Help during maternity leave?

Orville

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

We budgeted and planned. Phoned our mortgage lender and they told us to contact them nearer the time and we could go interest only for a year. We lived like paupers for a year, bought everything second hand for my son, paid 10k off debt and saved 5k to see us through then phoned mortgage lender month I went on mat leave to be told that criteria has changed and we can only go interest only if we have 150k equity in our home. Sometimes you can plan and it will still not work out how you want it.

That's right.

So what do you do..? You do what you need to do and return to work. Hard i know but it's better that then a mountain of debt and an even worse start for your child. Imagine the rows caused by the stress of the debt etc. That alone is reason to bite the bullett and go back to work. It's just not worth it.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

The comment doesn't need any thought it's pretty obvious. Blah blah on the stah parents on benefits etc. It is the way it is. I presume they know what would happen 9 months ago when the baby was conceived with regards to finances etc but it didn't seem to stop them conceiving or did they think oh we'll have a baby and worry about the finances when we have to.

Isn't you who were quoting that sometimes things happen and you should get a bit of help during these times? Isn't you who 'only' work 20 hours a week?

Yes, it is the way it is, and the double standards that spurs out of those threads is sickening.

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

Isn't you who were quoting that sometimes things happen and you should get a bit of help during these times? Isn't you who 'only' work 20 hours a week?

Yes, it is the way it is, and the double standards that spurs out of those threads is sickening.

I am glad you felt desperate enough to go through my history.

If memory serves me right I was commenting about people who have lost everything through no fault of their own. Not a couple with a combined income of 40k and both still infull time employment.! Nothing has changed in their situation except THEY decided to have a baby.

And yes I only work 20hrs a week but what you failed to mention is that I am a single FULLTIME father raising my son. Could have carried on poncing off the state but I didn't. I accepted my situation, bit the bullett, moved away and started again. I got a job and am also starting at college full-time (while still keeping my job). Not exactly the typical benefits claimant wouldn't you say.

Listen all I am trying to say is that it's all to easy to get yourself in these situations then expect joe taxpayer to bail you out. They are obviously intelligent enough to know what their situation would be like, you generally plan worst case scenarion and yet when it does happen still want to take the easy way out when all along the answer is to return to work.

Dunroamin

BottomRung wrote: »

I know nothing of Child Benefit or even if we'd be entitled. Seems we are classed as high earners but as we live in a very expensive area our income, or at least mine, only covers bills, mortgage, car expenses, food etc so assumed that we'd be entitled to nothing. Whereabouts can I look into the Child Benefit? Sorry for sounding thick but never claimed for anything before.

If your single income covers all these then surely you'll be doing pretty well with at least SMP and CB on top?

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

I am glad you felt desperate enough to go through my history.

Desperate? It took 5 seconds, remember, you only posted these details a few days ago. I haven't bothered going back years if that makes you feel better!

If memory serves me right I was commenting about people who have lost everything through no fault of their own. Not a couple with a combined income of 40k and both still infull time employment.! Nothing has changed in their situation except THEY decided to have a baby.

What difference does it make? In both cases, you are struggling financially. Does it all come down to planning? You planned and still need help, you don't get it, you don't plan but that's good because then you can claim all the help you need?

And yes I only work 20hrs a week but what you failed to mention is that I am a single FULLTIME father raising my son. Could have carried on poncing off the state but I didn't. I accepted my situation, bit the bullett, moved away and started again. I got a job and am also starting at college full-time (while still keeping my job). Not exactly the typical benefits claimant wouldn't you say.

Not typical? What is typical? Single parent who don't work at all? Sorry but as a single full-time mum of two children under the age of 4 who continued to work full-time, I fail to think you are doing anything special. I too could have relied 100% on benefits, but not only I didn't I also contributed vastly to those who only chose to work a few hours. Nice that you are indeed being supported whilst you decide to go back to college. Maybe haras would love to go back to college too.... oh wait, she can't because she can't afford to and can't get benefits for it!

Listen all I am trying to say is that it's all to easy to get yourself in these situations then expect joe taxpayer to bail you out. They are obviously intelligent enough to know what their situation would be like, you generally plan worst case scenarion and yet when it does happen still want to take the easy way out when all along the answer is to return to work.

See, I kind of agree with you...except that I think that applies just as much to people like you. You could have foreseen the possibility of becoming a single parent. No one is protected from it. So why didn't you plan so you could continue to work full-time and fully support your child? Why are you currently relying on tax credits when you could go back to work full-time instead of going back to college? Why is it one rule for some but not others?

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

See, I kind of agree with you...except that I think that applies just as much to people like you. You could have foreseen the possibility of becoming a single parent. No one is protected from it. So why didn't you plan so you could continue to work full-time and fully support your child? Why are you currently relying on tax credits when you could go back to work full-time instead of going back to college? Why is it one rule for some but not others?

When i became a single parent it was 7 years after my son was born how can you plan for that in advance..lol. When i did become a single parent i was un-employed as i had been made redundant so the opportunity to continue full-time wasn't even a choice.

