Help during maternity leave?

Orville

FBABY,

I am surprised at your stance on this.

You seem to be trying to have a go at me because i claim benefits and work, yet intend to go to back to college and still look for further work.

Yet you seem to advocate benefits for a couple who both work on 40k but where one does not want to go back to work to avoid financial hardship..?...LMAO.

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

So not so much a full-time single dad, I assume your parents looks after your son mornings at the moment, and would be able to do so at nights too.



But still worrying you, like the OP really?

No he does not need to be looked after pursee, (spelling?). he's 9 now and can sort himself out for school. His best friend lives at the end of our road and the school is just over 100yds away so i let him make his own way there. He has a mobile and can call me for whatever reason. My boss is fully aware of my situation and if for any reason i would need to leave early i can make my hrs up another time or start even earlier.

Evenings much the same, he looks after himself, depending on what happens i will still be there to look after him. Sorry forgot to say though that if i work in the evenings, either my parents or sister could look after him...

As for worrying me hell yeah, i want to try to get on and get a better job, but fully accept that i can't have everything i want and if i have to put up with something i don't like, i may not like it, but i accept it, or will find a way to work around it.

haras_nosirrah

so your wife was off work after having children, your children had at least one parent at home all the time until they went to school and despite saying earlier that you work 20 hours despite being a full time single dad your son is old enough not to need looking after much.

To give you an idea of how it feels to be a mother and have someone else look after your child so you can work as you cannot afford not to - I was at work one thursday and got a call from my mother in law and a picture sent to my email of my sons' first smile - Gutted was not the word.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

FBABY,

I am surprised at your stance on this.

You seem to be trying to have a go at me because i claim benefits and work, yet intend to go to back to college and still look for further work.

Yet you seem to advocate benefits for a couple who both work on 40k but where one does not want to go back to work to avoid financial hardship..?...LMAO.

Now it's you who doesn't get it I am not having a go at you for your decision to go to college, I am having a go at you for taking such a hard stand towards OP and haras predicament yet think it totally normal that you should be able to go to college whilst relying on benefits whilst doing it.

Just like having a baby, going to college is a choice. It's a nice philosophy to hang on to that if you go to college after struggling to find a full-time job, you will go straight into one. You had a full-time job before, so clearly going to college is not a requirement but a choice to better your future, just like deciding to have a child is (and an investment to society!)

In your case, you are where you are because you planned to have a family with 4 children before getting the right qualifications. Bad planning on your part too, yet you seem to think that it is right that you should be able to get benefits for your bad planning but not OP or haras.

Orville

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

so your wife was off work after having children, your children had at least one parent at home all the time until they went to school and despite saying earlier that you work 20 hours despite being a full time single dad your son is old enough not to need looking after much.

To give you an idea of how it feels to be a mother and have someone else look after your child so you can work as you cannot afford not to - I was at work one thursday and got a call from my mother in law and a picture sent to my email of my sons' first smile - Gutted was not the word.

Not my wife, ex partner. :-)

Yes off work after having Anthony (he's mine but she had 2 before i met her). Yes i do work 20 hrs, but when we first moved here he was 7. The parents agreed to make sure he got to school ok etc, but that was it, i was to deal with everything else. In a way i was lucky getting the job i did with those hrs, ok i couldn't actually take him to school, but it did allow me to attend everything else, sports days etc. Don't get me wrong though, if a full-time job had come up i would have taken it, and been prepared to miss those things.

haras_nosirrah

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4764841/Why-work.html

And this is who my husband and I are working to support - great eh.

I have worked out factoring in tax/ NI and council tax they are on a 25k annual income - about the same as my husbands full time income and my maternity leave yet our mortgage is £1050 and their rent is £625 so we are instantly £5100 a year WORSE off than they are if I were on maternity leave.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

No he does not need to be looked after pursee, (spelling?). he's 9 now and can sort himself out for school. His best friend lives at the end of our road and the school is just over 100yds away so i let him make his own way there. He has a mobile and can call me for whatever reason. My boss is fully aware of my situation and if for any reason i would need to leave early i can make my hrs up another time or start even earlier.

Evenings much the same, he looks after himself, depending on what happens i will still be there to look after him. Sorry forgot to say though that if i work in the evenings, either my parents or sister could look after him...

Didn't I read that you work from 4 to 9 in the morning at the moment? Surely you don't leave him on his own to get up and make his way to school every day? Not that I would judge, I am one to believe that children should be made responsible as early as possible but alone every single evenings, social services would take a very close look at this.

As for worrying me hell yeah, i want to try to get on and get a better job, but fully accept that i can't have everything i want and if i have to put up with something i don't like, i may not like it, but i accept it, or will find a way to work around it.

But you are since TC and HB tops it up. Would you accept it as eagerly if you only had your income to support you and your son?

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

Now it's you who doesn't get it I am not having a go at you for your decision to go to college, I am having a go at you for taking such a hard stand towards OP and haras predicament yet think it totally normal that you should be able to go to college whilst relying on benefits whilst doing it.

Just like having a baby, going to college is a choice. It's a nice philosophy to hang on to that if you go to college after struggling to find a full-time job, you will go straight into one. You had a full-time job before, so clearly going to college is not a requirement but a choice to better your future, just like deciding to have a child is (and an investment to society!)

In your case, you are where you are because you planned to have a family with 4 children before getting the right qualifications. Bad planning on your part too, yet you seem to think that it is right that you should be able to get benefits for your bad planning but not OP or haras.

I am not relying on the benefits, hence why i am working and still looking for further work..lol.

Who said i have 4 children?, who said i planned to have a family before getting qualifications..lol My now ex already had 2 children when i met her.

I used to be a Hardware Engineer, when i worked in Sutton. The hrs were long and very demanding 4am -7pm most days. I never studied for that job, i just applied one day, was called to interview and to my amazement got it. I applied for every IT job that appeared over the isle of wight before we moved but my ex got a job first. It was the way it was.

I have no chance of getting that type of job again as although i have experience it was probably around 8 years ago i last did it and i don't have the quals. I used to work for a welding company before when i was younger but never got qualifications, where i am now there is alot of shipping and factory work etc so there are quite a few of these type jobs going hence my decision to return to college to get the paperwork :-).

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

Didn't I read that you work from 4 to 9 in the morning at the moment? Surely you don't leave him on his own to get up and make his way to school every day? Not that I would judge, I am one to believe that children should be made responsible as early as possible but alone every single evenings, social services would take a very close look at this.



But you are since TC and HB tops it up. Would you accept it as eagerly if you only had your income to support you and your son?

No i live at my parents place at the moment till i start my house share later this year. As i said i have started again basically. I would still be doing the same regardless of the benefits. I'd still be working etc and looking for further work, that has never stopped. If i were still with my ex, we wouldn't be getting anything except CB.

It still does not change the fact the Op wouldn't have a problem if his partner went back to work early, i can't say it any plainer then that.

Dunroamin

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

Maybe the answer would be for maternity pay to be a % of your previous years income for 6 months rather than a flat rate for all after 6 weeks that takes no account of living costs in different areas - this would take into account partnerships where the female earns more as they would get more support while she was off.

It already is a percentage for the first four months!