Parents who worry unnecessarily

spidereyes

First of all I know Im incredibly lucky to have parents that care etc but Im just wondering on how others deal with parents who just worry about things in their life too much?
Ive not lived with folks for years so its not like I dont know how to look after myself.

Typical examples:

First holiday abroad with OH, told my mum we were looking at going to Portugal, she said she didn't want me going there because of !!!!!philes (it was a bit after the maddy mcaann thing) but even still I was 19!

I live in a city and it wouldn't be the first time Ive found myself walking home on my own after a night out at 4am Anyway my folks live in a sleepy little town but if ever Ive popped back and decided to go to the pub to meet some friends my mums demanded that Im home by 11pm because she doesn't want 'anything to happen'. Bearing in mind its the kind of place that if a cow moos it makes the front page of the news.

Year or so ago I'd broken my phone so the back cover was held on with some tape, no big deal and it did the job. It happened to come up in conversation with my mum and at the time me and OH were off to Tunisia. Mum ended up buying me a new phone because she said I was likely to get arrested at the airport because they would think my sticky taped phone was a bomb.

And now Ive been ill the last week or so, mum's been texting to see how I am. Told her what was up. Ive had it before and seen the Docs in the past for it (basically I get bad acid ingestion which causes stomach spasms etc) anyway last night it was pretty bad to the point I almost went the hospital, of course this only worried my mother when I told her.
Anyway I went to MILs for lunch and left my phone at home on charge, I came back to 3 texts from my mum saying that she was seriously concerned, told me to get to the hospital asap as she thinks Ive got an ectopic pregnancy (So OTT!)

So Im just wondering apart from just not telling my mum anything which will cause her to worry, how others deal with situations like this as there seems to be no real way of convincing my mum I'm a grown up and can look after myself!

balletshoes

spidereyes wrote: »

Year or so ago I'd broken my phone so the back cover was held on with some tape, no big deal and it did the job. It happened to come up in conversation with my mum and at the time me and OH were off to Tunisia. Mum ended up buying me a new phone because she said I was likely to get arrested at the airport because they would think my sticky taped phone was a bomb.

So Im just wondering apart from just not telling my mum anything which will cause her to worry, how others deal with situations like this as there seems to be no real way of convincing my mum I'm a grown up and can look after myself!

that phone example made me roar laughing - I'd have burst out laughing when it happened too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

Bless your mum, I think she actively enjoys worrying about you, makes her feel she has a purpose. Unless its really annoying you to the point that its affecting your feelings towards your parents, I'd just let her get on with it (and start not telling her quite so much about what you're doing/where you're going etc).

duchy

Well you LET her buy you the phone ........and you told her you felt so ill you thought you needed hospital attention -knowing she's a worrier.

Part of leaving home is not dropping every worry on your parents if you don't want them to worry - or feel they can interfere. Needs to know basis is a bit strong but they don't need every tiny detail either -especially as you know what will set them off. (Unless deep down you quite enjoy your Mum fussing as it shows she cares)

Time_to_get_up_and_go_2-2

Omg I thought it was only me, we keep telling my mum that she's going to cause herself a stroke as she panics about the slightest thing.
I know she means well but it drives me crazy and I really don't want my kids going through with their Nan, what I went though with her as a mum (she looks after them 3 days a week)

pigpen

I wouldn't tell her any details iff my life because she is a drama llama! I'd have to laugh at her silliness every time she came out with something ludicrous.... Or I would tell her wild stories to fuel her imagination because it would amuse me but it would be quite mean.

Maybe suggest she should have had more children or that she should find soething else to occupy her because flapping about wild imaginings is just a bit loopy.

Gillyx

My Dad if he catches me going anywhere still says things like 'are you going to put a coat on with that, it's cold out' despite me never going anywhere without one

spidereyes

balletshoes wrote: »

that phone example made me roar laughing - I'd have burst out laughing when it happened too :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:.

Bless your mum, I think she actively enjoys worrying about you, makes her feel she has a purpose. Unless its really annoying you to the point that its affecting your feelings towards your parents, I'd just let her get on with it (and start not telling her quite so much about what you're doing/where you're going etc).

The phone thing for example is a typical example of her worrying about something that didn't matter. She saw my phone one day and asked about what happened about it. Two days later I get a text saying she'll be down at my house later cos she's bought me a new one cos ill get arrested.

What does bug me is that she'll worry about something like that but fails to acknowledge particular issues that do actually matter!

*max*

That's what mums do! You'll always be your mum's baby, so you better accept it. lol

I'm 35, I live alone and in the UK (mum lives in France), and she worries about me like there's no tomorrow. If I'm not home when she phones, she'll leave a couple of messages on my answering machine then try me on my mobile. Heaven forbid that's turned off! She'll then leave message after message, increasingly worried - you can tell because her voice goes up every time... lol

I remember when I told her I'd moved to Belfast from Scotland. She went "That place with all the bombs????". God I love my mum!

mum2one

My mum is the same and I'm 41! and a mum myself!!

She has a heart of gold, but I would say think sometimes before you say something thats shes would worry about, I know its easier said than done.

I'm sure I'd be the same with my daughter when shes older... x

*max*

spidereyes wrote: »

The phone thing for example is a typical example of her worrying about something that didn't matter. She saw my phone one day and asked about what happened about it. Two days later I get a text saying she'll be down at my house later cos she's bought me a new one cos ill get arrested.

What does bug me is that she'll worry about something like that but fails to acknowledge particular issues that do actually matter!

Like what? From what you've written so far, it sounds like she's a little bit over the top, but not worryingly so really...It all depends what the "particular issues" are that she doesn't acknowledge though, and how much it affects you.

thorsoak

What goes round, comes round .......it's got to the stage now where MY DAUGHTER rings me up if I havent commented/spoken on F/B each day!!!