Outrageous Liars

kate1976

My ex was a terrible liar which was a shame for him as everything that came out of his mouth was a lie! going missing for a night here and there due to his cheating some of the 'excuses' were actually quite funny thinking back to them now!

"I couldn't come home because I got arrested after being mistaken for a guy who escaped prison a few years ago"

"I was in hospital, I could've died, it was meningitis" He was miraculously cured in 4 hours!!

"I saved a girl from getting battered, then had to spend a night in a safe house"

"I met my dad and we had a few drinks so I stayed there" Good story if only his dad wasn't on holiday at the time!!

"I stopped a burglar and had to spend the night making a statement at the station"

Bless his little lying cotton socks!!

balletshoes

I work with an outrageous liar. She has an Armed Forces fetish, and according to her, her partner (who is in his 50s now) until recently was an active member of the SBS, being deployed here there and everywhere at a moment's notice (in reality, he works for a packing company on shifts). In his long and illustrious military career, he has allegedly been parachute-dropped into Iraq, took a helicpoter ride into the back garden at Windsor Castle with Prince Andrew and the Queen popped into the castle kitchen to say Hello while they were all having a cuppa there, and he has also served on the Royal Yacht. All utter bo**ocks. Oh yeah, and apparently he's also related to Ronnie Biggs :rotfl:.

She's so bare-faced about it, its unreal. She regularly lies to clients at work over the phone, doesn't even bat an eye about it. You could stop her in mid-fabrication and say "that sounds like bo**ocks to me M" and she'd still not back down.

marisco_2

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain.

The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too :cool:

cherylsurrey

I had a customer tell me that his wife had terminal cancer and months to live, I felt so sorry for him, I found out it was totally untrue and he was not even married! he had told someone else he was married and his wife was in a wheelchair due to a serious car accident. This and he was ex SAS, why is it always the SAS! turns out he was never even in the forces. It was sad really that he felt he had to make that kind of stuff up.

An old collegue of mine claimed to have had cancer in his 20s, and we found out that it was not true he actually had kidney stones, it is amazing how many people out there are such terrible liars.

thatlemming

A lad I sat next to in maths at school told everyone he had cancer and had weeks left to live.

Weirdly he was still at school years later, and his mum confirmed he'd never had cancer.

I don't get why you'd say that when clearly you're going to get caught out when you don't die :undecided

sweetsheep84

I had a neighbour continuously telling lies.

We have a lot of late night parties (my son was 3 years old then and going to nursery 5 days a week. By weekend, me and OH are often just watching tv all day)

We bang on our ceiling each time he has a fit (errr my flat was at least double of my height and i am not tall enough to do that. And as if i have the time and energy to sit down on my sofa listening to him upstairs having a fit)

We give him abuse (we dont even talk to him so how do we give him abuse??)

My OH slept with another neighbour on the communal stairs (LOL right as if. They dislike each other so hmm, how is that possible)

The list goes on and on

Lilith1980

barbiedoll wrote: »

My mate lives next door to a woman whose boyfriend said that he worked for MI5 as an "operative" and that he often had to work late into the night.

My mate spotted him shifting trolleys at Asda one day. When she told him that she thought she'd seen him there, he told her not to say anything as he was working undercover, trying to get to the bottom of a terrorist plot involving Asda employees. :eek::eek:

Reminds me of a 'friend' I had. He was meant to be best man at mine and my (now ex) husband's wedding but s0dded off to another part of the UK with his partner.

He told people he was actually a KGB agent, when in fact he could never hold down a job more than a few weeks and actually went through life getting other people to buy him drinks down the pub (and they all fell for it!) :mad:

Gra76

An ex-colleague of mine brought a picture of 'his stunning girlfriend' into work years ago after weeks of boasting how gorgeous she was and how her dad was a multimillionaire American who owned a chain of garages. It was fairly obvious he'd printed it off himself as he had the face of a gargoyle and the personality of a sloth. The picture he brought in was of a stunning woman, we all knew he was extracting the urine but we played along with it to humour him. He'd printed a picture off the internet, we all knew it.

A few weeks further down the line he said he was leaving because his 'girlfriends dad' had offered him a managers position in one of the garages in America. He said he was going to be on a 6-figure salary and seemed really happy about it.

We all figured he was winding us up again but for the sake of not getting into an arguement we all just chuckled behind his back.

Then one day he didn't come in...we figured maybe he HAD gone to America after all. Maybe he wasn't pulling the wool over our eyes, maybe he did have a stunning girlfriend and maybe he did go to America and get a 6-figure salary managers job in one of the garages that his girlfriends dad owned...

The next Christmas one of my colleagues came in one Monday morning with a stupid grin on his face. I asked him what was so funny. He'd been Christmas shopping at Meadowhall shopping center and had seen our ex-colleague working in the McDonalds there...the lying git hadn't gone to America after all. Needless to say the next weekend a few of us went to Meadowhall to go and visit said McDonalds and took great pleasure in heckling our ex-colleague as he tried to hide!

alias*alibi

An ex reined me in by telling me he had been in the marines and had gone on duty around the world and that he had shot and killed someone. I was quite surprised as he was quite a small chap; not particularly tall; had long curly hair but was quite muscly but did not think much about it; until one day at his parents house his dad was asking me if I liked his long hair. I said it was ok; his dad replied he's always had it long; its never been shorter than his shoulders. So I naturally replied 'what, even when he was in the marines?'. Cue lots of confused looks from his dad and one mortified ex.

He was the biggest prat going!

OMG just reading thru the responses and seen how many have claimed to be SAS or in the forces! Stunned; wonder if that's the desired occupation at the art of lying academy!

nixe

my neighbour down the road
he has been a councillor
said he tried to save the life of someone who was stabbed outside my house and was full of blood. [ he was no near the lad and only came out when the police etc were there.
saved the life of some man who commited suicide. he was distant neighbour and this person only let on to known liar
tried to save the life of a child who died on holiday. and this did not stop him enjoying the rest of his holiday. [ there was no child ]
had the first heart transplant at local hosi.
has had cancer about 4 times
has died twice
met the queen [ could be true ]
stopped our road from being flooded.
its goes on, only thing he has not done is go to the moon.
his down trodden wife backs him up.