Help during maternity leave?

sarahg1969

sulkisu wrote: »

Of course he can stay at home. She can express her milk -many working mothers do.

OP swapping roles may well be worth considering. I earn more than my partner and so when my maternity leave ends, will be returning to work leaving him at home with our sons. I dont know much about it (I'm sure others on here will - otherwise Google it) but there have been changes in the law to allow fathers to share the maternity leave with the mohter, as opposed to taking just two weeks paternity leave. Perhaps your employers will consider that option.

I went back to work full time when my son was 3 months old and he was exclusively breastfed until he was 8 months old. I used to express at work during the day and take it in to nursery where they'd keep it for the next day. Unfortunately, he then decided he didn't like expressed milk and wouldn't take a bottle, but we worked round that.

OP, if you're going to struggle after 6 months, then maybe you're GF will just have to go back to work earlier than she'd really like to?

haras_nosirrah

Our plan was for me to take 9 months off and go interest only on the mortgage (we saved 5k to help with this)

Sadly our mortgage lender then decided unless you had 150k equity in your property you couldn't go interest only anymore so our choice was to default on the mortgage or me go back to work (my basic is now 15k)

I am lucky I have a supportive family otherwise we really would be in trouble. I just wish it didn't have to be this way

pmlindyloo

Some really good advice here.

To put it bluntly, the only way things are going to work are if you cut your expenditure or raise your income.

You will be entitled to Child Benefit (that's the little bit of good news)

You might be entitled to tax credits depending on whether you stay at home with baby and wife goes back to work or whether she stays at home and you manage on your wage.

Tax Credits are based on income for the last tax year but you can ask them to check for eligibility on an estimate for the next year.

So for example, if your OH stayed at home and you continued working then you might be entitled to some tax credits.

You can input various scenarios on the calculator here:

http://www.turn2us.org.uk/benefits_search.aspx

The idea about talking to your mortgage company is a good one. Is there a possibility of extending your mortgage term so that your monthly payments are smaller?

I'm sure you've thought of most things but just in case........

Are you looking out for better paid jobs?

Have you any equity in the house and could move nearer to your work?

Can you car share at the moment?

Could your wife do some part time work? Weekend/evenings? to increase your income?

None of these suggestions are without some pain I'm sorry to say.

Babies do not cost a lot of money if you are prepared to 'make do'. Do not be afraid to use places like Freecycle/ads in papers etc

Although lovely to have brand new things babies grow so rapidly that it is just not worth the expense of buying new.

Congratulations on being expectant parents and do try not to worry too much. Things have a habit of turning out OK with just some obvious adjustments and you have certainly come to the right website to get some help. Many of the people who frequent this website are absolute experts at making the pennies go further.

Gentile

I think the days of popping a kid out and getting a lot of cash handed out might soon come to an end. Its incredible that people produce a child and then expect cash from the State. How did we ever end up in a situation like this.

haras_nosirrah

It has come to this as in some areas of the country the cost of living is so high that it cannot be done on one salary unless that person is a lawyer, doctor or airline pilot. The times of the man going out to work and supporting the family have in some cases gone. It is not about having a child and expecting handouts. I am married, my husband is 36, I am 32 and our son was planned and wanted. It is about how when as a couple in our working lives we have probably paid in circa 3-400k in tax between us it is very difficult to accept that we couldn't afford for me to have even 6 months off to be with my son yet my husbands cousin who has two children (youngest just turned 5) and at 24 has never done a days work is planning another child as they are trying to make her get a job. We won't be having another child as it would be financial suicide - soon only the !!!!less or very rich will be able to afford a child. Before anyone says move up north - our families, jobs Nd support networks are here. I

FBaby

I don't think Gentile comment was aimed at you haras. Indeed, who more 'deserve' to have a child then families like yours?

Those who lose out the most are those whose salaries are very similar so that combine, it is a decent one, but if one stops working, you suddenly lose 50% of your household income, which is bound to have a serious knock on effect.

Orville

Just return to work earlier. Problem solved.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

Just return to work earlier. Problem solved.

what a thoughtful comment...I'm sure OP hasn't considered it... silly, of course she should go back to work! It's only single parents who for some reason have a right to be a sahm for their children first 5 years. Of course it's only parents on low income who get to top up their small income with plenty of tax credits. Those who are neither single nor on low income get to return to work when their baby is only a few months old and pay plenty of taxes to allow the others to enjoy what they wish they could benefit from to at least for a few more months if that.......

Orville

The comment doesn't need any thought it's pretty obvious. Blah blah on the stah parents on benefits etc. It is the way it is. I presume they know what would happen 9 months ago when the baby was conceived with regards to finances etc but it didn't seem to stop them conceiving or did they think oh we'll have a baby and worry about the finances when we have to.

haras_nosirrah

We budgeted and planned. Phoned our mortgage lender and they told us to contact them nearer the time and we could go interest only for a year. We lived like paupers for a year, bought everything second hand for my son, paid 10k off debt and saved 5k to see us through then phoned mortgage lender month I went on mat leave to be told that criteria has changed and we can only go interest only if we have 150k equity in our home. Sometimes you can plan and it will still not work out how you want it.