MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Saffagal

Hi all

Can I join the OH moans? It is really getting me down and I'm feeling so low at the moment. OH thinks that amusing A whilst I rush around like a mad thing - showering, dressing, cleaning, laundry, cooking etc and him doing the dishes after dinner, including wiping down her high chair (whilst I am getting her ready for bed and then putting her down) is enough of a contribution to her care because I am her primary caregiver and looking after her is therefore what I am here for. Did I mention, I have already cleaned the highchair and the floor twice each day already come dinner time?? :mad:

I've tried explaining to him that I need a break - even 15min each day when I am not in anyway responsible for her care. He finds it "worrying" that I feel I need this time and "you will feel better when you go back to work". How on earth will I feel better when I go back to work? I barely feel I am managing to get everything done now, and I'll have two and a half less days in which to do all the house things (all cleaning, laundry, shopping and 80% cooking) and care for A! Looking after A is a 24/7 responsibility - there isn't any "down" time; in the evenings when she is in bed, she could (and does wake) at any moment. That isn't "time off".

According to him, having A isn't what I expected it would be like and so I feel resentful.
No, what I resent is that he doesn't see any need to meet any of her care needs because I am here and will do it. He doesn't see how changing one nappy, getting her in the morning or doing something for her without me having to ask first could make any difference at all. When I said about how I had felt supported when she was younger and he helped with some of the nappies he replied but she has fewer nappies now she's older - yeah, because that makes ALL the difference!

Sorry for the moans; just feeling really low today. OH has gone off (with most of his family) to a funeral, and I'm home with A. I'm actually glad OH is out and will be most of the day which makes me feel even worse

Claree__x

I'm with you saff. "Do you want me to..." How about you just flaming do it without making out that you're doing me a favour?!

lao_cat

Saffagal my oh says the same, ill feel better when I go back to work. I would love to leave ds with him for a day a d see how much he gets done while caring for him without assistance but as I bf he thinks it is so much easier for me, how I don't know! I was desperate for some down time so I bundled ds up and sent them out for a walk. DH was like I want you to come but I refused. Currently having a rest. No advice for you but big hugs!

Claree__x

Just off the phone and it seems positive. Position would be starting in march/april which is roughly when I'm due to go back anyway and it'd be part time, 2-3 days per week.

I'm meeting with the manager on Monday to have a chat so fingers crossed!

Oscar_the_Pug

Good luck Claree_x!

GwylimT

Well my son has discovered the world of poo, there is nothing like walking into their room and find them, their cot and the wall covered, thank you son, I'll have to get my own revenge when I'm an oldie in nappies.

delain

My OH has got my goat today as well. Maybe we all have christmas doldrums!

GwylimT I feel your pain. My twins have mild ASD and started doing that at 3 (toilet training was impossible at that point!) And carried on until they were almost 5... it was a nightmare! On the plus side I can now get poo off pretty much anything although id rather not have had the practice :rotfl:

BabaMoose

KScarlet wrote: »

Does anyone here have a Renault Grande Scenic and use an isofix seat? I want to buy a base for ours as I'm finding using the seat belt awkward with my back problems, google is suggesting that I can't fit one to my car due to floor storage but I don't get why the car has isofix points?! I would be grateful of any advise!

Hi - hope you had a good Christmas - seems like this is a common problem, have you come across this thread?

Apparently there are seats that will attach to the isofix points that don't require the foot pole - but may need a 'top tether' instead.

I don't have your car though so will stop nosing in now, curiosity got the better of me

lazywife

I think we're all craving a bit of routine back and OH's aren't normally a part of that day in day out. I think sometimes it's harder when they're around... I have two boys to entertain then! Although credit where credit's due, I had a migraine last night, on the way back from my parents so was out of it, DH drove home, stopped twice to soothe T, changed him and got him ready for bed, then put him on my breast to feed (whilst I sat in bed, wearing my feeding cushion and had my eyes shut!) then came and collected him and put him to bed. T must have got the idea because he didn't wake up through the night... much better today

continualdiamond

Hello everyone, hope you all had a good Christmas.

We managed to time it perfectly with arriving at my inlaws for 1pm, giving Scarlett her bottle at 1:30pm and she happened to be tired and wanted her bed so went down to sleep just after 2pm when Christmas dinner was ready. So was lovely to be able to all sit down together and eat at the same time.

The day was generally pretty good. Father in law annoyed me a bit, he took it upon himself to turn the swing setting down as said it was going too quick. Baring in mind the swing we have has its own control setting based on how heavy the baby is so of course went very slowly when Scarlett was a few weeks old and of course now swings faster due to her being 12 weeks old.

He does annoy me big time. Purely because he doesn't like it when she cries. Of course everyone is like that but he is a lot worse, wants you to stop her crying like right away with actually saying 'do something'. He also won't tend to her, like if she brings up a bit of milk he's calling on us to dab her chin etc. It's just stupid.

He even backed out of baby sitting on the 21st saying he couldn't face it so just my mother in law came to ours to babysit. I'm now at the point that I dread when he is around her cos I'm constantly wondering how he is judging us etc.

Anyway, enough moaning. I enjoyed Christmas anyway, it was lovely first thing in the morning with just the two of us with Scarlett. I took photos of hubby with her and he filmed me with her unwrapping presents, it was fab.

She's changing so much. I don't have a baby baby anymore.

Here she is at Christmas: