Trying for a Baby Part 9

danielley

Hi all,

Feeling a bit blue today. My OH and I have been TTC for nearly a year and we have not told our families that we are trying, as we didn't want any pressure but also wanted to be able to say 'Ta-da' when I got pregnant.

Anyway it has backfired a little as because they dont know our plans, my family are frequently badgering me about trying for a baby, which now we are struggling is quite upsetting. Tonight one of my relatives said that she had assumed I dont want kids...... i didn't know what to say.

I know that things could be a lot worse but AF is due in a couple of days and we didn't do the baby dance very often this month so I'm not expecting a BFP.

Apologies for the miserable post...

beautybutterfly

danielley wrote: »

Hi all,

Feeling a bit blue today. My OH and I have been TTC for nearly a year and we have not told our families that we are trying, as we didn't want any pressure but also wanted to be able to say 'Ta-da' when I got pregnant.

Anyway it has backfired a little as because they dont know our plans, my family are frequently badgering me about trying for a baby, which now we are struggling is quite upsetting. Tonight one of my relatives said that she had assumed I dont want kids...... i didn't know what to say.

I know that things could be a lot worse but AF is due in a couple of days and we didn't do the baby dance very often this month so I'm not expecting a BFP.

Apologies for the miserable post...

Don't worry this is often the place to be miserable and a bit angry. I haven't told my family I'm trying simply because I didn't want them expecting a baby. Good job really because I've now been a year trying and nothing has happened. Soo many people fall into the trap of thinking that things will happen immediately, this thread is here to tell you that you're not alone :-) xxx

fluffnutter

teaandcakeordeath wrote: »

Hi 159! Welcome to our TTC thread....

My advice would be as follows:

1. Live your life AS NORMALLY AS POSSIBLE. Seriously, I can't stress it enough! TTC will drive you mad if you let it. It's too late for me, I'm too far gone but it does you no good to become obsessed.
2. Take 400mg folic acid a day- I assume you already are....

With regards to temping and observing CM I would discuss that with your OH. If he doesn't like OPKs he's not going to like being woken up by a beeping thermometer at exactly the same time everyday! I think temping can be quite stressful (in my experience) as you spend weeks looking for ov temp rises, then you spend weeks dreading a drop. My temp usually drops about 3 days before AF and it's very disheartening. Plus your PH thinks you're mental for crying over a temperature....

CM observing is much simpler and your OH won't know if you don't want him too. For the best information on temping and CM I'd do the fertility course on https://www.fertilityfriend.com if I were you. There's also a good website on cervix monitoring https://www.beautifulcervix.com though it is graphic so probably not for work computers....

From my own personal TTC 'journey' *eurgh* I would stress the following:

1. Talk to your OH and make sure he's on the same page as you. Does he realise there's a small fertile window. My OH believed when we started that you could get pregnant at any time during a cycle. He became a lot more understanding when I had the birds and bees talk with him... :rotfl:
2. Don't delay in asking your GP for help. If you're still TTC in June go and start the ball rolling. We waited for 18 months and it's taken 6 months after that to find out that I have half a uterus and OH's sperm is totally lazy (we're both 29- to say this news has been a shocker is an understatement). We've got our IVF initial appointment soon- It could've been 6 far less stressful months ago though...
3. Don't symptom spot... Google is not your friend. It's unlikely to have pregnancy symptoms before your missed period and AF symptoms are exactly the same as pregnancy symptoms....
4. Don't expect a BFP at 6 DPO.... That's crazy talk. :rotfl:
5. Don't keep it to yourself. Whether you use a forum or have a real life friend who you can talk to about the crazy things you're thinking/ doing- keep talking!

Wow... Sorry about the long post!

You forgot...

6. When you get your BFP, POST A PICTURE FOR FLUFFNUTTER

ttc39

Still light bleeding.. Not sure whether cd3 or cd22

Feel ok, just puzzled.

