The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

shaggydoo

Roll up, Roll up. A New Year, A New Challenge.

January

SET YOUR

It's not too late to join! Everyone Welcome!!!

gwithbag

shaggydoo wrote: »

Hope the above is correct. Please please let me know if it isn't!!!! And I apologize in advance!

My apologies, it's 02/15 as of yesterday, I'm not used to this updating thing, yet.

Top_Girl

6/31 here please Shaggy!

First day back at work would have usually called for a few cans/bottle to relax, reward or whatever excuse I would use to justify it but the dryathlon is keeping me on the straight and narrow for now (not going to get ahead of myself).

All the jobs for tonight done, Top Boy is going to bed in an hour then I'm going to sofa surf with the soaps and some soup and what Options assure me is an indulgent hot chocolate...

debjay

Can I ask a really daft question please? What's TF in shaggy's list mean?

365days

TF = Target Free

satchmo1

6/31 AFDs tonight.

debjay

365days wrote: »

TF = Target Free

Thanks for that :T

I'd been pondering what it was when I first saw it but couldn't fathom it out.

I know habit v addiction has been mentioned but how do you know when habit has become addiction?

new_year_new_start

No more AF nights to report, back on the brandy train. Not giving up though, just re-adjusting to the fact talk is easy, but action requires a lot more mental strength. Never mind 2/30 is not too bad at this point.

steveh68 wrote: »

last summer i read an amazing book about drinking and once I'd finished the book I said hey I dont need a drink anymore and for 8 weeks didnt miss it think about it and definately didnt want any.

What's the book/author please?

365days

debjay wrote: »

Thanks for that :T

I'd been pondering what it was when I first saw it but couldn't fathom it out.

I know habit v addiction has been mentioned but how do you know when habit has become addiction?

I can only speak for me.

When I joined here about 6 years ago (different user name) I joined the cutting down challenges as a money saving measure.

As the months progressed I kept missing my targets. I would find myself in situations similar to ones that people now post about. The mental struggle of going to the shop to buy booze, the I'll just drink at weekends, I'll just have a bottle of wine instead of 2/3, I'll switch to Vodka as I will need to drink less volume than wine, I will not drink today....but then finding I did.

It took a far long while but for me I realised that it wasn't a habit I could break but a full blown addiction. Even when I realised that I was in denial for a long time. It's not a very comfortable truth to face. Me an alcoholic??? Surely not, I was a professional, functioning, etc etc Surely Alkies weren't like me??

If you google 12 steps (The AA mantra) The very first step is to accept and admit you have a problem. Without that everything else is pointless. I came on here and 'told' everyone I was an alcoholic. It's a very powerful and imporatnt step. After that I went away and worked bloody hard on myself. You have to.....without personal change you can not give up alcohol (well I believe that)

It was very hard at the beginning. But now when I read peoples
mental struggles on here about when they have had a drink when thye didn't want to etc etc I am so pleased I got off the wheel when I did.

John Coates Book - No big Deal is amazing
I've also just bought Alistair Campbells (a fellow alcoholic) new one My name is...to take into hospital with me. His other book All in the Mind has a good portrayal of an alcoholic as well as other addictions.

Hope that explains it a bit.

Fruball

jo1972 wrote: »

I don't know if you've ever read Allen Carr's book - Easy Way to stop.... He started with the smoking one, then drinking, lose weight etc. In both the smoking and drinking ones he talks about the pitcher plant which is like a Venus fly trap, the fly wants the nectar and doesn't realise he's in trouble till he can't get out. Its a useful analogy for me which I've always ignored on day 2 of sobriety.

I'm quite jealous of those that can just 'leave it', have a cup of tea instead. How did I get here? I never knew. When did i cross the line. If someone said to me when I first took a mouthful of alcohol as a teenager 'don't do this, you won't be able to stop!', I would of laughed. I've lost best part of 20 years (I'm 41).

All the above doesn't make it any easier. I'm scared and really fe**ing p***ed off that it came to this.

Declaring 5/31 Shaggy. Thanks for always being there for us :A

I have read AC's book too and thought it was great - I need to find it and read it again though. I know what you mean about being scared. It isn't pleasant to find out that what started as a social treat has become such a horrible and insistent influence in our lives Not dissimilar to making a friend who becomes a stalker and then becomes more dangerous.

debjay wrote: »

Thanks for that :T

I'd been pondering what it was when I first saw it but couldn't fathom it out.

I know habit v addiction has been mentioned but how do you know when habit has become addiction?

For me, I felt addicted once I realised that I couldn't manage my target, and it wasn't because I had social occasions or any other such excuse. It is because I find it very difficult to stop myself drinking if I feel like it.

I also think that addiction means different things to different people. My friends would say that I am not addicted to alcohol because they rarely see me drink and I don't drink during the day, ever. But they don't see the heavy binge drinking at home 3 or 4 times a week. They think an alcoholic wakes in the morning and begins drinking and continues all day. That is not my understanding of an alcoholic. To me, an alcoholic is someone who has a negative or uncontrolled relationship with alcohol but is unable to stop.

I believe that there are two (or probably more) main types of addiction. Physical addiction which is where you suffer horrible symptoms when you stop and need alcohol to alleviate them... and mental addiction/habit addiction which is where you cannot prevent your mind wanting alcohol to the point when you give in to it instead of having an AF night, which is what I have.

These are only my opinions and just the way I see it. Others may agree or see things differently.