They should warn him not to send you letters or speak to you, if after this evidence has been recorded he does it again, it will be a formal warning, one more and he might even be prosecuted for harasment and you can get a restraining order on him and his family.

Smileysunflower

What more can I add to the replies already on here? Let him take you to court, and his nutter of a dad too, they have no proof, no evidence, nothing. Do you have a Law Centre in your town? Get free advice there.

Hugs

Sue

sallyanne1984

thanks for all your replies guys and I'll keep you updated about whether it goes to court or not! Do you still recieve a letter if the case has been thrown out?

Yes, my ex boyfriend is being a t@#t! I'm just so grateful that my boyfriend i sticking by me and is understanding about my stalker ex. Is'nt a nice thing to have to explain and then my ex hits him! Nice!

I just hope it all ends soon...


:mad:

inmypocketnottheirs

I would be very surprised if this weedy little whimp will take you to court. He would rather just verbally bully and harass you. Plus if it did get to court, what really are the chances of the court agreeing with his petty little claim. They are more likely to tell him to get a life (not bad advice) and to move on and leave you alone.

More likely it is just his way of maintaining contact and having a basis to annoy you than any real threat of any action.

HTH

MerseyLad

As a police officer, I can tell you that you do have a possible case of harrassment against your ex.

A person must not pursue a course of conduct

(a) which amounts to harassment of another and

(b) which he knows or ought to know amounts to harassment of the other.

To obtain a conviction for criminal harassment the prosecution needs to prove beyond all reasonable doubt the three elements of harassment:

* the defendant has pursued a course of conduct
* the course of conduct amounted to harassment of another person
* the defendant knew or ought to have known that the course of conduct amounted to harassment.

Harassment is defined as causing alarm or causing distress and a course of conduct which can include speech must involve conduct on at least 2 occasions. The incidents do not have to be the same type of behaviour on both occasions.

Criminal harassment is a summary only offence dealt with by the magistrates court and carries a maximum sentence of 6 months' imprisonment and/or a fine not exceeding level 5.

Upon conviction a magistrates court can make a restraining order, breach of which carries a maximum sentence of 5 years' imprisonment.

In addition to the criminal sanction, a civil court (county court or high court) can also impose civil injunctions in harassment cases as well as awarding damages to the victim for the harassment.

The PHA makes a breach of such an injunction a criminal offence, punishable in the magistrates court with up to 6 months' imprisonment, and/or a 5000 fine, or in the crown court with up to 5 years' imprisonment and an unlimited fine. This is unusual, as the normal sanction for breach of the terms of an injunction is contempt of court proceedings in the civil court that ordered the original injunction.

Course of conduct

This is when the act has been commited on 2 or more occassions by the same person. In this instance you ave the original issues, and then the following letters.

Your local force should be taking this up for you.

sallyanne1984

The police are basically telling me to stop worrying and don't let this get to you. I dont think they have taken it seriously and apparently because the letters are to do with the court they can't do anything anyway. I get the impression that they think its laughable when it's a serious thing to me, to be bullied like this.

:mad:

[Deleted User]

If the letters are from the court that is a different matter, dont be worried about these they will be fairly standard with every case and itll be the judge and his legal advisors that will decide.

However any instances that he has contacted you and made you feel bad using any form of communication, verbal, sms, letter, or even starting rumours via friends then that is harrasment.