grandparent keeping child's money

mountainofdebt

Well I'm in a sort of similar situation to the OP.

I haven't really spoken to my father for nearly 23 years and a few years ago, my sister (who has maintained contact) told me that when / if Junior went to Uni my father was going to give him a sum of money.

Now that money hasn't materalised and you know what? I'm not bothered whether Junior receives it or not as I would see it as hypocritical for me to be jumping up and down about getting money off someone who couldn't be asked to build up a relationship with his grandson and who I have no feelings about at all.

mountainofdebt

istanbul09 wrote: »

thanks for your support ribena- can I ask any of you who are grandparents what you would do if your grandchildren were struggling and you had the means of helping them even if you had a feud with your son- would you cast them aside?

depends whether I had a relationship with said grandchild -if there was one then yes I would but if no then they would be nothing more than another teenager

istanbul09

bit harsh? may as well give the money to the teenager standing on the street corner

sassyblue

istanbul09 wrote: »

thanks for your support ribena- can I ask any of you who are grandparents what you would do if your grandchildren were struggling and you had the means of helping them even if you had a feud with your son- would you cast them aside?

I know my own mum would never do such a thing, but then people are different.

It must be infuriating but your mum doesn't have to do what is right or expected, the fact that you have asked for must please your mum greatly if there's a feud and she still won't give them the money but you must get over it and move on. That will annoy your mum more than waiting for her to do what you think is right.

istanbul09

Sassy,

very perceptive response- infuriating for me as well and not easy to move on when I know that my grandchildren have been treated awfully by someone who should have unconditional love and the ability to demonstrate that with practical help instead of throwing in my face- they are your children you support them- when I have done that unconditionally for many years

mountainofdebt

istanbul09 wrote: »

bit harsh? may as well give the money to the teenager standing on the street corner

but don't you see that if your mum doesn't have a relationship with your children then that's all they are?

ILW

istanbul09 wrote: »

thanks for your support ribena- can I ask any of you who are grandparents what you would do if your grandchildren were struggling and you had the means of helping them even if you had a feud with your son- would you cast them aside?

If they or their parent started making an issue of it and assuming some sort of right to the cash, I would arrange for the lot to go to charity.

thorsoak

istanbul09 wrote: »

Sassy,

very perceptive response- infuriating for me as well and not easy to move on when I know that my grandchildren have been treated awfully by someone who should have unconditional love and the ability to demonstrate that with practical help instead of throwing in my face- they are your children you support them- when I have done that unconditionally for many years

Does your mother not deserve your support as well - especially as she ages?

Macca83_2

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

The money is to be used for uni fees - so I'd say it was entirely in their best interests. Who died and made you the boss of the OP?

I dunno...

But dwelling on this money isn't in the best interests of anyone. I don't think anyone wins

istanbul09

I think we have gone as far as we can on this subject now.

Thanks for your comments some of which I have taken on board and which have caused me to rethink and examine my attitude so for that I am grateful.I have decided to chill a bit but I know that it will keep gnawing away at me and that I will never be able to understand the lack of support from my mother.Maybe I am wrong in trying to fight for my children- I do not know