Glad it's Friday, think we all seem fed up this month.. What with knowing no 2013 baby and also this weird weather! Sunshine makes most things seems lot better :-( rain here today :-(

purcy81

Hugs ttc39 I hate confusing cycles

Just spoke to the cb trial people and I'm not eligible booo

Off to work now hugs to all x

Birdie85

purcy81 wrote: »

Oh TCD whilst I totally agree with your entire post is it wrong of me to imagine you saying this bit with a full on B A Baracas voice?

I pity the fool who Poas at 6 dpo

:rotfl: Thanks for cheering me up first thing this morning! :rotfl:

TCD's post should absolutely go on the first page (with Purcy's addition!) and maybe ought to be posted every month to keep newbies (and obsessive oldies) in check!

TCD, good luck getting the money back from Duo. I'm sure they'll try to wriggle out of it as much as possible and I think personally I'd be willing to write off £100 or so for admin fees if it meant getting £400 back. Any less than that and I'd be telling them that I'll be contacting Watchdog, and going through with the threat!

Anyhoo, back to why I was feeling miserable: not calling it quite yet but AF is certainly coming to town.

I'm convinced I'm broken. Why do I have to wait 'till the 2 year mark to have my tubes checked?! Has anyone had more checks other than the normal bloods and scan before the 2 year point?

159

Teaandcakeordeath wow thank you for that post. Some great advice for a newby. Unfortunetely I may already be in the slightly obsessive category of TTC! (And guilty of SS )

I do try to 'live life noramlly' but it does take up most of my thoughts. I must admit I was very naive about TTC, expecting it to happen straight away and not a clue so many couples struggle!

OH is on the same page with me as to WANTING a baby (and most definetely the trying!!) but says he feels pressure when I mention ovulation etc - maybe just a man thing in general?!

Thank you for advice r.e temping - had no idea it was quite so in depth (again shamefacedly naive sorry!) Will check out those websites r.e. cm when safe to

I have been taking folic acid since around April last year, assume you can continue this indefinetely...

I was thinking I would wait until the year mark to go to GP. Any advice on what to expect from them?

Have not yet told any family or friends we are TTC (added pressure??) so may be joining you lovely people to share and keep track of your journeys

Danielley - mine and OH families and our friends are constantly asking 'when are you having kids' 'when you making us grandparents' so on and so forth. I just smile and say 'when WE are ready' It can be hard not to just tell them 'we are trying!'

Thank you everyone for the welcoming words and advice.

Good luck to all!

thriftylass

I'm officially CD5. Took my temp this morning and it was 36.2 which is close to my usual baseline (not temped this month but that's what I got before as bl) and a test this morning was neg. So it was just an odd short AF. Heyho. Better get BDing next week then. Need to make more of an effort.

picklekin

Birdie85 wrote: »

Has anyone had more checks other than the normal bloods and scan before the 2 year point?

I have a referral for a tube test and we have been trying less than a year, I can use it when I want. They said its up to me but it has to be within 7-10 days of my cycle, they "advised" me to wait as its an invasive process but I'll be phoning up next time I get AF.

I am 35 though so that might make a difference, I'm also pushy as hell :P

Kynthia

I think the NHS don't start these expensive tests because most people dont have a problem to find and will conceive naturally within 2 years. However if you are 35 plus then you haven't got time to wait 2 years because if you do need assistance you will be approaching to upper age limit for NHS help.

I know it must be frustrating for some of you younger ones when you hear some of us talking about getting blood tests after 6 months and scans at 8/12 months when you've been trying longer, but we have a scary deadline approaching of being too old and it never happening for us without tens of thousands of pounds and possibly egg donation too. So just keep BD and start visiting the GP after a year to lay the groundwork for future tests.

Apologies if any of the above sounded patronising as it really wasn't meant to. Most of us are medically fine but impatient as we thought it would happen quickly after trying so hard to prevent it for most of our lives. :rotfl: