Help during maternity leave?

sulkisu

smiales wrote: »

I was waiting for that, yes she can express but that isn't easy to do whilst working. Yes it's possible but not very practical. Maybe they want to formula feed and this is irrelevant anyway.

Yes maternity leave can be split now between the parents which is a fantastic option for dads and families to be given. All about choice.

I also can't help but feel sad that a mum, any mum has to put her baby second for such a short period of time. Not saying a mother has to stay home with baby, everyone is different but if this lady has always worked and wants to be home with her child for a very short time in the grand scheme of life it's very sad if she can't. The guy here just wants to know what help they may be able to get to enable her to do this. I don't think that's bad.

I don't think that anybody is saying that his asking what help is available is bad.
However what most people are saying is that on his salary, there is little financial help available. This is not a judgement on either OP or his partner, it is just a fact. Therefore people are suggesting other options.
As for expressing milk while working, we don't know where his girlfriend works or how parent friendly her employers are, they may well have something in place to make this possible. My employer provides nursing mothers with private rooms and lockable fridges so that they can express milk while at work. I realise that they won't all do this, but perhaps hers will. It is not necessarily ideal but if it means an additional £7000 to spend, it has to be worth the inconvenience - or at least considering.

somethingcorporate

All employers have to provide access to a room to breastfeed or express milk: http://www.xperthr.co.uk/faqs/topics/4,39/pregnancy-and-maternity-rights.aspx?articleid=69848#69848 so not really sure the too busy to do it argument holds water.

princessdon

Like it or not OP is in the "little help" category, been there got the t shirt and as a tax payer it feels harsh when its you.

You will get tax credits (small amount), help with childcare when wife returns etc but little else. Expect to scrimp and save, whilst others get far more, but long term you will be better off I hope.

I truly believe that our govt should pay more maternity and for longer dependant on contributions payed and I'd happily pay more taxes for this (as opposed to the paper splits we have now) but I'm not Iain charge.

Apply for TC less minus £100 pw, but you will find it tight for a while. I wish you both well

smiales

somethingcorporate wrote: »

All employers have to provide access to a room to breastfeed or express milk: http://www.xperthr.co.uk/faqs/topics/4,39/pregnancy-and-maternity-rights.aspx?articleid=69848#69848 so not really sure the too busy to do it argument holds water.

Who said too busy to do it? I said its possible but not that practical. I think it's a great step that employers have to provide this. I'm just speaking as a working woman in a busy office and although possible and allowed I can just see the reaction of my employers when I nip off to express every couple of hours for half an hour a time. No they can't officially say/do anything but many employers will make life hard for you. I'm being realistic, it isn't that easy for some women. Its a shame they aren't all like the other posters employers, they sound pretty good.

princessdon

smiales wrote: »

Who said too busy to do it? I said its possible but not that practical. I think it's a great step that employers have to provide this. I'm just speaking as a working woman in a busy office and although possible and allowed I can just see the reaction of my employers when I nip off to express every couple of hours for half an hour a time. No they can't officially say/do anything but many employers will make life hard for you. I'm being realistic, it isn't that easy for some women. Its a shame they aren't all like the other posters employers, they sound pretty good.

Many dont have a fridge for storage though and should be frozen within 3 hours, not impossible but not easy for all. I was able to feed my child at work (on site childcare) but it was a luxury I was grateful for. Also some children cannot alter between nipple and teat as despite medical advances the differences are great and some cannot adjust just to the flow,

Hellsbells77

Unfortunately, you're unlikely to get anything other than child benefit. Our joint income was less than your girlfriend's and that's all we got. The only thing I can suggest you do, as others have said, is to start saving now and really look into all the costs of living and working that you won't have when your gf is on maternity leave (transport, lunch from the supermarket, the latte on the way not work, etc). I think you will find that you won't be as out of pocket as you think. Although it may seem hard and daunting, it is possible to survive. It sounds like your girlfriend has enhanced maternity pay too, which is very good.

When preparing for baby, you are likely to get lots of things from friends and family so you won't need to go mad. Also, babies grow out of things so quickly that you can get lots of nearly new stuff as people are always getting rid of the mountain of baby stuff they have acquired. You can try FB for this.

When she does go back to work, her salary should easily cover Childcare. I got made redundant just before I found out I was pregnant (yes, great timing!) but worked out that if I went back then I would only just cover it and end up with a few pounds in my pocket so it wouldn't have been worth it. This was based on a salary of £15k and nursery fees of £45, which is considered on the high side in the Uk. Childminders often work out cheaper so this could also be another option for you. Unfortunately, with your incomes, I don't think you would get any child tax credits to help with Childcare though.

