Just don't relate well to people :(

Mojisola

olibrofiz wrote: »

y'know what, when i was in my late teens early 20's i was a hairdresser. i had weird hair, weird clothes and all that sort of stuff. now i mainly dress in black and hair wise am very conventional.

i actually miss that. maybe it's time to stop hiding away and trying to not be noticed - because i'm 'not normal', hide myself, don't attract anyones attention. maybe i do need to find myself. i used to be quite wacky, but over the years have tried to become an unnoticed person, blend in with the background

Get comfortable with yourself and be yourself!

You don't need to hide away in black clothes and a conventional hairdo - the world needs more wacky people!

Trying to be what you're not puts a lot of strain on yourself and that alone will make you feel off centre. Be true to yourself and you'll attract the right people to you. There will be people who don't like your new look - that's fine, they can spend their time with people who are like them and you can find people who click with you. Neither type is "better" or "right" - it's what suits each person.

Throw off that camouflaged caterpillar skin and show your dazzling butterfly wings!

edeneve

Hi Julie, Know exactly how you feel, I've always much prefered my own company than always being around people, I have a large family though so never quite alone...although as a single parent sometimes you can be alone even when its a full house.

I have seen friends come and go all through life, some who they slowly dissapeared or me letting go...those I let go were because they were life's takers or made me feel bad in some way or simply outgrew. Not all friendships are meant to last forever.

I have a few friends now but we dont have regular contact but we always now we are there for each other and we dont make each other feel bad when we dont talk for ages...because we acknowledge thats what life is like. I have had friends that want attention all the time, those friends have moaned when i dont answer my phone or see them, those friends i let go because its not how i am.

I'm more social in warm weather, in winter I prefer to be tucked up inside with a movie and wine lol....thats just me. I'm at a stage that I dont care how many friends i do or dont have, i dont want mad social schedules, I have a friend who MUST always be doing something, seeing someone, seeing latest gigs, going festivals and her husband complains he never sees her....she's nearly 50...her life is run on facebook, even tagging wherever she is at all times....to me it looks like she just has to portray how popular she is, how full her life is etc etc etc and I find it completely annoying...but its just her. I'm slowly dissolving this friendship as the group of friends she's in are all the same...acting their late 40's/early 50's like they just stepped out of sex and the city....and they all love to gossip, which doesnt interest me...its all about outdoing each other and i'm as down to earth as they come, i prefer camping, visiting historical places and chilling to going out clubbing till 5am alongside the 20 year olds. To me even though I have teens and babies I acknowledge my age and that I dont want to do the things i did at 20 any longer...its too knackering, thats not to say I dont like the odd night out but not every weekend!

Anyway guess what i'm saying is friends do outgrow each other and life is a process and dont feel bad about being different to others. Its actually a great skill to enjoy your own company, I couldn t imagine anything worse than having to rely on having people around all time just to feel ok.

olibrofiz

Popped back a little hesitantly thinking there'd be a few 'get over yourself & stop whinging, there are people worse off than you' after all, I WAS having a winge

And yes, there are people worse of than me, but we all have our own little worries, fears etc - I'm afraid mine just escaped out of the bag on Sunday. I think sometimes my expectations of myself are too high. Need to chill.

As happyhadock said, there have been some brilliant observations, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. I KNOW I couldn't be @rsed with a whole group of friends and the competing with who's child had done what/new car/big vs bigger house etc, etc. I was part of a group like that and chose to drop out a number of years ago now. Never regretted it.

I'd sort of forgotten that in my wailing moment. Big group of 'friends' doesn't necessarily equal fab times. And a partner, well, IME ditto with that too!

Need to start chipping away at my camouflage little by little

Oh, and I'm not Julie either

RevolvingDoor

victory wrote: »

CBT can help you re align your thought pattern and build up your self confidence

I think behavioural therapy is excellent from my own experience.