grandparent keeping child's money

Gigglepig

IMO These are two different issues entirely and it may help to keep them separate

- whether grandchildren are 'entitled' to a gift in the first place
- what happens if gifts have been given in the past but held in an account by the grandparent, who later refuses to hand it over

Morally, once a gift has been given it should not be taken back. If the grandparent has been quietly saving this is not the same in my book as if they have 'given' money on special occasions which it turns out later they don't want to hand over. Morally, Grandma cannot both have her cake (be the generous grandma giving birthday presents) and eat it (keep said birthday money for her own purposes).

OP i would have been upset too if someone was making noises about their generosity, potentially for years, and then did not keep their word.

Though grandma may of course have her own reasons and very possibly also feels let down if you have fallen out. Perhaps to her, an implicit condition of this gift (which she failed to mention?) was that you/child continued to meet her expectations.... Or perhaps it was not a gift but a possible future gift.

thorsoak

juliebunny wrote: »

That's what you got from my post????????????? How did I say that????

No wonder the OP doesn't want to give any further details, she is being ripped apart like a gazella by a pack of wolves on this thread by some people!

If that was MY child, I would be really upset for them. That is a mothers right and instinct to protect her children. Of course we don't know all the facts, and we never will now....

Were I the grandmother, I would be equally upset at the fact that my daughter and I had had such a falling out which lasted for 20 years.

Person_one

thorsoak wrote: »

Were I the grandmother, I would be equally upset at the fact that my daughter and I had had such a falling out which lasted for 20 years.

There are two sides to every story remember, the feud could be the responsibility of either or both parties.

Macca83_2

15 or so years ago, I remember my great aunt telling me and my brother that she'd opened a savings account for us both and would pay in for us over the coming years. I have never seen this money. It wouldn't even occur to me to ask for it... Why should it? The money was never mine to begin with.

Maybe the grandmother intended the money as an inheritance. Maybe she wanted to help the children buy their first house, maybe she wanted to give it as a wedding gift, who knows. But I do know that if I was the grandmother, the insistent questions as to where the money is would certainly get my back up.

thorsoak

Person_one wrote: »

There are two sides to every story remember, the feud could be the responsibility of either or both parties.

I did not presume otherwise - did I suggest anything else?

Top_Girl

I don't think the grandmother should be taking out her feud with the mother on the grandchildren. That's all.

CH27

Top_Girl wrote: »

I don't think the grandmother should be taking out her feud with the mother on the grandchildren. That's all.

But you have no idea what the feud is or if the grandchildren have bothered to be in contact the their grandmother.

Macca83_2

Top_Girl wrote: »

I don't think the grandmother should be taking out her feud with the mother on the grandchildren. That's all.

But who says she is? we don't know what the grandmothers intentions are. Like I said she could be saving it for a specific occasion.

My grandmother has set aside money for her grandkids in her will. If she changed her mind tomorrow I wouldn't care. Its her money. She should enjoy it

istanbul09

see to have stirred up quite a hornets nest on this.

the bottom line is that I have the best interests of my children at heart nothing more and nothing less.The relationship with my mother is dead and buried even though some of you may find that difficult to understand.I am not motivated by personal gain, vengeance or greed.I would just like a grandparent whose declared intention was to save for her grandchildren to honour that

CH27

istanbul09 wrote: »

see to have stirred up quite a hornets nest on this.

the bottom line is that I have the best interests of my children at heart nothing more and nothing less.The relationship with my mother is dead and buried even though some of you may find that difficult to understand.I am not motivated by personal gain, vengeance or greed.I would just like a grandparent whose declared intention was to save for her grandchildren to honour that

Have your children remained in contact with your mother?