If you are thinking of selling things once baby is here, how about selling them now and putting the money in a savings account? Do things like change energy supplier if you're not locked in. Are you able to remortgage to a cheaper mortgage or arrange a payment holiday for the period that your gf is on maternity leave? Can you make any savings on your shopping (change to cheaper brands, plan meals and only buy the food you need for them, etc)? Do you have meals out and takeaways that you can cut back on?

Good luck and hope the pregnancy goes well!

mum2one

smiales wrote: »

Who said too busy to do it? I said its possible but not that practical. I think it's a great step that employers have to provide this. I'm just speaking as a working woman in a busy office and although possible and allowed I can just see the reaction of my employers when I nip off to express every couple of hours for half an hour a time. No they can't officially say/do anything but many employers will make life hard for you. I'm being realistic, it isn't that easy for some women. Its a shame they aren't all like the other posters employers, they sound pretty good.

i totally agree with you about what is suggested and what is actual realistic in terms of employers and what they are willing to do!

My DD is 10 now, but when I was with my company, found out I was expecting, so went through the HR handbook, (it would have been more use in smaller pieces in the bathroom), -

They will supply a single bed so that the pregnant lady can go and have a lie down as and when they need........ (I was sick as a dog even b4 the stick went blue and was shattered).

That would have meant then that a 2nd person would need to be employed to "buddy up" with me for me to have been able to take advantage of this rest.

My companies bright idea - change me locations where the ladies toilet was up a flight of 30 steep stairs........

I worked 1 week after finding out I was pregnant, then my GP and follow on consultant at hospital would not let me work in that environment.

xx

notanewuser

BottomRung wrote: »

I know nothing of Child Benefit or even if we'd be entitled. Seems we are classed as high earners but as we live in a very expensive area our income, or at least mine, only covers bills, mortgage, car expenses, food etc so assumed that we'd be entitled to nothing. Whereabouts can I look into the Child Benefit? Sorry for sounding thick but never claimed for anything before.

At £21k and £28k you're not even on double the national average salary between you.

haras_nosirrah

I completely sympathise op and am in the same boat as you

I am a woman and the high earner in our household. My husband is on 20k a year (I'm on 29k basic + commission) and I only got the 6 weeks at 90% pay and then onto statutory. We are entitled to nothing but child benefit so imagine you will be in the same boat.

Sadly for me I am typing this at work - my son is 11 weeks old tomorrow.

I went back to work when my son was 6 weeks old but I work 2 days a week in the office and 2 hours every evening when my husband gets home from work - this adds up to 3 days a week

My husband has him one of the days I am at work and the grandparents take the other day in turn.

I would have loved to have taken time (and have now been diagnosed with PND) however with a £1050 a month mortgage it wasn't possible and I feel a huge amount of guilt about that. I also tried the expressing thing but I couldn't do it enough and my milk has now almost gone.

With the enhanced maternity pay hopefully she can take at least 6 months off and maybe do some mystery shopping or something to increase income? When you live in an expensive part of the country (in our case west sussex) it is so much harder as 20k really doesn't go very far.

I wish you luck

FBaby

I do sympathise too OP. You've done the right thing, both worked, waiting to be in a serious relationship, established etc... rather than just having a child when unemployed, young and single, yet, it is likely you will end up with less disposable income...

Unfortunately, that's how it is... saying that, you need to look at long term. You need to calculate how long your girlfriend can be out of work with the income you will get and trying to reduce every possible costs. Would your mortgage provider agree to freeze interest for only 6 months (assuming you own your propety). Save as much as you can now so you can have something to tap in. Don't buy all the baby things you will read everywhere you need. You won't and it gives a chance for family/friends to buy things. Your girlfriend will find that not having to go to work, she will find that she will cut on a number of day to day cuts.

You will then need to look at the next 2 years of full cost nursery, seeing if you can claim childcare vouchers from both your company that will help quite a bit. It will then get a bit better when your child is 3 and you will be entitled to the childcare grant, and then again better the following year when they start school.

I've just read your post haras, and it has put me in a bad mood!!!! If I read about a single parent or couple whose income is all or mainly made up of benefit, whinging how hard the have it, I'll get angry.... What a luxury to not have to worry about having to go to work and miss on your baby knowing that the cash will come in and actually plan the next one knowing that will just bring more in rather than being paranoid about birth control because you know that another child only months away from the first would financial disaster....