He loves me but isnt in love with me?

PinkPink

So me and OH have been having problems for a while, but we are working through these problems.
He dropped the bombshell that he loves me but isnt in love with me, he says that the problems we have been having have masked his feelings towards me and he doesnt have the initial spark/butterflies feelings for me that he used to have (we have been together 7 years)
He says that he wants to be with me and wants to work through this and he says he believes that these feelings will come back (once we fix our problems)
Am i just fighting a losing battle or should i believe him that he will get these feelings back, or should i just cut my losses and move out?
My feelings havent changed and i do still love him and am in love with him, any ideas?

VestanPance

The spark/butterflies isn't love, it's initial lust. Anyone who expects feelings like those after 7 years is foolish.

Him saying he loves you but isn't in love with you would be a huge worry to me. That suggests he views you more as a friend or room-mate. Have you both got in a routine and daily grind and not been spending quality time together?

PinkPink

We both dont work (i was ill for quiet sometime but i am getting better now) so we are always together but this isnt quality time, but whenever i suggest doing something he doesnt want to (has always been like this tho)
The problems we were having started small but gradually built up into something big (no cheating or things like that just problems with me)
Our relationship hasnt changed we are still intimate etc but he is not one for showing me love or anything like that (but has always been like that)

Jox

Why can't he move out? or move him to the sofa?

PinkPink

He owns the house not me. I dont get why he or me would sleep on the sofa if there is a chance we could work this out?

CH27

PinkPink wrote: »

So me and OH have been having problems for a while, but we are working through these problems.
He dropped the bombshell that he loves me but isnt in love with me, he says that the problems we have been having have masked his feelings towards me and he doesnt have the initial spark/butterflies feelings for me that he used to have (we have been together 7 years)
He says that he wants to be with me and wants to work through this and he says he believes that these feelings will come back (once we fix our problems)
Am i just fighting a losing battle or should i believe him that he will get these feelings back, or should i just cut my losses and move out?
My feelings havent changed and i do still love him and am in love with him, any ideas?

That's positive.
Can your problems be fixed? Do you have a plan in place to fix them?

PinkPink

Yeah its just stupid stuff to be honest but i just never fixed it, so i am trying to sort it now. I just keep breaking down thinking its not going to work

Jox

He feels love for you maybe like a sister but isn't in love with you.
Is there someone else in the picture?
He may not be telling you the truth.
You've been together 7 years, have you contributed to the mortgage? Where's your financial security?

PinkPink

Its a long story with the house, but i cant touch it, have known all along and this doesnt bother me. No there isnt anyone else we are pretty much always together and i know how much he disagrees with cheating, he would rather leave me than do that.

CH27

PinkPink wrote: »

Yeah its just stupid stuff to be honest but i just never fixed it, so i am trying to sort it now. I just keep breaking down thinking its not going to work

You both need to sit down & work out how to fix your problems & then talk about your future.

PinkPink

Thanks, think that is this evenings "chat" x