How do we pay for our wedding without more debt!!? HELP.

MrsT2be

Hi all, I apologise in advance for how long this post will be.

When we got engaged we decided on a small wedding (budget of 8k maximum, which we have stuck to). We moved out of our rented flat and moved in with my parents so that we could save for the wedding, then my partner got made redundant from his 25k a year job, leaving us with only my income. It took 8 months for him to secure another job, taking a 12k pay cut in the process. Now we get married in May, and all of the savings that we put aside for the wedding have been used up paying for everything when my partner was out of work.
My parents are paying some towards the wedding, but we still have approximately £3000 to find. My partner has an IVA, so he can't take on any additional loans or credit cards, or we can't take anything in joint name.

The only option is for me to increase my loan. I have a loan that I took out to pay for house sale/negative equity fees when I seperated from my ex partner, and I also have two credit cards, and an overdraft. To take out a loan to pay off existing loan, cover overdraft and credit cards, as well as pay what is left of the wedding, I will have to take on a loan for £12000, which is scary and I'm not even sure I will get approved for that much.

We have cut back on our spending since my partner got made redundant and a lot of what we have bought along the way has been paid for in full (wedding rings, dresses etc), but we only have 2 pay days left until the final balance for the venues have to be made. Cancelling at this late stage is out of the question, the invites have gone out, we will lose at least £2500 of what we've already paid out, we have cut back on a lot of the things that we were going to have, but I've now lost all interest in the wedding, and everyone keeps asking when the flowers are being ordered, who's doing our hair, what food are we having, and all the time I just want to scream '!!!!!! off, I don't want any of this, I just want to get bloody married and not be in debt!'

I have an appointment with my bank on Wednesday, and one of my credit cards has already been moved to a 0% interest card, but I got rejected for a second 0% application, so I can't transfer the other one.
If anyone has any suggestions or ideas on how best to proceed, I'll be really grateful.

PS, I know we should have cancelled the wedding when my OH got made redundant, but he didnt want to.

hcb42

MrsT2be wrote: »

I just want to scream '!!!!!! off, I don't want any of this, I just want to get bloody married and not be in debt!'
.

There is your answer then.

You do not wanted to start married life in debt, so if you cannot afford it, change what you can now. You might lose some money, but better than getting into more debt.

stephane_2

You have to consider that your bank may decline your loan application...and if they do then your only option seems to borrow money from family or friends. In an ideal world you should have postponed the wedding a long time ago...Being £8000 in debt for a wedding is absolutely ridiculous in my own opinion and its certainly not a good start for your married life. I suppose that the other option you could have is instead of asking for wedding present would be to ask for money instead....nothing wrong with that.

miduck

You can get married for a few hundred pounds. Change your plans ...

MrsT2be

stephane wrote: »

You have to consider that your bank may decline your loan application...and if they do then your only option seems to borrow money from family or friends. In an ideal world you should have postponed the wedding a long time ago...Being £8000 in debt for a wedding is absolutely ridiculous in my own opinion and its certainly not a good start for your married life. I suppose that the other option you could have is instead of asking for wedding present would be to ask for money instead....nothing wrong with that.

I know we should, but at the time we paid off what we could with the savings we'd built up. We both already have debts anyway, him around £15000, me around £9000, so part of me thinks 'whats another 3k?!' My parents are already paying for some of it, his parents bought us a car, and I don't know anyone that has £3000 spare to lend us. I completely agree that £8000 is a ridiculous amount of money for a wedding, but when your parents are contributing its hard to say no, we just want to go to Vegas.

Better_Off_1983

It's not worth getting further in debt for a wedding... one day... nowadays weddings, especially big expensive ones are just about putting on airs and graces to please guests that you have not clapped eyes on for at least 2 years!

worried48

1. Downsize the wedding
2. Let it be known that what you would really like is gifts of money rather than household things which you probably already have plenty of.

Better_Off_1983

Dont ask for money as a wedding gift... its crass and tacky

miduck

MrsT2be wrote: »

I know we should, but at the time we paid off what we could with the savings we'd built up. We both already have debts anyway, him around £15000, me around £9000, so part of me thinks 'whats another 3k?!' My parents are already paying for some of it, his parents bought us a car, and I don't know anyone that has £3000 spare to lend us. I completely agree that £8000 is a ridiculous amount of money for a wedding, but when your parents are contributing its hard to say no, we just want to go to Vegas.

You are getting married in Vegas? If so, how much have you already paid? Have you booked tickets?

MrsT2be

miduck wrote: »

You can get married for a few hundred pounds. Change your plans ...

Yep, I know this. This is what I wanted to do originally, but it had to be 'a proper wedding', as per everyone in our families, apart from us. I know everyone says 'do what you want, its your day' but it is very difficult to not give in when you're being told 'don't worry, we're paying half'. My partner categorically does not want to cancel, or cut down the guest list, or postpone until next year (which I've suggested time and time again), because the invites have gone out and if we change our plans now, it will be £2500 of what we've already paid down the drain, plus the stress of rescheduling, rebooking etc.

miduck

MrsT2be wrote: »

Yep, I know this. This is what I wanted to do originally, but it had to be 'a proper wedding', as per everyone in our families, apart from us. I know everyone says 'do what you want, its your day' but it is very difficult to not give in when you're being told 'don't worry, we're paying half'. My partner categorically does not want to cancel, or cut down the guest list, or postpone until next year (which I've suggested time and time again), because the invites have gone out and if we change our plans now, it will be £2500 of what we've already paid down the drain, plus the stress of rescheduling, rebooking etc.

I see, you're not getting married in Vegas.

It sounds like you and your partner have massively differing views towards money. You need to sort this out before you get married.