Who says i am not looking for more work..? I am applying for everything and everything, have been for a year or so now, maybe longer. I am going back to college because of this i am trying but it does not seem to be happening with the job situation, so by going back to college i am trying to put myself in a better position to gain full-time employment. Don't think though that because i am going back to college i am giving up work, i am still going to be doing my job early mornings at asda and am looking for work in the evenings too. So as far as i am concerned it's not one rule etc. i just get on with it and do the best i can.

I am not going to argue with you on the other points because what you are basically saying is that you think it's ok for a couple with an income of circa 40k to have government help because they decide to have a baby, which i am afraid is wrong. You keep going on about single parents. Fact is they are not.!

As i said. They can stop all this if they went back to work, but yet THEY choose not to. Remember it's their choice and if they suffer financial hardship because of it who's fault is that..?

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

I am not going to argue with you on the other points because what you are basically saying is that you think it's ok for a couple with an income of circa 40k to have government help because they decide to have a baby, which i am afraid is wrong.

As i said. They can stop all this if they went back to work, but yet THEY choose not to. Remember it's their choice and if they suffer financial hardship because of it who's fault is that..?

No, what I am saying is that you have no right to judge them and tell them they should just get on with it, when you are far from doing so yourself.

You have a child who is at school, yet only work until 9am currently.... so have 6 hours a day free... yet probably left with more disposable income at the end of the month than this family once they will have paid childcare, and yet you think that this is right and they shouldn't complain...

I am soooooo glad that universal credits are finally coming, the time has really come to tackle those who think that being a single parent should give them so many more rights than those in partnerships.

Orville

FBaby wrote: »

No, what I am saying is that you have no right to judge them and tell them they should just get on with it, when you are far from doing so yourself.

You have a child who is at school, yet only work until 9am currently.... so have 6 hours a day free... yet probably left with more disposable income at the end of the month than this family once they will have paid childcare, and yet you think that this is right and they shouldn't complain...

I am soooooo glad that universal credits are finally coming, the time has really come to tackle those who think that being a single parent should give them so many more rights than those in partnerships.

I am saying they knew their situation before hand, made a decision to have a baby and went ahead regardless, and because of their actions will face financial troubles because of it. Whose fault is it..? You don't seem to be answering this question?.

BTW what benefits do you claim..? Let me guess CB, WFTC, CTC and Childcare element..? Maybe even a bit of HB. Oh not to mention maintenance from the ex. I suspect you probably have more left over then them too. If it bothers you that much, why don't you help them out or maybe stop claiming yourself just to prove your point.

As for me telling them to get on with it, too right, I am regardless of what you say. Shall i repeat myself again with the job hunting bit and why i am going back to college? and the fact i will work evenings too when i can find a job. Infact i'll probably be doing more hrs a day including the course then you..!

As for disposable income, i have no idea what their outgoings are compared to mine, what can i do about that?. Still does not change the fact they are doing this to themselves.

LunaLady

If only you could meet the high expectations you place on yourself Orville.

Do you not receive maintenance? You seem bitter towards those of us that do.

FBaby

Orville wrote: »

I am saying they knew their situation before hand, made a decision to have a baby and went ahead regardless, and because of their actions will face financial troubles because of it. Whose fault is it..? You don't seem to be answering this question?.

We are back to a judgement that whether you should be entitled to help should be dependent on whether you were able to plan or not. How long is this 'planning' excepted to last? If you are a single parent which you couldn't plan would happy, how long until you can consider that you then had enough to plan your NEW life so you shouldn't rely on benefits any longer? One year, 5 years, until the children are all 20?

BTW what benefits do you claim..? Let me guess CB, WFTC, CTC and Childcare element..? Maybe even a bit of HB. Oh not to mention maintenance from the ex. I suspect you probably have more left over then them too. If it bothers you that much, why don't you help them out or maybe stop claiming yourself just to prove your point.

I am not single any longer and so claim no benefits at all any longer. When I was single, I claimed tax credits which only covered 70% of my childcare. When they started school, and still had to pay £350 a month childcare, I was entitled to nothing. And no maintenance from their dad, he is one who beleives that it is ok to have another child when you already have 4 combined with your new partner and yet don't support any one of them...

As for me telling them to get on with it, too right, I am regardless of what you say. Shall i repeat myself again with the job hunting bit and why i am going back to college? and the fact i will work evenings too when i can find a job. Infact i'll probably be doing more hrs a day including the course then you..!.

So are you looking for jobs during the day to? What would happen if you go a full time position during the day, would you give up your college plans? How long have since you last work full-time?

As for disposable income, i have no idea what their outgoings are compared to mine, what can i do about that?. Still does not change the fact they are doing this to themselves.

You are right, only those working part-time, not at all or earning £100K should have a right to have children. All the others should just continued to work full-time and pay taxes so the unemployed or those on low salaries can continue to populate freely.

Are you ever grateful for all the benefits you've been receiving since you've been made redundant?