MSE Newborn to 1 year (& beyond!) baby club 2

Cake4brains

Thanks for the kind wishes everyone. Had a difficult few days which seem to be slowly getting better. Well, I say better.... we are being polite with one another and the only things we talk about are mundane day to day things regarding the girls.

I've tried asking why he's done this and the only answers I get are he doesn't know and it was harmless fun. Erm, no it wasn't. He doesn't seem to understand why I am so upset and thinks because it was just texting it is ok as long as he doesn't physically do anything

I'm at my wits end tbh and did suggest counselling of some sort to him. He said if its what I want he will do it. I've no idea even how I would go about it. I don't suppose anyone knows where I start?

We went on a day trip today to Scarborough. Wasn't a bad day considering. Would have been fantastic on a normal day. Just felt like we were playing at happy families today though

Glad you had a good day Mrsashworth

sunshine_1988

Hi ladies

Sorry I have been awol lately, just seemed really busy atm, trying to sort out stuff for our house move :j hopefully 5weeks and we will be off!!

Cake, sorrt hun no idea where to start on counselling, am sure someone will know though. x

My grandad is still here too, Aiden loves him and I think its lovely to see them together. OHs nan is here too and she has a ton of great grandchildren but its still lovely for her to have another

Have I missed how Noah and Sammie are? Have the pox gone?

X

fluffnutter

Cake4brains wrote: »

Thanks for the kind wishes everyone. Had a difficult few days which seem to be slowly getting better. Well, I say better.... we are being polite with one another and the only things we talk about are mundane day to day things regarding the girls.

I've tried asking why he's done this and the only answers I get are he doesn't know and it was harmless fun. Erm, no it wasn't. He doesn't seem to understand why I am so upset and thinks because it was just texting it is ok as long as he doesn't physically do anything

I'm at my wits end tbh and did suggest counselling of some sort to him. He said if its what I want he will do it. I've no idea even how I would go about it. I don't suppose anyone knows where I start?

We went on a day trip today to Scarborough. Wasn't a bad day considering. Would have been fantastic on a normal day. Just felt like we were playing at happy families today though

Glad you had a good day Mrsashworth

I think it's important that he understands that 'just texting' is damaging. How else will you be able to trust that he doesn't threaten your relationship again in this way if he doesn't even see it as a threat? To that end counselling would be useful. Sometimes it's very helpful to have an objective person, particularly someone 'official' to point out that 'yes, it was a bad thing to do and your wife is not over-reacting'.

That aside, my OH is very reluctant to admit he's done wrong (about anything really) even though deep down he knows he has. It's that automatic defensiveness that they resort to to protect themselves. He might be playing it down simply because he's not ready or willing to hold his hands up and admit just what a shit he's been. Doesn't necessarily mean he's not aware of that.

Like everything, Cake, you've got to start talking. Good luck my love.

savageHK

cake I've not personally used them but perhaps try Relate? http://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-counselling/index.html

*Nutella*

I've heard good things about Relate

*Nutella*

Sainsbury's have 25% off all clothing until Monday

fluffnutter

Freddie's just had his 12 month check with the heath visitor. Despite my saying 'yes, he can do *this*' and 'oh, yeah, he's really good at *that*' he refused to show off any of his skills and just sat there looking gormless. Oh, I tell a lie. He almost swallowed the cube she gave him. She said 'ooh, they don't usually manage to get all of those in their mouths'. So basically he's an idiot with a big gob.

Mrshaworth2b

fluffnutter wrote: »

Freddie's just had his 12 month check with the heath visitor. Despite my saying 'yes, he can do *this*' and 'oh, yeah, he's really good at *that*' he refused to show off any of his skills and just sat there looking gormless. Oh, I tell a lie. He almost swallowed the cube she gave him. She said 'ooh, they don't usually manage to get all of those in their mouths'. So basically he's an idiot with a big gob.

Is it like show and tell? Do you have to prove they can do things lol! Nothing wrong with a big gob lol he'll win at "how many marshmallows can you put in your mouth" games

fluffnutter

I don't think you have to prove anything. I guess they take your word for it. But it's a bit embarrassing when you're extolling your child's virtues and bigging them up to be some genius and they're just sat there gently dribbling and guffing.

janninew

fluffnutter wrote: »

I don't think you have to prove anything. I guess they take your word for it. But it's a bit embarrassing when you're extolling your child's virtues and bigging them up to be some genius and they're just sat there gently dribbling and guffing.

Don't worry, Poppy makes me out to be a fibber every month when we see the Consultant!! Last visit he said 'can she wave bye bye?' Yes she can but would she show him - nope!! He said' can she clap her hands?' Yes she can but would she show him - nope!! Luckily he takes my word for it! She has started crawling recently and we see the physio at home 3 times a week and will she crawl in front of him? Will she heck as like!! Soon as he leaves she's off like a bullet from a gun whizzing around crawling!! :rotfl:

Seems to be sods law, like when your car goes wrong and you take it to the garage and it drives like a dream!!