Help during maternity leave?

Orville

LunaLady wrote: »

If only you could meet the high expectations you place on yourself Orville.

Do you not receive maintenance? You seem bitter towards those of us that do.

Yeah if only eh..?.

Yes of course i do, but i'll be honest and say that i get less then what i would be entitled to through the CSA but we had a few debts when we were together so i said to her to give me less to cover my part. :-)


I am not bitter about anything. i am just of the belief that you have to get on with whatever happens. We are talking about a couple on circa 40k a year who have decided to have a baby. The mother wants full maternity off which i can understand. The partner knows full well that because of this they are going to run into financial troubles and has come on here asking if they can claim anything. The fact is they cannot except CB. There is only one way to avoid all this and that is for the mother to go back to work earlier then expected. Others have basically said that they should get help. I'm sorry they shouldn't.

It's like your blindly doing something you can afford to do yet when it goes belly up your expecting the state to bail you out when all you need to do is go back to work earlier.

haras_nosirrah

I didn't mean to start a fight.

If the OP waits any longer to have a child then they will be too old - so as FBABY said should only the rich and the !!!!less be able to have children while the rest of us work to pay for it without being able to have a family of our own as we don't earn enough to afford it?

How old was your child when your ex went back to work Orville?

I went back to work when my son was 6 weeks old. I don't tell anyone apart from immediate family as I made the mistake of telling someone I was friendly with at a baby group and she looked horrified and said there is no way she could be apart from her baby at that age aka she thinks I am a bad mum.

At least by working and paying taxes I am paying for my own treatment for post natal depression that has developed since I have been back at work. Would hate to think that the tax system I have paid so much into would have to fund me after all if I hadn't decided to have a child then I wouldn't be depressed now - all my fault.

With regards to outgoings my husbands income would pay our mortgage, his getting to work and council tax. My maternity pay would have to pay all bills, food etc. We would have less to live on than a single person on JSA

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

We are back to a judgement that whether you should be entitled to help should be dependent on whether you were able to plan or not. How long is this 'planning' excepted to last? If you are a single parent which you couldn't plan would happy, how long until you can consider that you then had enough to plan your NEW life so you shouldn't rely on benefits any longer? One year, 5 years, until the children are all 20?



I am not single any longer and so claim no benefits at all any longer. When I was single, I claimed tax credits which only covered 70% of my childcare. When they started school, and still had to pay £350 a month childcare, I was entitled to nothing. And no maintenance from their dad, he is one who beleives that it is ok to have another child when you already have 4 combined with your new partner and yet don't support any one of them...



So are you looking for jobs during the day to? What would happen if you go a full time position during the day, would you give up your college plans? How long have since you last work full-time?



You are right, only those working part-time, not at all or earning £100K should have a right to have children. All the others should just continued to work full-time and pay taxes so the unemployed or those on low salaries can continue to populate freely.

Are you ever grateful for all the benefits you've been receiving since you've been made redundant?

I am grateful for everything i get, I don't take it lightly i can tell you. You still seem to be forgetting that they can afford it. The mother wants to have more time off then they can afford. If she went back to work earlier then the partner wouldn't be on here asking if he can claim..!!!

Look lets agree to disagree.

I know full well that most people in that situation would bite the bullet and go back to work early. In fact one poster said earlier that she went back to work and her husband then had time off. As the mother is the higher earner why don't they do that..? Fact is she wants her cake and eat it, but the hard truth is they can't afford it. I think her partner should be applauded for opening his eyes to what will happen as she seems blind to it.

haras_nosirrah

Maybe the answer would be for maternity pay to be a % of your previous years income for 6 months rather than a flat rate for all after 6 weeks that takes no account of living costs in different areas - this would take into account partnerships where the female earns more as they would get more support while she was off.

Orville

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

I didn't mean to start a fight.

LOL Don't worry it's all good fun as far as i'm concerned. I like these chats and certainly bear no malice to anyone, in-fact if i ever met anyone on here, i'd certainly like to buy them a drink. (When my tax credits come through of course) ;-)

LunaLady

But you are fine with working less hours than you can afford Orville, and being supported through college?

Orville

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

I didn't mean to start a fight.

If the OP waits any longer to have a child then they will be too old - so as FBABY said should only the rich and the !!!!less be able to have children while the rest of us work to pay for it without being able to have a family of our own as we don't earn enough to afford it?

How old was your child when your ex went back to work Orville?

I went back to work when my son was 6 weeks old. I don't tell anyone apart from immediate family as I made the mistake of telling someone I was friendly with at a baby group and she looked horrified and said there is no way she could be apart from her baby at that age aka she thinks I am a bad mum.

At least by working and paying taxes I am paying for my own treatment for post natal depression that has developed since I have been back at work. Would hate to think that the tax system I have paid so much into would have to fund me after all if I hadn't decided to have a child then I wouldn't be depressed now - all my fault.

With regards to outgoings my husbands income would pay our mortgage, his getting to work and council tax. My maternity pay would have to pay all bills, food etc. We would have less to live on than a single person on JSA

It's not a case of only the rich etc. As has been said they can afford it if she goes back to work earlier then she wants to. This is what we are talking about. Remember she wants full maternity but her partners knows it can't be done.

How old was my child when i went back to work?.

Well when we lived on the isle of wight i was unemployed for a number of years, infact my now ex was a high earner and we could afford for one of us not to work ( this was when we first moved there). I raised the kids 3 of them till the youngest went to school. I then got a job working nights. I would have them during the day, she would at night etc. I was made redundant after 2 or so years. Tried to find a job but jobs are very scarce over there (it wasn't for the trying i can tell you), we split, i took on Anthony full-time, still looking for work could find nothing. Parents said pack up and come to live with them and start again, so i took Anthony here (Gt Yarmouth) and started again. I managed to get a job in Asda within the first 2-3 months earlies and have also been looking for both full-time and evening work ever since with no luck whatsoever. Not even one interview.! Hence my decision to go back to college to try to put myself in a better position to find work.

Fbaby, you asked a question about what i would do with my college course if i found full-time work. Well it's a welding course which can be transferred to evenings if that did happen. The only downside is that it will take longer to complete.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

It's like your blindly doing something you can afford to do yet when it goes belly up your expecting the state to bail you out when all you need to do is go back to work earlier.

So to be clear: You decided not to go to college before starting your working life, or you picked the right subject to study, it went belly up as you are now struggling to find a decently paid job or a full-time position, yet you expect to be able to go to college full-time to retrain AND claim HB, CTC, WTC and the rest whilst you do so?

As I've said, total double standard. Why don't you wait until you can afford to go to college without relying on tax payers to do so?

Orville

LunaLady wrote: »

But you are fine with working less hours than you can afford Orville, and being supported through college?

No you seem to be missing or not taking in the fact i am looking for other jobs too. i have never stopped looking since i moved here. If i could show you my Direct Gov page you would see i have applied for at least 3 or 4 jobs just this week.

I am not sitting back and taking it easy at all. I am still looking..!!

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

So to be clear: You decided not to go to college before starting your working life, or you picked the right subject to study, it went belly up as you are now struggling to find a decently paid job or a full-time position, yet you expect to be able to go to college full-time to retrain AND claim HB, CTC, WTC and the rest whilst you do so?

As I've said, total double standard. Why don't you wait until you can afford to go to college without relying on tax payers to do so?

You just don't get it do you..?