How do we pay for our wedding without more debt!!? HELP.

MrsT2be

whitewing wrote: »

Do your parents actually know your financial situation, or do they just think you're there saving?

Maybe you need a good, long brainstorm with them.

I don't think they do, they know I took out a loan to pay off the negative equity for the flat I sold, but we haven't discussed my partners IVA (not sure even his parents know about it). I think the best option is to see what the bank say, then sit down with both sets of parents and have an honest discussion about where we are with things, then if we have to post pone, we post pone. At least everyone knows the situation. To be honest, I think my partner is embarrassed about the level of debt that he has, he rarely discusses it with me, let alone my parents.

pc1271

Better_Off_1983 wrote: »

Dont ask for money as a wedding gift... its crass and tacky

If everything is hunky-dory, then I'd agree that you shouldn't ask for cash, but I think close family and friends will understand that hubby was made redundant and so paying for the wedding is a struggle. Don't ask for cash outright, but let it be known that you need it far more than another toaster.

Mojisola

MrsT2be wrote: »

I don't think they do, they know I took out a loan to pay off the negative equity for the flat I sold, but we haven't discussed my partners IVA (not sure even his parents know about it). I think the best option is to see what the bank say, then sit down with both sets of parents and have an honest discussion about where we are with things, then if we have to post pone, we post pone. At least everyone knows the situation. To be honest, I think my partner is embarrassed about the level of debt that he has, he rarely discusses it with me, let alone my parents.

I think you'll find that most people who have been in debt have felt like that but also know that you don't ever start dealing with it properly until you open up about it - even if that's only to your OH.

MrsT2be

Thank you so much everyone for your honest and wonderful advice. I think I knew what we needed to do, but putting it all down on paper is so overwhelming, we've kind of got swept up in it all and then our heads have been buried in the sand.

Telling your partner who is already depressed at being out of work, that you want to cancel the wedding, does not help his self esteem, so he was resolutely against that idea, I think he feels we're failing and letting people down.

Step 1: Speak to both sets of parents, and each other, about how we can see getting round this situation
Step 12: Continue with appointment at the bank, but see whether it is feasible to make my current debt cheaper to raise funds over a long period of time, should we have to postpone, rather than taking on more debt.

laurel7172

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/superscrimpers/video/series-3/episode-6/s3-ep6-thrifty-wedding

Not keen on all of the advice in this programme...anybody who settled for a bowl of pasta salad from me would be getting short-changed indeed...but maybe some ideas you could try?

arbroath_lass

What have you actually paid for?

If you cancel now how much more will you have to pay?

If you go ahead how much more will you have to pay?

Thriftygifty

MrsT2be wrote: »

We've paid for wedding rings, my wedding dress, bridesmaid dresses, jewellery, ceremony fees, stationery etc. Deposits have been paid on both venues, the photographer, registrar fees, wedding night accommodation. Cake is gifted, flowers are gifted, honeymoon accommodation is gifted.

You've done well with what you have paid for so far.
I presume that the second venue is the costly bit of remaining money to pay? Could you not change this part and the food? And tell people that you have had a problem with the venue (make up an excuse) and at last minute you've had to switch venues to somewhere smaller as everywhere was booked? But I dont know the venues and costs so it's tricky.

MrsT2be

Thriftygifty wrote: »

You've done well with what you have paid for so far.
I presume that the second venue is the costly bit of remaining money to pay? Could you not change this part and the food? And tell people that you have had a problem with the venue (make up an excuse) and at last minute you've had to switch venues to somewhere smaller as everywhere was booked? But I dont know the venues and costs so it's tricky.

The second venue is actually cheaper, we are holding the reception in a pub, which we have hired out the top floor for, the food is only £13 per head, for 2 lots of buffet basically. The ceremony venue is the one costing us the most (which is what my parents are paying for), I booked the register office originally but when we viewed it was damp and grimy with no windows, so we booked the hotel instead, which charge a room hire, and we have to pay the registrar extra for them going to the venue rather than at the register office. We are getting a discount on our wedding night room because we're having the ceremony at the hotel. We've cancelled wedding cars, DJ, and cut down the guest list to 60 from 85. I guess we could look for a cheaper ceremony venue, but the regsitrar fees will be the same, and we'll have to give notice again and pay the admin fees, so that will be an extra £150. The photographer has booked accommodation and we've paid the non-refundable deposit.

pc1271

I wouldn't condone further debt, but you could try a new 0% for spending credit card, and charge some of the remaining costs to that. If you're accepted, you probably wouldn't get a £3k limit given your outstanding debts, but it might be £1k.

If you haven't already, flog as much redundant stuff as you can on eBay - any good quality clothes in your wardrobe that you no longer wear would fetch a few quid, likewise exercise kit, tools, furniture (eg a desk in spare room).

If you have loans, etc, have you checked if you have PPI?

arbroath_lass

Can you both look for additional work (pub? etc).

Re-read your post and your wedding isn't until May. I don't think you are too late to postpone it (not sure why the invitations were out so early).