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Less than 12 weeks pregnant club! Part 3

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  • Birdie85
    Birdie85 Posts: 9,330 Forumite
    Oh that's great news Sam! Confusing about the dates though! :)

    Glad your scan went well too Lily, hope to see you on the other thread soon! :)
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
  • amyloofoo
    amyloofoo Posts: 1,804 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    Glad to hear the scan went well (even if confusing) for Sam and that things are equally positive for Lily.

    As I've been off work for a little while with the good old HG I had an informal meeting with my manager today to discuss things. It's something that's needed to be done under work's sickness policy and is more of a box ticking exercise for the managers than anything else. Today I've been really tired and could be sick at any moment, but I made an effort to stay awake, get dressed appropriately, put some make-up on and turn up early so I wasn't just rushing in and was able to say hello to colleagues.

    With the exception of the receptionist, no-one said hi to me or even acknowledged my presence beyond a raised eyebrow or a glance - and I walked past about 8 or 9 members of a team I've worked with for almost a year. I was a little taken aback by the coldness of my reception, but made my mind up to be friendly and to go to talk with them after the meeting.

    The actual meeting itself was fine, generally talking about when I hope to be back (the answer is as soon as I can spend a couple of hours without vomiting or fainting), problems that may arise in the future and how I'm being cared for during the pregnancy. I was nearly sick in the office and had to pull out my emergency stash of nappy bags but fortunately managed to pull myself back from the brink.

    Afterwards I went to say hello to the other team members, and started with the two who do the same role as me. I considered myself to be friendly with both, although one is very brusque with everyone and can be a very abrasive person. I was told that my illness was preferable to working on the ward, that things were !!!!! and then she walked away - the other team member was a little more communicative, but said the bare minimum and then said she was looking for another job. None of the others in the room even acknowledged I was there.

    Now I gather that there's been quite a bit of sickness absence across the team and that things have been difficult. However this ward is regularly like this and it's often in the past been me that's been covering for others. I feel that they're treating my illness as being less severe than their own (without even asking me what was wrong) and have decided to make me a scapegoat. When others went in after extended absence people said hi, and even if they'd whinged about having to cover for them, they would sympathise with their illness and wish them well.

    I know some of it's probably hormones and tiredness and generally feeling pants, but they've really got to me. I genuinely loved my job and now I'm terrified of how I'll be treated when I go back. I've just cried and cried since I got home. I just feel so isolated and as though I have no friends - they've all worked there much longer and are friends socially, around the same age and are friends on Facebook, etc - none of which they've included me in.

    ETA: sorry for the extended whinge, needed to vent.
  • samtoby
    samtoby Posts: 2,438 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    Hope your scan was good Lily.

    Amy that is terrible. (what is HG?) It does not matter whether they know whats wrong or not they should not have blanked you. We had a lady at work that had severe morning sickness and loads of people said she was putting it on. She wasn't she was in hospital on drips etc. Some people just look for a way out someone to blame. What a shame.

    I do hope you feel better soon and its baby in the front seat now so you covered the ward when others were ill so they can repay it. Often the people with the worst opinions are the ones that have an extensive sick record.

    Hugs. xx
    3 Children - 2004 :heart2: 2014 :heart2: 2017 :heart2:
    Happily Married since 2016
  • samtoby
    samtoby Posts: 2,438 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    P.S Vent away. xx
    3 Children - 2004 :heart2: 2014 :heart2: 2017 :heart2:
    Happily Married since 2016
  • TeamLowe
    TeamLowe Posts: 2,406 Forumite
    Sorry to hear of poop workmates Amy, they'll probably act like it's never happened when you go back and be awful to someone else

    Samtoby so pleased to hear your news, maybe the date on the scan was from what they logged on the system? Mine says 8 weeks across the top cos of lmp but has the measurement and 7weeks across the bottom x
    Little Lowe born January 2014 at 36+6

    Completed on house September 2013

    Got Married April 2011
  • firefly369
    firefly369 Posts: 479 Forumite
    Amy - Sorry to hear about your work collegues. That is the last thing you need after suffering through really bad morning sickness.

    Sam - So glad your scan gave you the reassurance you need:)

    Lily
    - I will be lurking on the other site until I get there myself. Best of luck with you little one.
  • samtoby
    samtoby Posts: 2,438 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker PPI Party Pooper
    Ah I see. By 5+4 date I started my period a week later than I actually did, but by 6+4 its exactly right by dates.

    Because it was so unclear they are going to scan me again on the 4th July 2013. Firstly to check the blood sac but also to see if they can get a better measurement and of dates.

    Enough anyway - my baby had a lovely heartbeat so my day is made. :)
    3 Children - 2004 :heart2: 2014 :heart2: 2017 :heart2:
    Happily Married since 2016
  • lilymay1
    lilymay1 Posts: 1,597 Forumite
    edited 20 June 2013 at 12:53AM
    EDD and 12 Week Scan Lists:

    Amyfooloo: (25-12-2013) - 20th June 2013
    BigZippy: (11-01-2014) - 1st July 2013
    Mazzarati: (11-01-2014)
    Mincepie: (16-1-2014) - 27th June 2013
    Shiningstar: (17-1-2014)
    FranO: (22-01-2014) - 10th July 2013
    Firefly: (25-1-2014)
    TeamLowe: (3-2-2014) - 22nd July 2013
    Samtobe: (5-2-2014)
    Birdie: (8-2-2014)
    Faerie: (9-2-2014)
    14th October 2010
    20th October 2011
    3rd December 2013
  • Birdie85
    Birdie85 Posts: 9,330 Forumite
    Big hugs Amy xxx

    I've been on both ends of that situation too; one time we had a colleague off work for months on end and we were all crazy stressed as a result, but at least we were nice to her when she eventually came back! A while later, I had about 5 weeks off work with anxiety and stress and when I went back I did sense some disbelief that I was actually ill and a little hostility that people had had to pick up my work. It's a shame that so many workplaces now run on such low staff levels that they can't cope when someone is off with illness... but that's not the ill person's fault and I wish more people were understanding of that! Anyway, don't let it worry you too much as it won't make going back to work any easier. Hopefully you just happened to catch them on a bad day and when you do go back they'll be nice to you again. Hope you're feeling better today. :)

    AFM, oh my word I'm so tired! Slept through my alarm this morning! :o I was in bed and almost asleep when OH got home last night. I feel bad about that as we've had a nice routine for years of him getting home at 10.15, I've got a cup of tea ready for him and we sit and have a little chat, watch some TV etc for about half an hour before going to bed. Now it's going to be a case of him coming home to find all the lights off, a cold cuppa on the table and a snoring wife in bed! :o
    Overcome the notion that you must be ordinary. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary!
    Goal Weight 140lb Starting Weight: 160lb Current Weight 145lb
  • lilymay1
    lilymay1 Posts: 1,597 Forumite
    So sorry to hear your colleagues are being unkind Amy. I think there's quite a lot of misunderstanding about HG, and I don't think all the publicity surrounding Kate Middleton did genuine sufferers any favours.
    I can't imagine feeling so awful and I think a lot of people probably feel the same. There are a lot of women who think the world owes them something when they're pregnant and it can be hard to stomach for those who just get on with it. Still, regardless of whether or not someone is ill, Sometimes you should just keep your opinions to yourself!

    Keep your head high. You have done nothing wrong and their opinion really doesn't matter. Hopefully when you get back it'll all go back to normal. Don't ever feel like you need to explain yourself either. Chin up xx
    14th October 2010
    20th October 2011
    3rd December 2013
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