The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

Baileysonice

1/15 please shaggy and thanks again for keeping us in line

Well after a lot of christmas spirit in more ways than one I am off the blocks for January. Like to say it was easy but I think a collection of a manic work day, a painful trip to the dentist, solid rain and cold all day and generally those January blues I did want to end with the usual large glass of white but I didn't None of those things would have been any easier if I had so what's the point.

NYNS I am reading Allan Carrs book Easy Way to control alcohol if thats any help.

365days Hope all goes well on Thursday

debjay

Thanks to you both for talking about your situation and explaining your experience of the difference between habit and addiction.

OH and I are signed up for Dry January and so far so good but I'm just wondering about what happens from February. We always say that we'll only drink at weekends but don't seem to stick to it and always say that we will again next week. It doesn't help that I work shifts so my days off can be during the week sometimes so we tend to make that our weekend.

Having been AF since January 1st I'm not having any physical withdrawal symptoms so hoping that mine is still just habit and I'm not addicted.

365days

I didn't have many physical symptoms....it's the mental dependance that gets you!!

Baileysonice

365days wrote: »

I can only speak for me.

When I joined here about 6 years ago (different user name) I joined the cutting down challenges as a money saving measure.

As the months progressed I kept missing my targets. I would find myself in situations similar to ones that people now post about. The mental struggle of going to the shop to buy booze, the I'll just drink at weekends, I'll just have a bottle of wine instead of 2/3, I'll switch to Vodka as I will need to drink less volume than wine, I will not drink today....but then finding I did.

It took a far long while but for me I realised that it wasn't a habit I could break but a full blown addiction. Even when I realised that I was in denial for a long time. It's not a very comfortable truth to face. Me an alcoholic??? Surely not, I was a professional, functioning, etc etc Surely Alkies weren't like me??

If you google 12 steps (The AA mantra) The very first step is to accept and admit you have a problem. Without that everything else is pointless. I came on here and 'told' everyone I was an alcoholic. It's a very powerful and imporatnt step. After that I went away and worked bloody hard on myself. You have to.....without personal change you can not give up alcohol (well I believe that)

It was very hard at the beginning. But now when I read peoples
mental struggles on here about when they have had a drink when thye didn't want to etc etc I am so pleased I got off the wheel when I did.

John Coates Book - No big Deal is amazing
I've also just bought Alistair Campbells (a fellow alcoholic) new one My name is...to take into hospital with me. His other book All in the Mind has a good portrayal of an alcoholic as well as other addictions.

Hope that explains it a bit.

Fruball wrote: »

I have read AC's book too and thought it was great - I need to find it and read it again though. I know what you mean about being scared. It isn't pleasant to find out that what started as a social treat has become such a horrible and insistent influence in our lives Not dissimilar to making a friend who becomes a stalker and then becomes more dangerous.



For me, I felt addicted once I realised that I couldn't manage my target, and it wasn't because I had social occasions or any other such excuse. It is because I find it very difficult to stop myself drinking if I feel like it.

I also think that addiction means different things to different people. My friends would say that I am not addicted to alcohol because they rarely see me drink and I don't drink during the day, ever. But they don't see the heavy binge drinking at home 3 or 4 times a week. They think an alcoholic wakes in the morning and begins drinking and continues all day. That is not my understanding of an alcoholic. To me, an alcoholic is someone who has a negative or uncontrolled relationship with alcohol but is unable to stop.

I believe that there are two (or probably more) main types of addiction. Physical addiction which is where you suffer horrible symptoms when you stop and need alcohol to alleviate them... and mental addiction/habit addiction which is where you cannot prevent your mind wanting alcohol to the point when you give in to it instead of having an AF night, which is what I have.

These are only my opinions and just the way I see it. Others may agree or see things differently.

Thank you both two great posts to think about

365days

Fruball said 'I also think that addiction means different things to different people. My friends would say that I am not addicted (Nor mine because at the time many were heavy drinkers, to admit I had a problem meant they ahd to look at themselves too) to alcohol because they rarely see me drink and I don't drink during the day, ever. I didn't have 'sneaky' drinks but would be drinking until 2 or 3 am then at work for 8. Weekends werre fair game for drinking during the day! But they don't see the heavy binge drinking at home 3 or 4 times a week. They think an alcoholic wakes in the morning and begins drinking and continues all day. That is not my understanding of an alcoholic. To me, an alcoholic is someone who has a negative or uncontrolled relationship with alcohol but is unable to stop. Control is THE word here. If anyone reading this is in control of their drinking prove it by hitting your targets!!!

I believe that there are two (or probably more) main types of addiction. Physical addiction which is where you suffer horrible symptoms when you stop and need alcohol to alleviate them... and mental addiction/habit addiction which is where you cannot prevent your mind wanting alcohol to the point when you give in to it instead of having an AF night, which is what I have.' As i've said before addiction is fascinanting....I will be making a career in it when I kick the cancer!

gien

Great Posts to think about - thanks.

Welcome back 40SM, it's getting just like old times isn't it - where's YM, Barshamhillbilly and Molly Polly???

I have another AF day under my belt , so that's 3/28 so far and I am feeling really really tired. Not sure if its the lack of booze or getting back to work and school.

I find my dependancy changes with the seasons, winter, specifically the run up to Christmas is the worse time and I 'self medicate' to get through the dark times. Somehow January coming has given me a bit of a boost and I feel more positive.

365days

I think every addict is self medicating.

debjay

I think what I'll do is take one step at a time and not think too far ahead. My target is to get through this month and that's going ok so far - I'm breaking the habit of automatically reaching for a glass of wine by replacing wine with something else.

Thank you to everyone sharing their experiences. It really helps to motivate me to keep on track.

jo1972

I've failed

Fruball

I nearly forgot... tonight makes 4/18 for me please, Shaggy

Bought myself some Milk Thistle tablets today - no doubt they are a best seller in January