The Giving Up/ Cutting Down alcohol support thread - number 12

365days

Green_Karen wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice and such a lot of it, it's given me a few things to think about.

I would love to get counselling, about drink and other things too, but have never known the best way to go about it. It's not the same as talking to friends who tend to say what they think you want to hear! That's on my to do list.

I have been doing all the typical 'middle aged' things since my early thirties! But as you say, it certainly beats lying on a sofa missing out on life and making assumptions about other's hobbies being sad! I think I need to do more of them. And since giving up alcohol, I have had loads more energy (mainly mental energy, the body isn't quite so willing yet!)

I know others on the Forum have mentioned that this is a difficult time of year and I find this is so true with dark nights and miserable weather, it is a difficult time to do productive things with the evenings, but try I must.

Enough for me from now.

Shaggy - on 10/30 AF days, thanks.

How do you do just the little bit of someones post quotes???????

Anyhow...Just back from Art Class;)
Link below will help anyoine considering counselling. The BACP is the regulatory body. Steer well clear of anyone not registered with these guys!It is currently not illegal to say 'I'm a counsellor' you will know that people on the site will at least be qualified.

http://www.bacp.co.uk/seeking_therapist/right_therapist.php

Most if not all counsellors offer a free initial meeting. Visit more than one, especially if you have never had counselling before, before you choose who to give your money to. And if you feel you aren't clicking with someone it's ok. And yes it can be expensive but see it as an investment in yourself. You are worth it and you can use the money you are saving from booze!

I have done some counselling training (and some of those on my course I wouldn't of trusted to counsel my cat!) so know a bit more than most about different theories so any questions please ask away!

mrsdee

Green_Karen wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice and such a lot of it, it's given me a few things to think about.

I just want to add my own thoughts to this. I have found 365 days comments very thought provoking and identify with a lot of what was said.

I find I am completely absorbed in thinking about not drinking. I am reading lots of information online and finding it really helpful. I am trying to avoid high risk situations and focussing on looking after myself. I've found it interesting that people I thought were friends have felt very uncomfortable when i've mentioned not drinking. Like, oh you don't drink that much, you don't drink as much as me, you deserve to unwind etc, life's for living etc. I can see beyond that a bit now to see that they are using those comments to justify their own drinking and to try and maintain the status quo.

I've set my goals in terms of target AFDs. I'm also limiting myself when going out to 3 drinks max. I'm actually finding that quite easy as simply have that figure fixed in my mind weeks in advance so I know what I am going to have, and I look forward to it and actually savour my drinks, rather than throwing them down my neck as I would have done in the past, and just keep drinking for the sake of it with no "end" planned....

I feel so much more positive, more in control, finding pleasure in small things (a cup of hot chocolate and a book, a walk on a blustery day!).

Not that I am aiming to be teetotal, just that I want to have an occasional drink, and have a limit to the amount. In the same way that I am cutting down on calories to lose weight.

Not sure what I am aiming at here, just really want to thank 365 days for the valuable insight. Thanks and have a good week everyone.

PriceySOS

There is some really good advice here today - thank you everybody xx

365days

PriceySOS wrote: »

There is some really good advice here today - thank you everybody xx

Just going to split hairs here! It's not advice it's just personal stories. If it resonates with you that is fantastic but I'm not advising anyone to do what I do/have done.

But I know what you meant and it is a pleasure!

365days

'and focussing on looking after myself' From Mrsdee.....absolutely 1000%

Fruball

A fairly poor start to the first third of the month... 5/17 please Shaggy.

I had some stressful news when I got home from work. For most people it wouldn't have been stressful but I suffer with anxiety and depression (on meds for many years, long before I was drinking) so it was stressful for me. What I had planned as an AF day has become a non AF day and that is why I know I have a problem.

Whilst I may not have done very well so far this month, my head is definitely better geared up and I am beginning to understand my 'problem' and what my triggers are etc which can only help in my 'recovery'.

The words posted by you lovely lot is invaluable and resonates with me enormously. I really appreciate your honesty and thoughts & opinions

I have put a limit on my intake this evening and once I hit it, I WILL go to bed!!!

Have a good evening everyone, whether AF or not

mrsdee

Fruball wrote: »

A fairly poor start to the first third of the month... 5/17 please Shaggy.

Whilst I may not have done very well so far this month, my head is definitely better geared up and I am beginning to understand my 'problem' and what my triggers are etc which can only help in my 'recovery'.

Well done Fruball - I think this is the key isnt it? Understanding why we do certain things and recognising the triggers and the pattern and then trying to change that. That in itself is a massive step. Sleep well tonight and hoping things will look a bit different in the morning.

Fruball

mrsdee wrote: »

Well done Fruball - I think this is the key isnt it? Understanding why we do certain things and recognising the triggers and the pattern and then trying to change that. That in itself is a massive step. Sleep well tonight and hoping things will look a bit different in the morning.

Thanks mrsdee. I have faced the situation head on where I would previously have fretted for ages before dealing with it, and it really isn't so bad! It is just this stupid anxiety which amplifies things and escalates them to a silly level when they should never be over thought in that way :mad: It's like losing a £1 but imagining, and playing out, the consequences of losing £100! I try to see it as my mind playing tricks on me and luckily I have a good friend who talks me down and makes me remember that.

ManPants

Evening All,

Calling 9 AF nights including tonight as I know I definitely won't be drinking.

Lots of little victories being won with us all. Great stories and successes! Hitting 9 AF seems easy tonight yet, despite being a full blown member of this forum for the past 2 years, I went AWOL for most of the spring & early summer and struggled to do even 2 consecutive nights despite good intentions.

Not much better from Jan to March come to think of it. One night in March I went out with a friend for birthday cocktails I got so rotten I phoned my other half up asking him where he'd left me and he hadn't even been out with me to start with! Doghouse for several days after puking all over the living room and dinning room floor when I finally did make it home!

Good Luck anyone who is struggling tonight! I heartily recommend a crispy autumn walk and a gawp in everyones house who haven't closed their drapes!

SPS X

jess_the_cat

Im checking in with a sun and today afd s so thats 7 AFD for me . I may be being a bit daft but im so worried about december , how am i going to cope lol .