"friends" who love drama

sportbeth

Hi,

Does anyone have one of these? and have you fallen out with them because you've tried to walk away from it? I am going to keep this as basic and factual as possible as I can't quite believe it myself.

My best friend has fallen out with me over the following:-

2 years ago I deleted a mutual friend on facebook. She was overheard by a number of people voicing her opinion about my marriage separation, very unsupportive and elusive to my calls and texts at the time. I only have 50 friends on facebook & I am very selective about who I share what information with. So I deleted her.

Fast forward two weeks to christmas eve. My best friend finds out that I have deleted this woman, sends a group text message to 5 people saying if we can't be adults then none of us are invited to her house and tells us how shocked she is. (clearly my deletion is discovered on xmas eve then) I later find out from speaking to a mutual friend that everyone else has gone to my best friend's house whilst I have politely stayed away and my best friend has refused to answer any of my calls as she is too upset to talk to me.

Later that day I get a text message saying that I am also no longer welcome at her house on xmas day. This was the first christmas after my husband and I were separated so as you can imagine, I was gutted.

Fast forward a month or so, I feel the need to keep the peace and apologise for "what I did" and for ruining everybody's christmas. I have never bumped into the woman I deleted since and it hasnt been an issue.

Last week having not heard from my friend since christmas (a few texts that I've sent her with one word replies from her so slightly iffy vibes coming to me from her end) and I get a long winded message on facebook (not a phone call) saying that her husband's birthday is coming up, and the ex-facebook friend's husband has said he will come to the party but only if I dont come. So the request from my friend is for me to "fall on my sword because of what I did". Am I right to think that this is all a bit pathetic?

I replied saying that this was fine, and if two grown adults can't bear to be in the same room as me for a couple of hours and be grown up about it then I'm not particularly bothered. Now my friend has picked a fight with me, because I'm not bothered by her request.

Is this just self perpetuating drama?

My big issue here is that my friend didnt stick up for me and tell everybody to grow up, I genuinely think that she enjoys a good rumble with people and when I think back through history, she has always been falling out with someone. I also feel slightly aggrieved that mid last year she asked me to be a guarantor on her mortgage when she was considering leaving her husband, which I agreed to in spite of the fact that it would have potentially jeopardised the security of my own home. I haven't thrown this back in her face yet but I would have hoped that this would have returned a bit of loyalty over a facebook argument!

I'm in my mid thirties by the way just in case anyone is wondering. And so is she.

Am I being unreasonable?

peachyprice

Jesus, why do grown women live their lives through facebook. :wall:

bluestarlight

You are all too old for facebook drama. Just leave it all behind and concentrate on your real friends.

moneysaymoneydo

I think you all sound like peas in a pod, facebook, "in not having you as a fwend now" delete, text, "your not coming to my party" back to playgroup for you all! Pafetic!

missindecisive

get rid of em all. find new friends. and sack off facebook.end of.

Okydoky25

Walk away. From the sounds of it she could not have been that good a friend to fall out with you in the 1st place. Her loss

poet123

Are you both 11?

onlyroz

It all sounds tremendously petty. Surely it's no business of your friends who you choose to have on your facebook friend list? And why is removing somebody such a big deal anyway? I suggest you ignore the lot of them and find some new friends.

Jox

I hope you wouldn't be a guarantor for a friend's mortgage...

Own_My_Own

Just delete them all from facebook or stop using it. Get new friends.

I have a facebook account with 17 people on it. They are all members of my family. We use it to keep in touch. No bickering, no gossip, no childish antics.

bluenoseam

She was talking about your marriage separation in a manner which you didn't like & not being supportive, now forgive me for pointing something out, no one is obliged to see things from your perspective. As an adult you're allowed to formulate your own opinions on things, as unpopular as they may be it's your right to hold them & express them.

I think a lot of this is everyone acting like children & as adults you should have sorted this out at the start rather than "it's my ball and I'm going home".