Ex taking me to county court for gifts

sallyanne1984

:mad:

I know this thread is mostly for lending money to friends and family, however how does it work for girlfriends/boyfriends?

My ex is trying to sue me for money which he gave to me as gifts. We were dating (not living together) for about 16 months. Last September I finished the relationship and shortly after (about 2 months) I got with my current boyfriend. My ex was extremely bitter about it as he thought I had cheated on him (I had'nt) and spread vicious rumours about me and spoke to all my friends about me (nasty things). Then, after emotionally bullying my partner at our local gym, he hit him on Christmas Eve! This was an unprovocked attack in a pub when my bf was sending a text to someone. My partner reported the incident and my ex recieved a caution from the police. We thought that was it.

He was told my the police to leave both myself and my partner alone. However about a month letter I recieved a letter from my ex saying that I owe him £680. The amounts of money are 5 and he has no dates for any of them. It's almost as though he has picked certain amounts he has spent on me. He wrote a list of the believed loans such as General loan - 140 pounds, Driving lessons - 40 etc. He even said I owe money to his mum for driving lessons. His family were very money orientated. I dont understand why he is doing this. He seems bitter and twisted and seems to want revenge regardless of the fact that I dont owe him anything.

I have never signed any agreements for loans so I didnt know what he is talking about. He is claiming in the letters that there was a verbal agreement which I did not do. Anyway, after ignoring this letter, a second letter came asking for the money again, this time more threatening, saying could I swear under oath that I didnt borrow the money? Is county court done under oath?? I went to his house along with my bf and his friend as a witness and said 'leave me alone'. He said 'no I want my money'. I then asked him for the so called evidence and he said 'no, I want to go to court'. I then said 'Look, show me any evidence of any loans and I'll go to the cash machine right now'. He said 'no I want to go to court'.

I have been told that if a person offers to settle out of court, then it can not go to court. Is this true? I rang the police who went around to his place and told him to stop sending letters. Then, the policeman told me that the letter was real and that he is taking me to court. I dont understand how this could even go to court when it is as obvious as an ex wanting revenge. Surely any court or judge could see what he is trying to do and throw it out of court? I'm just fed up of him being in my life and trying to destroy my new relationship and trying to make me unhappy.

His dad called my partner and apparently he is taking over the case for his son. If he loses his dad is apparently going to prosecute me for perjury. Is there any laws to do with loan sharking here? In the meantime I am worrying about all this as I am thinking that he is so bitter that he has made up evidence. Furthermore, it is all very embarrasing as he keeps sending copies to me dad saying he's my legal guardian. I'm 22! It's affecting my third year uni - it's as though he has timed all this knowing I worry a lot!

I believe that my ex is doing this because he is trying to control me and he knows I worry a lot. His father, mother and him all have referred to my worrying even saying to my partner 'I know she worries alot...'

I'm expecting a letter in the next week regarding if it going to court or not.

Any advice please


Thanks

debsue

Hi

I am no expert, but if it was me I wouldnt worry, he has nothing on paper to say these were loans, no signed agreement, no proof that he actually lent you anything. Let him take you to court, in the meantime go to the CAB or see a soliciter, most will give 30 mins free advice.

Good luck

Voyager2002

Well, he is being really horrible: that is the real problem.

As for the money: like everyone, even the most complete nutcase, he has the right to go to court and and have a judge listen while he explains why he thinks he is owed money. However, he has absolutely no evidence, so unless you decide to tell the judge that you had agreed to repay the money (unlikely!) he would not win anything and would just be left having to pay the court fee.

Oh: I have been in court once, and I don't think I had to swear an oath, but just promise to tell the truth.

Perjury -- telling lies in court -- is a criminal matter, and so neither he nor his family could charge you with it. They are free to talk to the police and try to persuade them that you made false statements under oath. However, the police have already had contact with him and would know exactly what his game was, and I am sure they would tell him to go away and stop wasting their time.

In sum, I don't think you need to give any time or trouble to his demands for money. You could write to him asking him to provide documentary evidence that you owe him money, but that would just prolong contact with him, which is probably what he wants. And I don't think this money business is worth going to a solicitor or CAB, although if he continues to harass you then you should get advice on how the law can protect you. The most important thing for you to do is to stop worrying, get on with your life, and of course do as well as you possibly can in your university exams.

Mother_Hub

I can only say in a nutshell he is a NUT. Keep all details time and date etc when said NUT contacts you by phone, mail and visits and also said NUTS Father for evidence could come in handy. Enjoy your life don’t let said NUT run it.

Alias_Omega

If you can afford it, i would take all the evidence you have, and go see a solicitor. They usually give you a session free, and get them to write a letter back to them on your behalf and see what they say to you.

Im sure that they wont say any more about it, when they carefully explain that there charges are rather large.

Does your house insurance not cover this, under the legal protection thing. If so, seek advice before speaking to the ex.


