Eh?

starrybee

marisco wrote: »

I agree with the poster who suggested booking into a hotel for the first night and meeting this girl in a public place. If he feels happy and safe he can then choose to travel to her home.

I agree with this too, get a taxi from the airport to the hotel as well. I'd rather be ripped off by an overpriced taxi than taken who-knows-where by who-know-who.

In this day and age the webcam thing should really ring alarm bells.

I feel like we're all going to scare you into a panic but some of this stuff doesn't add up and rather be safe than sorry.

uk_american

As a US person in the UK, I read other expat forums where there are plenty of couples who have met online (especially via gaming forums!) They often have wonderful romance stories.

One tip OP: US immigration can be difficult, especially if your son starts to give them a story about how he's staying with a girl he's never met in person, etc. :eek: It would be wise for him to carry all of his return trip details along with her contact details and maybe those of the parents, and potentially a letter from the girl's parents if he'll be staying with them etc. to ensure that he's having sufficient funds for his trip if he only has to pay for meals and trips etc. And personally I'd have a map of the area and alternative hostal numbers, etc. in case it falls through after meeting.

jaqui59

Thankyou all so much for your replies, and the last few posts are echoing my concerns.

I have just picked my son up from work, and asked him lots of questions, and, bless him he is being very honest with his replies, but I don't like those replies one little bit, and am even more worried now.

Its a bit difficult to talk on here right now, but I will get back to you as soon as I can, as I need lots of advice.

Again everyone, thankyou, and speak soon.

make_me_wise

jaqui59 wrote: »

No, they havn't skyped, and apparently she has no web cam facility (sorry im not very technically minded) .. All they have seen of eachother are still images, and spoken through a microphone that I often see on his desk

I dont like the sound of this at all. Is this really the only kind of contact he has had, with someone whom he plans to travel thousand of miles to see alone? Does he not have a landline number or an address for this girl.

Setting up skype is easy. He would be able to see exactly who he was in communication with. These still images he has seen could be anyone, not necessarily the person he thinks he is talking to.

I dont wish to pour cold water on his dream to travel and meet someone he likes. Intuition tells me he is taking a bid risk, this could all end badly and he would be so far from home.

Wyre

While I agree it all sounds a bit odd and there is some investigation to do before he jets off, I just wanted to point out that in this house we have 3 desk top pc's and a laptop and deliberately do not have webcams. Frankly I find them a bit creepy! I wouldn't want my kids to be encouraged to do anything dodgy with them so we don't have them. (The machines are all in the living room as we don't agree with tv's or the like in bed rooms but as the kids are old enough to be left alone at times this way the possibility can't exist.)

Mojisola

Wyre wrote: »

While I agree it all sounds a bit odd and there is some investigation to do before he jets off, I just wanted to point out that in this house we have 3 desk top pc's and a laptop and deliberately do not have webcams. Frankly I find them a bit creepy! I wouldn't want my kids to be encouraged to do anything dodgy with them so we don't have them. (The machines are all in the living room as we don't agree with tv's or the like in bed rooms but as the kids are old enough to be left alone at times this way the possibility can't exist.)

If one of your children had invited a stranger from abroad to stay at your house, wouldn't you want to have a look at him?

If the girl is for real, her mother is being very trusting (or naive) because she doesn't know whether jaqui59's son is genuine.

Calien27

Wyre wrote: »

While I agree it all sounds a bit odd and there is some investigation to do before he jets off, I just wanted to point out that in this house we have 3 desk top pc's and a laptop and deliberately do not have webcams. Frankly I find them a bit creepy! I wouldn't want my kids to be encouraged to do anything dodgy with them so we don't have them. (The machines are all in the living room as we don't agree with tv's or the like in bed rooms but as the kids are old enough to be left alone at times this way the possibility can't exist.)

I can understand your reasons for not having any webcams, but the OP's son is travelling to another country to meet a girl he's only seen pictures of, and well, it's extremely easy to pass photos of someone else off as your own. Plus they've been talking for a year, in that whole time she hasn't been able to get a cheap webcam and set up a Skype, not only to show she is who she says she is but also to see if the OP's son is also genuine.

It's just so fishy.

claire16c

She may well be genuine - and if she is she will have no problems in buying a $5 webcam and proving it.

Watch MTV tonight at 10pm catfish. Some episodes are shocking one model
Guy turned out to be a woman, others, the person is just fatter than their photo.

But the thing that gave them all away was they all refused to use Skype or FaceTime.

Most laptops have built in webcams now or they can be bought or if she has an iPhone u can use FaceTime.

Plus try googling her name. On catfish it was pretty obvious if someone was real or not sometimes by a 5 minute search which for some reason the person in the relationship had never done for years!!

Stephb1986_2

I met my fiance online we spoke for 6 months before meeting up, we webcammed all the time, texted and called eachother. I was still worried about meeting him when we were eventually meeting even though he only lives 25 miles away.

I wouldn't be be going all the way to the states without seeing this person on webcam before I left you read about all this type of thing in Take A Break all the time.

Steph xx

poet123

I would be very worried too. I know he is 20 but there are so many horror stories out there that you really can't be too careful. if he gets into trouble you can't quickly hop on a plane and go and help him, you need an ESTA, travel insurance etc. Almost everyone in long distance relationships use skype. Alarm bells are ringing for me.