career woman or stay at home wife

Bluemeanie_2

Career. I have read too many threads on the CSA website about women who gave up careers to raise the kids, then left with nothing when the marriage breaks down and he goes self employed. You got to take care of yourself financially in this day and age. Not rely on anyone else for money.

BritAbroad

I've always worked full time for have been a stay at home wife for the past couple of years (though I'm at home as little as possible!) Not really through choice, I had to wait for paperwork to permit me to work when we moved here. I've now got that but the jobs market is poor. I've always had 'good' (though not necessarily enjoyable) jobs, and in truth I'd be totally demoralised if I had to take something that I really didn't want - I'd probably pack up and head back to Blighty first. Luckily, we're in a decent position so I can hold on for something I want when the time is right.

I do voluntary work which I enjoy, and have some hobbies, play sports and do a lot on the renovations of our house. I'm generally not bored as a rule. I could never be a conventional housewife, cooking, cleaning, running my life around kids. That would drive me insane in less than a week. I do have friends with kids and their schedule is so restrictive it's crazy (even the one with babies, never mind school-agers). One of the many reasons I won't ever have kids. I do like having the flexibility to do my own thing, and will miss that aspect when I start working again. Also, my husband's work schedule is a nightmare with evening and weekend work and overseas travel being the norm, so it is nice to get pockets of time together, which will reduce drastically if I'm working full time too. But for my own stimulation, I do intend to work again, probably sometime in the next year.

VfM4meplse

fluffnutter wrote: »

I wondered if that were the case, but VfM4meplse's post merely said 'working's good for you' and then mentioned that the money might come in handy, suggesting that the definition of work was solely paid work.

That was a flippant comment, hence the ":D" - if you feel the money's not required, it could always be donated to a good cause. It all fits in with the spectrum of offering something back to society - that includes raising well-adjusted and socially conscious children rather than thugs - it's about the useful deployment of resource which is different to cold hard cash.

good_vibes

If I was ever lucky to have children, I would work part-time in my job

Scorpio33

Initially, my thoughts were - if I can afford to be at home (Children or not), then great. Why work when I don't have to? I can find more than enough things to keep me busy - I can take up hobbies and do things I want to do.

But then I thought - what if the relationship ended? I would not have any career, and may not be able to afford the same lifestyle on my own, so I would resent the fact that I have stayed at home and failing to become independant, and potentially be starting a career a lot later than I otherwise would have.

Saying that, given the choice, I think that if kids were involved, I would love to stay at home full time with the kids, before they reach school age. I truely beleive that the best person to bring up my own kids is me - and if I can afford to stay at home to bring them up, I would. Obviously when they reach school age, I would then be looking for work around school hours...

dundeediva

sky89line wrote: »

Hi guys,

I will have a debate on it. Please help me .I need some ideas


Which one would you choose? and way?

For me it comes down to one question- could i afford to be a sahm?

If i could (and I mean without getting state handouts etc) then I would.
If i couldn't afford it, I wouldn't do it


edit- commented then read other comments, realising it was re sahw, i still think the same applies tbh...

Hermia

sky89line wrote: »

Hi guys,

I will have a debate on it. Please help me .I need some ideas


Which one would you choose? and way?

For me there are just too many options besides 'career woman' or stay at home wife.

If I won the lottery I would definitely give up work as I don't love my job, but I would not be happy being supported by someone else (I don't want kids BTW). I would always worry about what would happen if he left me and I like to be financially independent. I also wouldn't be happy looking after a man as my job. I know some women get a lot of enjoyment from looking after a home, but I wouldn't. On the other hand if I could make a full-time living from my hobby I would not want to give up work.


BTW, are you intending to stage this debate as part of a course of something? The 'either/or' nature of the question seems a bit simplistic.

clairemosa

I choose being a Career woman, but that doesn't make you less as a mother. Just have to manage your time for wok and for your kids. For me I find it more self worth if I work and being a mom to my kids.
Hope you get to decide well for your family. God speed.

jellyhead

Scorpio33 wrote: »

Initially, my thoughts were - if I can afford to be at home (Children or not), then great. Why work when I don't have to? I can find more than enough things to keep me busy - I can take up hobbies and do things I want to do.

But then I thought - what if the relationship ended? I would not have any career, and may not be able to afford the same lifestyle on my own, so I would resent the fact that I have stayed at home and failing to become independant, and potentially be starting a career a lot later than I otherwise would have.

Saying that, given the choice, I think that if kids were involved, I would love to stay at home full time with the kids, before they reach school age. I truely beleive that the best person to bring up my own kids is me - and if I can afford to stay at home to bring them up, I would. Obviously when they reach school age, I would then be looking for work around school hours...

I think my husband would be just as good as I am at bringing up the children. Men can't breastfeed but they can be excellent parents in other respects.

lazer

jellyhead wrote: »

I think my husband would be just as good as I am at bringing up the children. Men can't breastfeed but they can be excellent parents in other respects.

I believe that the best person to bring up my child is me or my husband (and I am sure Scorpio meant either parent too)

I believe that if its financially viable one parent at home is best (But probably becuase that was the way I was brought up - and most of my friends and relatives - the mothers give up work to have children) - but every couple have to amke their own decisions and do what is right for them and their child