Oh yea, you spelt this wrong...

'Wolrd of Warcraft Widow No 1'

in your signature.

sallyanne1984

Thanks for your replies guys. Hes also send another letter, this morning in fact saying he does not have 'time' to call me or meet me to discuss all this as he has exams etc at uni ( I know he has finished for the year). It sounds like he realises that I'm not listening to his rubbish. When I went to his house he refused to show evidence. I did send a letter after the first letter asking for evidence which he ignored. :mad:

Furthermore, he requests that all contact is done by letter alone. Why? Surely he has to? The letter is also rather insulting referring that I am stupid etc. Should I take this to the police? The police have already been around to his house once to have a word. This is freaking me out. In the meantime he is still saying he is'nt stalking me!

Thanks

wehavethepower

I think you should get a harrassment order against him or certainly threaten him with it. You should keep documentary evidence of all the times he has contacted/written to you.
http://www.yourrights.org.uk/your-rights/chapters/the-right-to-privacy/harassment,-unwanted-letters-and-telephone-calls/index.shtml
but most importantly ignore him. He has absolutely no grounds to claim money back there is no evidence - just laugh at him. He doesn't really want the money he just wants to cause you grief.
Any attention given to him is obviously going to fuel him even further, so just make a note of his harrassment and ignore it, or go to the police with it.

Good luck.

Hermione54

Legally I am sure the guy doesn't have a leg to stand on. His pride was hurt by your ending of the relationship, but you had every right to do that and he should just get over it and stop making a complete !!!!! of himself. Let him take you to court; he will lose, it will cost him and he will end up looking even more of an idiot than he does now. Meanwhile, if I was you I would ignore him and his father and get on with your life. Good luck.

jonesMUFCforever

I think you have had a lot of good advice already BUT one thing I would add is not to contact him at all in person (whether to discuss this or not).
Do it all through written correspondence (always keep copies) and never say anything that might incriminate you in case he has a tape recorder if you should meet.

digerati

sallyanne1984 wrote: »

My ex is trying to sue me for money which he gave to me as gifts. We were dating (not living together) for about 16 months. Last September I finished the relationship and shortly after (about 2 months) I got with my current boyfriend. My ex was extremely bitter about it as he thought I had cheated on him (I had'nt) and spread vicious rumours about me and spoke to all my friends about me (nasty things). Then, after emotionally bullying my partner at our local gym, he hit him on Christmas Eve! This was an unprovocked attack in a pub when my bf was sending a text to someone. My partner reported the incident and my ex recieved a caution from the police...

From your description it appears to be a case of harassment and intimidation. Since your ex has no documentary evidence of loans (signed & dated by you), most courts will recognize your driving lessons as freely given with no implied understanding of payment.

Make a point of your ex's Christmas Eve assault on your partner, and then the subsequent harassment as retaliation for reporting the incident to the Police. You might want to ask your solicitor if they could make an application for an Anti-Social Behaviour Order against him.

As for him asking you to "swear under oath that I didnt borrow the money?" - the burden of proof is on him to prove that he offered and you accepted services in expectation of payment. If you were the vindictive type (which you aren't) you could present him with a detailed bill for your services in the bedroom: dressing him up as a schoolgirl, changing his nappies, calling him big boy (when he isn't), and all sorts of delightful sexual anecdotes designed to humiliate him in open court...

Lastly if your friends are willing to testify to the vicious rumours your ex- spoke about you (or hopefully recorded), you would have an excellent chance of bringing a counter claim of slander (and subsequent emotional distress) against him. It would also so to showing the intention of your ex- in taking you to court. Courts don't like their already full calendars littered with trivial matters and would likely dismiss any case with prejudice and costs awarded to you.

Voyager2002 has it spot on - stop worrying, get on with your life, and of course do as well as you possibly can in your university exams.

sallyanne1984

Hi all and thanks for your replies. I contacted the police yesterday explaining his behaviour and they said he's allowed to send me letters until he is blue in the face (apparently!). I really do feel that it is his whole family who are stalking me now as his dad is involved. The fact that they are using my 'worrying' as a weapon is so upsetting. Especially when they all used to try and help me with my anxiety. The thing is, is that I barely spoke to his father or knew him very well! He was certainly not around to witness any 'so called' loans between my ex and I. None of his family or anyone at all for that matter were present when any money was exhanged as gifts.

Does this happen alot? when people are sued by their ex's? I've never heard it before you see. I know that he has no evidence unless he has made it up. What would be classed as evidence if he has made it up and what should I do in court if he presents it? His dad is a very controlling man and if he is representing my ex, then he will put me down and twist everything (I'm a shy person). He is angry that my boyfriend pressed charges agaisnt him when he hit him. I don't know why because he had every right to and my poor boyfriend had done nothing wrong but be with me. I just feel so out of control...

Thanks