Annoying (pregnant) friend

heartbreak_star

My advice? (Please, everyone, bear in mind I never intend having any children and at best find the idea of motherhood bemusing)

Grit your teeth, be happy for her, but do repeat every so often that there are other things to talk about. Last friend I had that was a baby bore when pregnant, I eventually announced very loudly - after 5 MONTHS- "Well done - you had sex with what you consider to be an appropriate outcome. Nice work. Now can we talk about something other than the successful outcome of your rampant bonking please?" I was embarrassed I said it...but she had a hearty chuckle!

And to keep your sanity, have a chuckle at this: http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Patience is a bit of a virtue here

HBS x

ChopinonaBudget

heartbreak_star wrote: »

My advice? (Please, everyone, bear in mind I never intend having any children and at best find the idea of motherhood bemusing)

Grit your teeth, be happy for her, but do repeat every so often that there are other things to talk about. Last friend I had that was a baby bore when pregnant, I eventually announced very loudly - after 5 MONTHS- "Well done - you had sex with what you consider to be an appropriate outcome. Nice work. Now can we talk about something other than the successful outcome of your rampant bonking please?" I was embarrassed I said it...but she had a hearty chuckle!

And to keep your sanity, have a chuckle at this: http://www.stfuparentsblog.com/

Patience is a bit of a virtue here

HBS x

I just spent far too long on that website when I should have been transcribing scores! Very funny, thank you!!!

Back to work now

an9i77

OP I've not read all the posts in this thread but your first post reminded me of myself towards the end of my first pregnancy. I used to joke to my friends saying all conversations lead to baby as no matter what the conversation started as, I'd find a way to relate it to my pregnancy somehow. I was aware of what i was doing, but couldn't stop it as i was soooooo excited and kind of made a bit of a joke about it, but I'm sure I ended up being quite annoying to some people although I tried to interact with other parents a lot so that we could talk about their child/experiences.
I also joined a bumps and babies group so I could talk to other new or expectant mothers and we could all blether on about it til the cows came home without boring anyone.

Maybe your friend could try this? They're run in most areas by the NCT for ladies who are pregnant (bumps) or have a child up to one (babies)


Incidentally I am now pregnant with no. 2 and don't have nearly so much of a need to go on about it - been there done that!

Ladyhawk

When I still had my two cats, after a couple of hours baby chat I would say in a very earnest voice about how wonderful my cats were and launch into a short but incredibly dull anecdote about them. The usual response... Um... have we talking too much about babies again..?

KxMx

I've found it fascinating among my own friends, those who have turned into baby bores aren't the ones I thought might be. A couple feel the need to mention their kids and how clever/cute they are a minimum of 6 times per day on facebook. And rarely, if ever, talk about anything else. Others seem satisfied with a couple times a week.

I have two friends pregnant with their second and one has said little since the pregnancy was announced outside scan updates but the other (who admittedly has been very unwell) mentions it about 4 times a day on facebook.

She has come out and said people tell her she only talks about babies but says it is her whole life, which it actually isn't because she has other family, friends, goes on nights out and is training to do nails so while i'm sure babies are the most important part of her life, they are not her whole life by any means.

SavingPennies_2

It doesnt matter what the suject is, the topic of conversation between two friends should never be one sided all of the time. Its incredibly draining. I have some friends who have had babies and it is pretty much the only topic of conversation, when I get a word in I can see thier eyes glaze over and it quickly swtches back to babies. I can see these friends drifting from me and becoming closer to mums who want to talk babies constantly like themselves, i guess its natural.

fluffnutter

TBH, I know I've suggested that the OP cuts her friend a bit of slack... but I don't talk about babies to my friends that don't have kids (my son's 7 months old now). I didn't talk about pregnancy either. I think it's incredibly rude and self-obsessed

But... I also think that friendships are fluid and we all have to give a little more at times. I think I'd put up with it a while longer in the hope that she eventually calms down.

Triangle

About 5 years ago my best friend was pregnant. At that time I wasn't the slightest bit interested in babies - me and my now DH had just bought a house and we having so much fun, partying lots etc etc. She was fine throughout the pregnancy but once her son was here that was it - she literally had no other conversation at all. I was expected to always go to her and to coo at the baby. It was such a struggle and we drifted apart, haven't seen/spoken in 3 years. Having a one sided friendship is so draining.

However, this whole experience has certainly helped having now had my own child. I really do try to be so careful to limit conversation about the boy and my new pregnancy. Last night I went to visit a friend (again something I make a concious effort to do so I'm not always distracted). I gave very short answers when she asked how little man was (despite me wanting to launch into an in depth discussion about how cheesy his grins have become) and instead asked many questions about her horse. I'm not a fan of horses at all - but give and take is what friendship has to be about.

koalamummy

I have read through this with interest as I did not realise so many became almost obsessive about their pregnancies. With mine apart from the initial statement that I was pregnant, which was more to do with the probability of a medical emergency arising as a result of another ongoing condition than any overwhelming need to share. I felt friends should be aware of the possibility of this happening while in their company and should also know what to do and who to contact. Aside from this I never brought up anything pregnancy or child related matters at all with friends and family unless they specifically asked, except for occasional saying that I could not meet up on a specific day due to a pre arranged hospital appointment.

I kept quiet for two main reasons though, the first was an absolute terror that each pregnancy may not have a successful outcome. The second was that I worked with a lady who had suffered recurrent miscarriages and I had no idea who else may be in the same situation as her but just didn't discuss it. I didn't want to be insensitive.

liliesnlace85

It might just be the initial excitement of it all and maybe she'll calm down once she adjusted to the situation.

Perhaps just try to subtly change the subject and talk about something you've been doing?