career woman or stay at home wife

onlyroz

For me, career. But people should make the decision that's best for their own family.

edeneve

I choose both!

I was a high flying career woman...but after becoming a single mum to a large brood of kids, I couldn't do commute and 7am-7pm days anymore so ended up leaving and since have done variety of PT jobs that work around kids so can do school runs and avoid extortionate childcare fees.

I now have 2 younger kids too but again single mum after my prince charming turned prince cheater so I now have my own business, which I run online from home, so I feel like a working stay at home mum....it's hard at times as older kids don't see me working as at school/college and so treat me like I haven't been working and just chilling all day..as if lol.

The business is growing (its first year) but have made more than in my last PT job (which was awful), I've had to deduct start up costs this year and have made mistakes but know next year will be better and hope to double income. I also am setting up a second business, which is run exactly same but with a different focus...as together both should give a FT income and still work around kids.

I love being at home for kids, I hated not being able to be involved at schools, pick them up and always feeling in a race when working FT...now I'm not as well off being a single mum, don't have posh cars and lavish holidays....but we have a nice large house, practical car and a camper, which from May-October we go away in as often as possible. We have more time with each other, I'm there for them, can enjoy time for arts and crafts and just enjoy a slower pace of life. Its lovely being able to see the little one's grow each day.

When the younger ones are at school I may go back pt into my old line of work but intend keeping my business going too....so I can still do school runs and pick ups and have a little bit of everything...we'll see though as I don't know what will happen in next few years....

lostinrates

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I go back to work in 6 weeks after Mat leave. If I didn;t have choldren I could never be a stay at home wife....there is only so much gym, cleaning, reading, watching Jezza and this morning, having lunch out that one can do.

There is lots more to do than that, and frankly even that can be more stimulating than some jobs! (the alternative to stay at home wife always seems to be a very interesting and fulfilling career in debated like this, but in reality many people do not find fulfillment in their work or enjoy their workplace). If you take out the watching tv you have just described the lives of many of my working friends, only they get less choice over what they read and they get paid for it.

As a stay at home wife in many circumstances you are limited in your activity by finance (which for some lucky people is little restriction) schedule, which varies hugely depending opn the couple and other career/s involved and imagination. For many this leaves a far more varied and intersting schedule. It's very different to maternity leave for six weeks.

Otherthings I have done with my time include using particular skills for charitable work, doing unskilled charity work, indulging in various hobbies and interests and helping friends with things. I recently gave up a small column in a small publication (unpaid) and am now on a commitee for organising a regional not for profit music event. A friend is having trouble with her small business and I am in a position to offer some practical solutions to that.

There is also a point of economic benefit to consider. By not working when you do not need aIthe income you make available a job for a job market where we have many skilled workers unable to find employment.

As it happens, a coule of years ago my husband and I set up a micro business that we didn't expect to make profit, but already is. So I am not a true stay at home wife anymore, but the work revolves around I have interest in and is part time, and something I would have done for free at some points in my life. But should (when?) I return to being a full time stay at home wife I will have plenty of occupation!

Tiddlywinks

flutterby_lil wrote: »

I go back to work in 6 weeks after Mat leave. If I didn;t have choldren I could never be a stay at home wife....there is only so much gym, cleaning, reading, watching Jezza and this morning, having lunch out that one can do.

But keeping pretty for the man in your life could be your reason for living... hair, nails, botox, health club, clothes shopping etc

Not forgetting making sure all of his needs are catered for... dry cleaning, managing his golf club / rugby club / Rotary diary dates to prevent any clashes, managing the cleaner, ironing lady etc .

Finally, you'd be doing your own little bit for charity as well...

How would you fit it all in?

Lilith1980

I have no plans to have children and would claw my own eyes out if I was indoors all day every day.

That said, OH and I both work full-time and I am finding myself daydreaming about working part-time. Even if it was 30 hours a week so that we had 3 days off together to go out for walks or potter around, that would be nice. 2 days off just doesn't seem enough.

I feel this is coming with age, although I'm only 32 and feel pretty burnt-out already :rotfl:

stir_crazy

Career all the way. I enjoy my work, and enjoy the lifestyle that we have because we both work full time. I could only stay at home if we had children, and we have no plans for that. Or if I could work from home, but then I would probably feel like I should do more housework because I was at home all day.

serious_saver

If our income would allow it I would very happily be a stay at home wife.

I have a good friend who is a stay at home wife. Initially she stopped working because of an accident but they have since realised that they get by comfortably without her salary. Because her husband's shifts are constantly changing it means that they can guarantee to have time off together. It was difficult for them when she had weekends off and he didn't.

EDIT
That doesn't mean I would want to sit at home all day. I would still find things to occupy myself with.

Hermia

Person_one wrote: »

Will your partner be a career man or a stay at home husband?

I know several couples where the wife earns considerably more than the husband so that is a very relevant question. I thought the phrase "career woman" went out in the 1990s.

lostinrates

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

But keeping pretty for the man in your life could be your reason for living... hair, nails, botox, health club, clothes shopping etc
?

Something I have to admit is that the women I know who work outside the home are generally better turned out, which is a shame, because as you say, it's certainly possible to make time for that.

Person_one

Hermia wrote: »

I know several couples where the wife earns considerably more than the husband so that is a very relevant question. I thought the phrase "career woman" went out in the 1990s.

Its relevant because nobody ever asks these kinds of questions about men.

Nobody has ever asked a man with a job and a family "How do you manage to balance working with looking after the kids?" or told a single man "work might seem important now, but your priorities will change when you get broody!"

There are so many double standards when it comes to gender, work and children that it makes my head hurt.